Thinking about throwing in the towel

What Do I have to find a girlfriend. Any advice.


I am 26 and have not had a gf in a couple of years. Mainly because I am working hard. I am 5'8", with an athletic build. I got my MBA from Northwestern, and I have a great job in NYC as an investment banker and venture capitalist. I drive a BMW and have a great apartment. I travel around the world and I speak several languages. I am nice but not too nice, I am chivalrous, and I listen.

What do I have to do I am just about to give up on dating it is getting frustrating getting shot down all the time, by every race and nationality.

 

no offense but mentioning what you have and your accomplishments isnt the way one finds a gf. being a good decent person who is interested in the woman and what they have to say, treating them like a lady and being a gentleman works better

 

I never tell any woman what I do for a living unless she asks, and I never tell them what I have either, I want to be liked for me not for what I have. I pride myself on being a gentlemen and being very respectful to them and still I get no where.

 

How do you approach women if you are interested?

 

thats great glt, but why didnt you tell us about your character, your values instead of telling us about what you drive and other material-superficial things.

that hasnt anything to do with whether you have a gf or not. tell her about YOU and tell us about YOU.

i am sure you are a great fella

 

Well about my character. Well my parents taught me to respect each person and treat them all the same. I believe in being honest and respectful. I grew up in family where I went to church every Sunday, my parents instilled in me in getting that being yourself and not acting the way everyone expects you to is more important.

I place a higher value on loyalty among friends. I am also the kinda guy that would help out his friend if he called me at 3am and I was in bed asleep.

I tend to try to be the guy that everyone likes.

I am also a person that believes in personal accountability, I never blame others for my shortcomings because they are mine.

I believe in relationships and not hookups. I decided a longtime ago that I will be a virgin until my wedding night. I believe in treating a woman like she is my equal not my possession.

I believe in family. When push comes to shove they will be there for you.

I believe in honor.

 

man glt, thats what I am talking about. that is great and what a good woman definitely wants to hear.

Now, with that great character go out and look for a woman by joining a club or organization. the elections are coming up this fall, I assume you are a democrat, you can meet nice liberal minded kinds of women by joining a local campaign. stuffing envelopes, going door to door with another person, meeting women this way is easy and fun.

take dancing lessons--

join local in line skating group in your city

take a saturday morning cooking class

if you attend church or synagogue, check out the singles groups and get involved

tons of singles organizations in each city. what city are you in?

hiking clubs

walk your dog in the park and talk to the people

 

That's great advice your giving tucker. :wink:

 

why thanks, growing up a Southern gentleman, we learned to court and date at an early age--i am not for the hook up era

 

one of these days I think I should date a man from the south.

 

You think we are nicer in the south???
We are.

 

I don't know. A lot of southern men have claimed that. Maybe I need to find out.

 

we are darlin, we are. its our mothers, our passion for food and the land, or love of tradition, respect for women and social graces. Not all of us mind you, there are always bad apples but for the most part we are.

 

actually down south men are different from up north men.nothing special just raised differently good or for worst people are different.its just like saying you want to date a men from china and japan you are going to get the same result beacuse its the type you go after.lol

 

You're joking right? Hope so 'cause Al Gore thinks thats fuzzy math!

Once again, are you serious or just joking? I hope joking 'cause Kanye West thinks you are a little full of yourself on that one!

Wow! My man W thinks thats just plain dumb!

 

Give up dating? Are you going to live lonely in a house with a couple of cats or something? You sound like you're trying to hard. Sit back and let them come to you.

 

I could just vomit..... seriously... :shock:



MAN, this is just WAY TOO EASY to pick apart! I will restrain myself this time. The OVERWHEMING PATHETICALNESS in this passage practically jumps out of the computer screen.



And your recent reaction to the posts written by a couple of the men in here don't help any of it one bit.



I think I will just leave you alone to deal with the rest of the responses from all the other posters now.

 

So are you planning to live alone and be mad at everyone?

 

Okay, Ill bite...

You cared enough to reply back to what I said, and when you respond to the attention you get (which you so desperately need obviously, especially from women) even when it's negative attention, THAT ITSELF is a clear sign of an overly-agressive insecurity, which you have constantly displayed throughout your posts. Your problems with women don't necessarily stem from 'all of them' supposedly 'hating YOU' and not feeling the same way about all other men somehow, BUT THEY DO come from a lot of intense emotions within YOURSELF, and how you obviously feel about yourself, not only as a black man, but a black man who has been ostracized and mistreated by women (but NOT all women, just the ones YOU picked out, and felt attracted to, get it?) so your so-called 'right' to hate all women over a select few that YOU were interested in, is totally bogus, especially when you take all of this insecure aggression out on all women, and somehow believe that this immature and demented behavior will actually aid you and your problems with women altogether.



You also found the answers to all of your issues with women throughout the messages of several posters in here and acknowledged it, BUT ONLY NEGATIVELY. Instead of finding fault in the entire world because of all of your own personal issues (which YOU are partly to blame for) and criticizing the content of other people's posts in here out of a jealous, frustrated, and paranoid feeling of inadequatecy, try to see and understand how and why their experiences with women turned out MUCH differently then yours. If you go back and read through your original post in this topic, you will see that you have already found and mentioned those answers, but instead, pushed them aside as not good enough, or 'stupid' and calling people 'fools' and attacking this website, when you don't have any reason ( or maybe you do, probably not a good one though) nor were forced to be in here, but you felt the need to post in these forums anyway, and respond back to the posts written to you in here, along with attacking people, but then ranting about being attacked, making sadomasochistic threats along with throwing tantrums, and claiming that you 'don't care about this site or the people in it', yet, you were aiming to gain the attention that you so desperately seek in here from the other posters in this so-called 'love puppy' site.

It's more than apparent to all of us in here that you seem to have a habit of contradicting yourself within your rants, as well as admitting repeatedly to having a lot of personal problems with yourself as an individual and as a black man, but at the same time, instead of making an effort to work out those issues you obviously have created around you in your own life with so much bad energy and vibes, and within yourself, (simply out of sheer aggressive insecurity), you choose to seek out a shoulder or 2 to cry on, and when you don't get your way with the world despite how much you hate life itself as well as the whole world, you repeatedly lash out like this. Your behavior doesn't exactly help the rain clouds to go away (especially in your own personal life) and since you like to put so much negativity into your views and ideals about the world, as well as people in general, ESPECIALLY ALL WOMEN, well, what do you expect?



Don't go around thinking that if you throw enough tantrums, be psychotic, paranoid, hateful, overly agressive, and insecure, that all of your problems and issues with women and life in general willl suddenly dissipate. That itself is what's weighing you down the most.

Holding hateful grudges won't change what's already happened to you before either. Carrying around the past like this doesn't help anything in the present, in fact, you are deliberately inviting the past to repeat itself again and again, when you react like this.

We can't always have our way, but that doesn't mean that if we go ballistic enough, things will change, and then people will automatically 'come to their senses' in comparison. YOU SIR, will have to meet people half-way FIRST.