The Ugly Duckling Syndrome!

Psyche major Septimius Severus has some frightening news...............

The ugly duckling is a White woman who might not necessarily get billed as the Ugliest Woman in the World at the circus but who doesn't turn heads either. In White circles, that is. As soon as she steps out of Fortress Caucasia, she's the belle of the ball. Men of colour shower her with attention. But the ugly duckling's greatest asset isn't her money or social position. It's her Whiteness, which in some communities of colour is a precious commodity. The ugly duckling goes out with men of colour because she's "not good enough" for white men. It sickens me the most of the ugliest of WW believe they can have the cream of all black men. It also sickens me that some black men put absolute value of a women absolutely on the basis of her skin completion. When an ugly duckling "steps" to me, I usually tell them to take their fat ugly white pregnant arses some where else. But, I am a big "meany" and shallow because I say "white hotties" only. Yes, I am telling all the black men WHO ARE ATTRACTIVE, are SUCCESSFUL AND CAN HAVE ANY GOD DAMN WOMEN HE WANTS OF ANY HUE. STOP DATING THE UGLY DUCKLING. Put these women in their places so they can work on their self-worth, because THE MAJORITY of them will not even be interested in you if she was not so fat and ugly.

My factoid.....

 

Well, Seven, you're plagiarizing a bit (from http://www.webcom.com/~intvoice/emily3.html), but I gotta say I agree with you about this part: "THE MAJORITY of them will not even be interested in you if she was not so fat and ugly".

That's what turns me off about "the ugly duckling" -- not so much even the looks (I'm no big "looks" snob) -- but the fact that so many women are staunch about race if they look decent, but are willing to "settle for anyone" if they don't.

However, keep in mind that there are plenty of butt-ugly ww who still would turn up their nose at a black man. Also keep in mind that there are gorgeous ww who do date bm.

Lastly, let's keep in mind that the "ugly duckling" syndrome hardly affects ww only. I think it's even more prevalent and more stark among minority nonblack women (latin, asian) who go for black men. It's even prevalent among bw, in that the more attractive they are, the more snobbish they can be toward black men (though they're likely to "cut corners" when they date a white man), while the less attractive ones are more open overall...

Not to open a can of worms -- I just want to put it all in perspective. IMHO, it's basically a "woman" thing, rather than a ww thing, tied into issues of social ("racial") status, just as it's often also tied into issues of financial status, etc...

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...Still, you're right: you shouldn't let anyone "settle" for you, and you shouldn't settle for anyone just because they're of a certain "race".

In general, we can't judge the choices of others though... A woman may be plain on the outside but you never know what she's coming with beneath the surface...

 

I think you purposely stepped into a battle with this one, 7!!!

...but it won't be with me. This was the message I was trying to convey in the "Is being a thickgirl a race thing?" thread. But, I also believe it's the entire package within the "ugly duckling" - someone who is less attractive emotionally, intellectually, successfully, spiritually...and physically. I see WAAAAY too many bm who do not have high enough standards for a white woman, but wouldn't go near a bw who was more superior in all of these areas.

(p.s. I am a white girl MO!!!!!!!!!!)

 

The worst is those women with personality disorders who'll go for bm thinking that they'll get a break from bm because they're nonblack, or because bm don't mind "strong" women, etc. Shrews & such.

However, to tell the truth, I really don't see many bm getting with "ugly duckling" women in my area. My opinion on the ugly duckling phenomenon is based on the fact that I see ugly duckling nonblack women coming on to me more freely than average or pretty women...

I still say we shouldn't judge though... Interesting subject, seven -- one that's right at the heart of bmww relations...

 

Yes, I have said those many things in one of those dick threads created by Iffwifey. But, this only confirms my theory of natural selection. I believe the 'Ugly Duckling Syndrome' is an effect of natural selection(the cause). Even she recognizes her programming. I also believe the behaviour is subconscious, though, I would not say this behaviour is prevalent in all non-black and black women. But there is an minority of women who know EXACTLY what they are doing which is what I believe you are describing, a conscious state "snobbery." But do correct if I am wrong.

I really do not see the correlation between 'Ugly Duckling Syndrome'(subconscious state) and "Snobbery"(conscious state). You have to remember that the premise around 'Ugly Duckling Syndrome' does not arise without conditions. What causes the condition of 'Ugly Duckling Syndrome' would be the neglect of men. Not just any men, but that of white men, often seen as the figure power. I believe if women had the choice or in this case absolute power, be her black, white, latin, or Asian, would ALL rather have white male partners then black male partners. But remember, that decision is not a conscious one. With that said, for those who do not suffer under the 'Ugly Duckling Syndrome' would never settle; even date or consider black men as long term material, unless he is one of two variables or both: attractive and/or successful and success usually equates to power.

The women with the 'Ugly Duckling Syndrome' is just as bad as the 'Nice Guy.' Just because THEY 'believe' THEY are this great person, should automatically equate "the cream of the crop." Which we all know is unrealistic. Why do I say it sickens me? It is simple, too many men of colour(not just black men) have an "Colour Complex." And quite frankly, they to do not recognize their programming.

 

MOST, not "ALL." I am a very cute girl and I often can choose who I want to date. Yesterday I chose to go out coffee with a bm, despite the offers for a date by white men. I am sorry to all the bm on this site that complain how bm are not considered attractive to the rest of society, because the man I was with yesterday was, in my opinion, quite fine. And I, despite the ugly duckling syndrome, am considered by wm, bm, am, lm, etc. quite fine.

(sorry for the ego, just feeling good............... )

 

Naaahhh... You lost me there... I don't think it's as simple as that at all... Unfortunately I don't have much time to write, but I think things are more complex than that...

 

Well I'm new here so...lol...but I might as well.

A lot of girls I know considered "ugly duckling" have been approached by black men in the past. A lot of them didn't see them as a last resort, but as just normal people.

They may have been rejected by white guys because of the somewhat unrealistic beauty standards of white culture. But that doesn't mean that black guys are all they can get. It just means...God what am I trying to say. A girl who constantly gets approached by black guys and who is made to feel beautiful by black guys will eventually start seeking only black guys. I guarantee most of the women wouldn't go back to the same white guys who rejected them in the first place, even if they begged.

I'm 18 and a lot of white guys don't like how I look because I'm like 160lbs. and have black hair (yes guys around here are that shallow). But that doesn't mean I still don't have plenty of white people thinking I'm hot. I just don't fit into the Abercrombie type mold.

And I just like black guys...because I do. Not because I think I'm ugly or think white men wouldn't find me attractive. I'm not that complicated. lol

 

I can dig it. I'm kinda like that too, in that the women who show me the most love are the ones I gravitate to... I guess it's about bringing your assets to the market where they go the furthest...

I used to hang with a ww who told me she was fat when she was younger and showed me the pics to prove it. She was slim when she was dating me -- & she would have nothing to do with white men. A serial "men of color" dater, she was like the opposite of the ugly duckling, ready to date wm when she was fat, and rejecting wm once she slimmed down...

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Anyway, speaking of the "ugly duckling" syndrome, I remember reading on the internet one white guy observe that the sort of single women posting pictures at a certain infamous white supremacist site were all unattractive, overweight women "looking for a place to belong"... Hmmm...

 

Don't worry... some of us understood your intent all along. :lol:

 

In my area, most of the interracial couples I see are only black male/white female, and the woman is usually attractive, but I can only spot them during prime time hours.

 

I thought what you wrote in one of Iffy's Wifey's threads was pertaining to women in general, but maybe I am recalling it wrong. Go on.

Well, if you think about it, there IS SOME correlation, but it all depends on the white women and her individual motives. Now, if you aware of the UDS causing a white woman to believe that if she is 'not good enough for white men' that she would have to 'settle for black men' :roll: or any other color of men because she 'doesn't meet their deserving standards', but will (wait for it) ALWAYS be 'good enough' for a non-white man, then wouldn't you say that there is a bit of correlation there?

Tell me something I don't know. Truth is, there really are no nice guys, unless they are GAY. Not homophobic or being prejudice, but you gotta admit to that.

 

Good point.

 

It is not the fact these women can not "get" white men. They will be "getting" the "lesser" white man in comparison to black men. These women also place ridiculous standards on black men. It is quite assuming I must say. But, one has to wonder, if you have been chatted up by the "better" WM would you even consider dating "men of colour?" I do not think so, in fact, I guarantee it.

You complain white men have "unrealistic standards of beauty", but you NOTHING to change your condition and expect BM to handle all the dogma that comes with it. You see, since I am a "shallow pig" I would chase such a women down with my BMW M3, all the while promising her she will loose 7-12 pounds a week if we do it for 3-5 hours a day. By the end of the month, I will promise her she would loose at least 30 pounds with my exercise plan, and a dinner to the most expensive restaurant in Manhattan. If she stops, then I will run her fat arse over. It is that simple really.

 

7Seven, I respect your honesty.

First about my condition. I'm 5'9'' and I play basketball (running constantly) so I really ain't considered that fat, if at all. I'm just not thin. But I don't think I have a condition...my BMI is normal.

And hey, it's cool if you don't like fat women. That's your personal opinion. Running them over is a matter between you and the law. But hey, once again, to each his own.

But not everyone is like you...I swear to you. Some people wouldn't mind someone in my condition and the DOGMA. lol Some people truly like women over 130 lbs. (I don't mean obese) and wouldn't prefer them any other way.

And I have been chatted up by good white men. I have dated good white men too. I just like black men too...

There is a girl at school, typically gorgeous. Thin, blonde, drives a BMW (your perfect match?). She dates a black guy and really loves him. I think she would have loved him just the same if he was white.

Well I have my idealism and I know that theories aren't always foolproof.

But once again I thank you for your honesty and I think your diet plan just might catch on...but not here...lol.

 

I have an sensory mechanism to tell the harsh truth. But you are still young, only 18! And are prone to using excuses, especially for weight, have yet to experience adulthood and how ugly the world can be. So I will play nice with you.

But, this is how I would see it, if my workout plan does not work, I will give such a women half of my salary. Easy right? All they have to do is keep running from a madman in a M3 and you will loose 30 pounds in a month with a promise of dinner with an well refined man. Well, it is too damn bad Americans are lazy as bloody hell and would rather be hit by my M3. If I pointed a rifle at their fat arses, they would rather be shot, then to run. That is the problem with women that have Ugly Duckling Syndrome. They sick around all day complaining about their misfortunes instead of improving their self-worth. That is a bloke with horrible self-esteem. Busy men like myself do not have time to play shrink.

I do not see anything wrong with white men's standards of beauty, at least they are allowed to have standards without being ridiculed with shaming language. And oh........I do not care for blondes.........I prefer brunettes that are tall and skinny, and have a decent level of intellect, someone more cultured. Usually, blondes do not fall under that umbrella.

 

Okay your version of the truth amuses me lol but I like to argue and sense the same in you. All respectfully, of course.

And uh, yes I'm young. But I know how ugly the world can be. I see it everyday...living in Mississippi and West Virginia...so don't worry about playing nice with me. I really can't be hurt by words, especially ones over the internet.

Since I am one of those fat, lazy Americans let me ask you a quick question. How much should I weigh at 5'9''? Not that I particulary hold your opinion in esteem I'm just curious about one whose culture is so different than mine.

And I think if you pointed a rifle at a fat arse you might get more of a suprise than the martyrdom of laziness.

Also, I have no problem with you or anybody else having standards. You just have to realize they're not universal. What you find repulsive another man may find beautiful.

I drive an old Ford F150. If you ever need to lose a few pounds, come on down to Mississippi. If you outrun me, maybe we'll go to McDonalds...

lol. Sorry. Another harsh truth.