There Has To Be A Reason

I understand that any man can be attracted (or lust after) to any race of women especially if he's overcome with passion. I've been with Black women all of my life, but I found myself yesterday looking twice at some female who's ethnicity I couldn't make out if my life depended on it. But for a Black man to say that he's only attracted to white women and not Black women and that he doesn't have an issue with Black women doesn't make sense. There had to be some voluntary mental suppression that caused this.

 

lol. even though i'm a ww and i really shouldn't care (hey, we're not all wrapped up in ourselves ya'know :lol, this puzzles me too. this is the first time i'm learning about inter racial relationships without feeling that embarrassed from asking questions face to face and it's interesting to learn a little bit of the dynamics behind them.

 

There's no mental suppression here. I personally think that exclusivity is ridiculous, seeing as though there are attractive women from all races across the globe. I think Beyonce Knowles and Jessica Alba are some of the most beautiful women there are, and neither of them are caucasian. I'm a member of this website because i'm open to dating caucasian girls, but it would be ridiculous for me to say that i'm attracted to only one race of woman when there are really, really good looking women of all kinds out there. I like to just keep myself open and see what happens you know.

 

Let me tell you one thing about attraction. They come in different forms such as interpersonal and intrapersonal(those being the main obvious) and levels of physical attractiveness have the potential to influence others in powerful ways. The attributes that are based on perceptions of physical attractiveness can either add to one's status or stigmatize it. Males and females have different cognitive ideas about the attractiveness of the opposite sex.

Three facts about attraction that most introductory psychology texts cite are proximity, similarity and physical attraction. These are some of the factors leading to interpersonal attraction. Some others are reward/reinforcement, familiarity and reciprocal liking. One big hypothesis of attraction is a theory that states that interpersonal attraction is more likely when the other person's physical attractiveness is similar to our perception of our own physical attractiveness. However the equity theory suggests that physical attractiveness is one reward in a relationship but there are many different rewards and costs that we weigh up. So there you have it, my friend, attraction is not solely based on familiarity but other factors and when they are being considered, you come to a compromise.

Nonetheless, i understand what you mean when you say that there has to be some mental supression. That very suppression is what leads to comments such as, "They are stealing our men/women" most commonly heard from black women and Asian men. I did not include white men and it is debatable because like it or not, white men can have pretty much any woman they want. This is not because they are the most attractive(contrary to societal beliefs) but because they have all the assets that attract women; money, power and respect. When you have that, the sky is the limit. For others, the limit is the sky. Also, white men come up with ridiculous comments such as "Black men only get the fat, unattractive, trashy white women" or "The only black men who get beautiful white women are the rich ones". But if that was the case, why was the primary rationale for post-Civil War lynching the protection of the white women from newly freed black men. White fear of black male sexuality answers that question. Sociologist Gunnar Myrdal ranked fear of sexual contact as the number one white aversion to integration in the 1950s. Bans on interracial marriage were constitutional up through our parents' generation. The sexual/marital barrier may be the last and strongest held defense on the racist line. Skin color is consciously and unconsciously attached to so many different connotations that are so much deeper and physical appearance. We cannot afford to make categorical statements about the attractiveness of members of different races. Our history prevents it.


Back to what i was saying. One of the most ridiculous statements that I know is "they're stealing our (wo)men." It is one we hear almost all the time. One of the reasons for such asinine remarks, which comes by wa of mental suppression, is because these days, people (especially American people) are getting attraction, love and lust mixed up. They just do not get the difference. Since when was love based on skin colour? Lust definitely can incorporate it, but I would hope that marriage is based on love rather than lust. Isn't a person's preference in a mate a personal attraction than one based on a stereotypical notion? I realize that socialization is a key contributor to what people strive for in a mate (including ethnicity), but attraction isn't simply based on that. There are various factors, such as religion, language, socio-economic status, personality etc. So just because a person sees an Asian woman with a white man or a black man with a white women, does that or should that put a burden on you as the opposite sex? It was the person's choice who to go with so who are you to say one race of women/men are going after the others? Unless you're some kind of opportunistic, classifying son-of-a-bitch, you should know that the choice of one person should not bother you. Shouldn't you be after the one woman for you, regardless of her skin color?

Now i am attracted to all races of women, yes white women included :lol: Now, let me give you a run-through of the women i consider the most attractive, however cynical you want to be. In ascending order it goes this way;

Tyra Banks

Ali Landry

Gabrielle Union

Ashanti

Eva Mendes

Nicole Scherzinger

Salma Hayek

Roselyn Sanchez

Christina Milian

Alicia Keys




How many of these women are white? None. How many of these women are "colored"? All of them. Does that have any effect of what i consider beautiful let alone my choice of a partner? I have never thought so. Whilst, to some, i might have an "exotic" sense of beauty, i just do not see it that way. I really have no prerogative in digging down to find out why i am attracted to these women. The most important thing is that they are hot to me and that is all that counts. Whilst i have dated white girls in the past, that does not have any say in my future dating options and mre importantly, does not restrict my laws of attraction. I hope your question has been answered.

 

You're a really smart man Chris. I like what you're saying. When you presented your list of women that are attractive, you didn't give any reason for why you think they're attractive, and that to me was the key. I don't think there is any logical way for you to explain why they're attractive to you, they just are. My mother once told me that attraction is based on the contour of someone's face, and i thought to myself, maybe that's true. But, i can never go around and consciously say to myself, i'm only gonna like this girl or that girl because she has a perfect facial contour you know. I don't think true attraction can be explained, and when black guys and white women are always trying to defend themselves and explain their attractions for one another, i think it's just a big, gigantic, waste of time. That's why i could never say to myself that i'm completely through with african american girls or anything like that. I've had my fair share of rejections when i was younger, due to the fact that i wasn't as popular and well-liked as all of the other guys my age, but i assure you, if any of the women on that list of yours asked me out on a date, i'd say hell yeah because all those women are really hot :smt047

I also want to comment on the part about white guys only thinking that black guys get offers from really fat and unattractive white ladies. My brothers wife completely shatters all of those myths (i mean, blows them completely away) and white guys hate it. She's really young and beautiful and really thin, and she doesn't try and act "black" or anything like that. She's definitely one of their own, but she fell in love with a black man. Her parents and family members were so ticked off about my brother stealing away their little princess that they started a bunch of crazy rumors about him in an attempt to make him look bad. It was just really ridiculous. Also, when they go out in public, they get lots of stares because she's really, really good looking, and he's really, really good looking, and i guess people aren't used to seeing that kinda thing very often you know. I guess people feel as though if a white girl is really attractive, that she's gonna look to be with white guys first and black guys second, but she didn't, and she chose the guy who she loved. I just think it's great. I want that same kinda thing for myself one day. :smt045

 

http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=Arora23 (second paragraph)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interpersonal_attraction (third paragraph)
http://www.units.muohio.edu/psybersite/attraction/ (second paragraph)
and so on .... :roll:

 

So, i used a few references; what's the big deal? Did i not use a few of my own words? At least i made an effort to reply something with common sense.

 

Why are race-relations and attractions the hot topic of discussion in here on the boards with a bunch of people griping about having to defend their attractions to white women and black men out in the real world, but also having to defend it to one another in here?

 

I really wonder about this.
I mean, if we look at it in other terms does it still hold true?

If a man says he's only attracted to tall women and not short women but that he doesn't have an issue with short women, would you still wonder about the sincerity of his words? Would you still say that here has to be some type of "mental suppression that caused this."??

If a woman says she's only attracted to men with long hair and not men with short hair but that she doesn't have an issue with men with short hair, would you still wonder the same things?

Attraction is what it is.
I like to think that it is a positive thing as opposed to a negative thing.

For example, I think that (MOST) homosexuals aren't gay because they had bad experiences with the oppsite sex, it's a question of attraction.

It's simply a question of what turns you on.

Why specific traits attract you to a person and turn you on though, I think is impossible to determine!

 

I don't understand why people on here still respond to posts like this. I don't mind the discussion about preference per se, but I can't believe we still respond to people who are ignorant enough to disregard the majority of the posts on this site and continue to seek some sort of twisted truth why we date IR. Mental suppression, hates his sister-mother-grandma-syndrome, must be a trophy wife.... come on people stop the madness!

 

That's a real easy cop-out to just say I'm looking for a twisted reason why Black men date White women, but that's not the case. Obviously some Black men are attracted to them, which they can be. A man can or will be attracted to any kind of attractive woman, whether somebody else likes it or not.

This mental suppression specifically is about claiming not to be attracted to Black woman anymore, not about a Black man's attraction to White woman. So we can throw all of that trophy talk and forbidden fruit chatter out of the window. This is not that same message. Read the posts before you. They'll prove it.

But on the other hand let's not be blind to the wiles of mass media and oppressors of the Black man. They do exist.

 

So, if I tell you that so far I have dated BM exclusively the conclusion for you is that there must be some sort of "natural supression" going on with me that prevents me from dating or even being interested in white men?

That is not the case at all, there are many white men I find very intelligent, confident, funny and attractive (all attributes I look for in a man) and if destiny decides to send a white man my way I am interested in I would definitely date him- no doubt in my mind.

Why does a preference automatically lead to a negative dismissal of the other? Why can't I choose to love strawberries but not raspberries although there is nothing wrong with raspberries? Why would that have to lead into a deep dive into my psyche when all I do is prefer the taste of one over the other?

 

Ugh rasberries

I like strawberries

I've heard they're good with chocolate

Will you be my strawberry?

 

But seriously ...

Most of the bruthas on here claim to have had a negative experience with Black women. I'm just putting 2 and 2 together.

 

2 and 2 together you say?

how about this:

I`ve had ZERO negative experience with BW
My very first gf was black and it was really a great overall experience
One of the best sex I`ve had ever, was with the one BW I ever had sex with!

And still, my preference is WW!

2+2 = 5 !

 

Hehehe...a childish statement, from a childish man, Jerome29...
You should have lived with me in Strasbourg or in Paris with me, or travelled to Copenhagen or Berlin with me...and you would have seen that WW are the "thing" you CAN have over there...so, well, sometimes ppl want what they can have and their life is soooo much simpler...but to know that they should want what they can have they need to be MATURE!

ps: and by the way...I`ve "had" so many...and when I say so many, ask Lucifemorningstar (I know, I`m being cocky...sorry)...but I still want them...that also denies your statement...or maybe I`m just abnormal ?

 

Indeed.

 

Oh... so now it's on to bragging about how many white girls you were banging???? VEEEEEERY CLASSY :roll:

 

Ouch...I was just waiting for the jab...

Ok, ok...Frau Chigirl, I`m sorry...and all the ladies here...It was the attitude required to respond to Jerome29...I used his own immature kungfu on him...well...sorry

And well, let`s stay classy and not use words like "banging"
it`s more like...you know "deliciously making love to"

 

LOL Jrem- great response and yeah please let's stay fucking classy here :lol:

LMAO I Love it!