The Gifts That Santa Forgot

My Christmas Wish

Dear Santa,

Can you please bring poor Tiger some common sense or at the very least an incredible lawyer so his dumb ass isn't left with nothing.
After all he did earn all that money on his own.

Can you also bring Michelle Obama some lips. No black woman should ever suffer from muppet mouth yuck!

Can you bring us back to a time where Vampires and Werewolves don't rule pop culture. How about back to the mid 90s when Jordan was king and poor Brittany Murphy was still making Clueless. I'm going to miss her cute white ass.

Finally can you bring me Beyonce. Yes I know i've devoted my heart to white women but there are some women who's hottness just transcends race. If you can't bring me her because she's married to the greatest rapper of all time can I have Penny from Big Bang Theory. She actually makes me tingle by looking at her.



Your Friend,

Andrae