There Has To Be A Reason

i don't care what my fella looks like
he is perfect to me
i don't care if he gains 5 stone or loses 5 stone,
i don't care if he loses his teeth, or had them strarightened
i don't care what he looks like
i really don't

 

I see you're not the kind to allow yourself to be punked-out because of your dating choices..

 

that'd be great when that happens,

but, personally, i think that debates over skin colour continues the debate over issues of skin colour. it suggests its still an issue. it is not cathartic.

its like when angelina jolie says she wants a rainbow family - that is just highlighting the differences between her 3 children, dividing them by race. it's just one of these things that annoy me....why characterise people by race, anymore than by age or gender. its done from school onwards, and i believe it is the start of prejudices.

 

Indeed.. and what fine day that would be.. if only in our dreams

 

STANDING-UP CLAPPING..!!!

 

Life is to short to live it to please other people.


Besides.. I think Black and White together is to beautiful not to let a little thing like other peoples opinions make me feel bad about it.

 

Well, the whole discussion over skincolor would be reduced to a minimum if people would take it for what it is: a simple preference for a physical characteristic. But as long as people keep on questioning it, nagging about it, and keep on telling people that they have "issues", "problems", or suffer from some "mental dysfunction" simply because they prefer a certain physical characteristic over another, that long discussions like these are indeed not cathartic.

So why don't you start with yourself and help to make it happen?

 

help make what happen - race not be an issue?
i have never entered a debate on race here before as i have no issues with it. never have.
but it is just something that is going around in my head when i have been reading postings here.
as india arie says 'i am not my hair'
couldn't agree more
i don't think there is anything wrong with having a tendency towards a feature/type.......nothing wrong with that at all
but i think by saying u like - white women, or black men, is grouping a whole race together, which is a form of positive discrimination.

 

The More Things Change...

So I was away for awhile but I return to see things are pretty much the same.

One thing that confuses me about this Forum...the Title of this site is WHITE WOMEN BLACK MEN, which led me to believe that most of the discussion would be supportive of IR relationships. I was wrong.

Why is it that so many BM find a need to justify their attraction to WW? And regarding the issue of exclusivity, we live in America and each of us has a right to prefer whoever and whatever we want and should not be hammered for it...especially by the very people who comprise the group we belong to!

So what if I said that I prefer dark-skinned Black women or White women, period? What if I prefer one or the other and nothing in between? So what? That's my right. And if I just prefer white women then so what? Why do I need to justify myself to anyone about that?

Why do we have BW on this board in the first place? I am really confused by this. I once tried to join a Yahoo Group that was for BW and WM and they were very clear that I did not belong there and so I was denied membership.

We should change the name of the board to something more appropriate like RACE RELATIONS or something. I have been lurking and it disturbs me to see how many BM on here find a need to justify themselves to everyone and say things like, "I am attracted to ALL types of women!" That's great, but then why are you a part of this site instead of something more open? That is like joining a site called Gay&Lesbian Love and then arguing that you are attracted to both sexes and believe exclusivity is ridiculous! Great, so go join a Bi-sexual site!

Does anyone here know of a site where the BM and WW are really talking about BM and WW instead of trying to argue with each other about why they have preferences or justify their lifestyle choices?
:?:

 

They feel to justify it because if WW who are in a relationship with a BM can be so confused on whether a tendency/prefference or exclusivity is ok or not, you can imagine what the BW say.
And you know, the people who date all races might just like all races, but preffer white/black, which I think gives them the right to post here.

 

I've said over and over that I'm not condemning preference or attraction for a white woman. Anybody coming here trying to justify their preference or attraction for a white women is in the wrong thread. Again, that isn't what this is about.

But it seems like no matter how many times I say that, people keep bringing the discussion back to "justification." At first the issue was being discussed, but you go right back to that. It's like a defense mechanism now. As soon as you see Black Women in the topic or the message, people get defensive. All logic and rationale goes out of the window as soon as Black woman is said. Out of all places it shouldn't be like that here.

To me it's just very ironic that we're on a site promoting racial tolerance and even beyond but a lot of women here don't have it for Black women and bruthas for their own sisters. Sad.

 

That's fine to like all races but what I keep reading is people slagging those who say they DO have a preference. This Group is named BM WW, not Interracial Love. Like I said, the name was misleading for me. I thought this was going to be a site that was exclusively for BM WW discussion and for people who DO have a preference and are not ashamed to talk about it. Why join a Group called BM WW and then start preaching about how having a preference for BM or WW is somehow wrong or dysfunctional?!

Again, that makes no sense to me. If I join a Group called White Men Asian Women, I am going to expect that its a Group for and about WM and AW who prefer each other over other races for whatever reason. I would NOT expect to join the Group and then start ranting about how they should not have preferences, I like all races, they need to justify their preference, etc.

What I have seen here is that the same dynamic that happens out in society is just repeated over and over on these boards. In society, people attack IR couples and demand that they justify their attraction and preference, they villify BM or WW who seem to prefer one race over the other, they label them confused, misled, dysfunctional, race traitors, etc.

The same dynamics are on this board and that is sad when I thought it was supposed to be a sanctuary for BM WW preference. Like I said, I have no problem with everyone expressing their views but I wish the name would get changed to reflect what the board really is and not what it is supposed to be.

 

Is this site promoting "racial tolerance" ??? The title seems pretty clear and exclusive to me: BLACK MEN, WHITE WOMEN.com. Not "INTERRACIAL LOVE" or "RAINBOW HAVEN" or anything that would lead a browsing Internet surfer to think this site was trying to promote anything other than IR between BM and WW.

Again, the title is very misleading. If I were a WM or BW surfing the Internet, I would not read our title and think, "OH. That site promotes racial tolerance among all people!" I would think, "OH. That site is for BM and WW, which is what the title says very clearly and simply."

In fact, I found this site as a link to Interracial Candy, which is a site that is 99% BM / WW sex.

In fact, here is the banner that announces our site to the world:

White Women Black Men . com

# 1 Interracial dating site for White Women and Black Men


What about that title says anything about the site promoting racial tolerance? The title promotes IR dating between BM and WW.

I thought the site was very specific and focused on BM / WW, not the far-reaching, general topic of racial tolerance. There is a difference between preference and tolerance.

 

I would very much like to say something but I don't have time. Be back later ...

 

Re: The More Things Change...

yeah.. I was a moderator (although I asked to be let off) of Blackenize.com. They do not allow anyone other than black men and white women on that board for this very reason. No drama about our preferences.

But I'm on boards similar to this one (meant for BM/WW) but do not say no to others joining. They all have their strong points and negatives ones..

Either way, I still have my preferences, whether any one likes it or not.

 

Actually this site does promote racial tolerance. I didn't say it was the main thing it promoted, but check "Issues". Under Issues is the "Stereotypes and Myths" forum and "Dealing with prejudice" forum.

 

Amen.

I get tired of people assuming that I'm ONLY attracted to White Women(I'm Black obviously), or more specifically, that I flat out don't find Black Women attractive. I've never been one of those brothers who dogged out Black Women, in lieu of a preference for White Women. I've simply dated White Women, and left it at that. I don't feel the need to explain myself, either. People are attracted to whomever they're attracted to. There's nothing political about it. Unfortunately, in this great society of ours, we like to trivialize, be petty, and mind each others' business.

 

when I am on a site such as this, I never assume others date only one race, because there is nothing wrong with those who date all races or one race, its all their business. What I do expect on an IR site, especially one titled such as this one, is to be not ridiculed if I happen to prefer to date only BM.

 

Exactly, Sassy. And although I have dated and loved BW in my life, I prefer WW for a number of reasons that are all my own. And I have no problem saying that. Yes, I have a preference and its WW. I have BW friends that I love dearly but when it comes to romance and intimacy, the last 10 years of my life have involved WW almost exclusively. Like most people, I keep doing what works and being with WW has always worked for me, which has led to a preference that has shaped my expectations and desires. There, its been said and I am not ashamed of it (as I should NOT be on a site named BlackMen WhiteWomen.com!): PhillyLove has a preference for WW!

I do think that allowing BW on this site is strange b/c of the fact that it is named BM WW. That just seems like an invitation to all kinds of drama and Trolling. But, I imagine the Mod and Webmaster has a divine plan to things.

I WOULD like to find a site that really is just for BM and WW so that we can discuss some topics out in the open without fear or reprisal of branding by other members.

:?:

 

I still believe that a site called BLACK MEN WHITE WOMEN.com should focus exclusively on Black Men and White Women. Racial tolerance or not, the site promotes itself as being for and about Black Men and White Women.

I want to find a site that IS exclusive and IS all about BM and WW, truly. There are v ery normal, healthy, wonderful people in the world who have very strong preferences and are not ashamed to discuss them. That is what I am looking for so if you can point me in the right direction I will slide off this board in search of something more in line with its title.