"The weak-minded little white girl-What could she possibly know about pain & suffer?"

Exactly.

Be-you, I'm glad you shared this, because a problem shared is a problem halved.

I understand how hard it is. I am 25 years old and in 23 days, I have my follow-up at the oncologist's to make sure I am still cancer free. I could say how hard it is, and I could say, "You don't ever want to know what it is to be afraid to wake up in the morning because of physical pain," but no matter whether it's physical or emotional pain, you have to do one thing or the other. At this point in my life, I don't really have the audacity to criticize those who choose not to go on. It's so easy when you're facing a potential death that will be horrible. No one should be forced to die without dignity, but I digress.

I've been lied to, cheated on, beaten, nearly dropped dead, but I feel on an even keel with life. I've done some pretty bad stuff, a lot of hard luck, but a lot of easy living. From this point on, or at least from June 22 on, I am the mistress of my own fate. I call the shots, and no one but me has the power to make me feel bad over my life. I could be bitter as hell, but what good would it do me?

 

Wow you're having quite a lot on your shoulders,too. I hope your oncologist appointment will have good results for you! *hugs* =)

 

You guys are also level-headed and cool, cause you always have to have everything balanced. I like you guys....

This is for you:

http://astrological-sun-signs.suite101.com/article.cfm/libra_personality_profile

I'm sorry you guys have to go through this BS. I agree, it does make us stronger to endear a lot, whether we know it or not. Keep the strength up ladies and my prayers are with you!

 

Damn, is cheating really that traumatizing to you women?..im beginning to feel sorry due to all the shit i did in my past......but i still maintain though, i think if a woman is weak enough to be in love ,she should be strong enough to get her heart broken

But still, keep your head up, sweety, regarding all the other shit. You strike me as a strong girl and your good looks and intelligence should serve as a catalyst for your ultimate survival (and happiness). Its not about being weak hearted, however, there are certain mistakes in life that should be made only once. For example, 1) stealing your fathers car and getting in an accident, and 2) dealing with a man that puts his hands on you in a fist of rage. I just never get why some women put up with that shit. So I gotta commend betuful86 for choosing to be(and stay) single for a while (hopefully -long while). I think she might have ultimately altered her fate, which to me, didnt look anything other than "catastrophically dangerous"(regarding men).

 

I can't remember who said it on here but the only way I can describe it is in his words, it's soul destroying.
It doesn't just make you question the person that did it, or the value of your relationship, but it makes you question yourself and what you are actually worth as a person. For someone with very little self esteem, this effected me (and is still effecting me, even though it happened over six months ago) much more than I ever imagined it would.

You and I joke around a lot BMJ but I'll have to talk seriously just this once. Have you ever actually been in love? You generalise women as the ones who are 'weak enough to fall in love' but men fall head over heels just as much. A very good friend of mine found out recently that his girlfriend of five years had been fucking a guy at her work for 9 months. She'd fuck him, then come round to my friends' house, acting all sweet and 'I love you, I love you.' She wasn't even fazed when he found out and confronted her about it.
He's crushed. Heartbroken.

Being in love with someone is not about being 'weak.' Although you can't help who you fall in love with, you CAN help who you put your trust into and that was what hurt so much. I don't trust people very easily. It took me a little while to trust him as well and I did, and that's what hurt the most. The fact that my trust went from like 99% with him, to zero in less than one day.
Love is something you can get back and you can fall in love with another person eventually, bad break up or not, but having your trust destroyed is something else. I just can't bring myself to trust people and I know it will be a while before I do.

Funny thing is, by cheating standards, it wasn't even that bad. He said to me 'all I did was kiss her' so many times, as if he should get some sort of prize for this. I know a lot of people will see this as minor but just keep in mind, something so minor can really and truly hurt a person and change their life.

Thank you for your kind words though! I'm trying to keep my head up, really. A couple of months ago I was having days where I couldn't eat, sleep, get out of bed and even go to uni, and just spent the days crying and smoking. I'm not even a smoker, hah.
But I'm moving on from that shit now and I'm trying to be more positive. Trying not to get too involved in shit emotionally and just focusing on my education right now and moving forward.
Gotta get a bit of good luck at some point, right?!

 

"can't remember who said it on here but the only way I can describe it is in his words, it's soul destroying."

Why are you so sure that we even have a soul?

To be honest, I think your friend is a bit pathetic. I mean, i too know a guy whos been in a coma for 2 months now because "someone" fucked his wife behind his back. Basically the guy knew she was too hot for him, he knew this like the back of his hand, but he persisted on rendering his heart and time to her, even though she disrespected him. Unsurprisingly, she confessed because she was about to split, you know how women are(I mean she could have just left him without telling him all that shit, but no---dumbass women). After hearing the news, the guy destroyed their house, followed by an attempted suicide (via hanging). Unfortunately (for him), the rope broke or something (didn’t really ask the details there) but he ended up failing to kill himself 100% (ie he was half dead when he was found). Paralyzed or something frm the neck down with severe brain damage, im not sure, but hes been in the hospital for a while now, only because he was stupid enough to trust and "be inlove"....sad i tells ya

so to answer your question, no, I don’t think true love exists between the human race, unless youre talking about family/friendship love. As soon as sex and commitment is involved, its no longer love, its possession. So I have never been in love, although ive had to lie to countless women in my past that I was, to make them fall deeper in love, that way I could realy mess them up when I cheat (God knows I am trying to change, but the reaction they give is pure entertainment)

What caught my eyes in your opening paragraph is that you are such a breath of fresh ass, I mean, fresh air, I don’t know why your self esteem is so low? Heck you should have a huge ego for petes sakes, because ive seen girls who look nothing close to you with the hugest fucking egos. So what gives? I know you come from a "working class/ blue collar/poor/whatever" background (many ppl do) but still, I don’t see why your self esteem is so low, especially given your looks and intelligence (not to mention your ever giving personality..or maybe that could be it??). When you measure your worth according to how a guy feels about you, you are setting yourself for catastrophic failure, plain and simple. You should never trust anyone, period. The people that eventually acquire your trust should only be trusted 72.5%, and never give yourself 100% to anyone. That’s my methodology, that way you will never really get to know anyone (dont worry most people are not worth a mention), and nobody will ever truly get to know you (those that know you are your biggest enemies disguised—trust me).

So just learn to say "fuck it" and move on. I know its hard to just move on after putting so much into it, but that’s where you went wrong. You should never put more than an "effort" into a sex based relationship. And if a person you invested so much of your "worth" on decides to make you feel worthless, the only reimbursement is through vengeance. Again, i know youre a good gyal and all, but being bad is the best survival tactic out there.

You know im only writin this cuz i got nuthin but love fo ya russia, I will always have kind words for you. you know this, haha. For whatever its worth though, I thnk you over analyze your feelings way too much. And this consistent exaggeration of emotion is the main reason minor things "effect" (or affect) you. like fo example, there was no reason to have a mental break down (which you described ) just because your trust was broken. (i.e he cheated). Of course I don’t know the whole story, but still, you should be strong enough to either do the same to him, or just say fuck it and move on; but to have a psychological breakdown and not eat for a douchebag??....nah….youre stronger than that sweety....i know you are

 

I have never come across anyone quite like you, BMJ. What on earth happened in your past to make you the person you are?? *wonders*.....

 

Well that's fair enough BMJ, you're saving yourself A LOT of trouble with your outlook, honestly! I personally do enjoy companionship and can honestly say that there are very few things that can compare to that feeling of being in love and loving someone else so I don't really want to go through life without that.
Please don't misunderstand me though, it hurt, but it wasn't the cause of the breakdown. That, unfortunately, was triggered by a lot of shit from my past that's far too personal for me to go into in front of the whole forum. But I did get too attached. And I do need to be much more cautious in the future with who I give my trust to.
On the other hand, I don't want to end up with a string of failed romances and a tally of meaningless one night stands. I don't get any pleasure out of that. That's naive on my part I guess, but I'm not a robot, you know? I don't want to go through life being completely selfish, even though most people are now. It's just a matter of learning from past mistakes and now I know not to put all of my trust in someone. Now I know to be more cautious.

 

Let Not One Judge Another Until They Have Walked A Mile In Said Other's Shoes.


Or something like that.


Peace, Luv...



















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Cheating can be traumatizing especially when there were other issues in a relationship,too.
Cheating itself though can be bad enough.