The "Black man" hero.

I don't sense any hoeism in her unless my hoeism sensors are being blocked by an emotion called false love.......

Am I in false love?

I don't even know my name right now........

 

Oh this doesn't sound good Frozen. She cried when you left to go home to check on something??? That's too much, to say the least. I understand the feeling in your chest, I really do but this girl is out of control. Yesterday she was crying over the last guy and today she's crying over you leaving. Is she on any drugs? I'm so sorry but you must be out of your ever lovin mind. You are thinking with the wrong head and it's connected to your heart. I'm thinking you have to be lusting after this woman. Why would she be so attached so soon? I know you've been around her for a while doing her favors and such but that alone should throw up lots of red flags. I hope I'm not making you mad because I know this isn't what you want to hear.

 

What should I do? I feel like it is my fault for setting her free, and now I feel it is my fault she is so needy and the way she is.

I told her we need to slow it down and we agreed but then we start getting intimate. I wish we could start as friends then progress......

Oh course I am not mad at you!

You can call me a dumb Mother F***ing N......wait you would not call me a N would you? I don't use the word but if you did I still wouldn't get mad.......

Please tell me what I don't want to hear. I need it.

 

I would NEVER call you the "n" word. We don't use it at my house and my kids aren't allowed to use it either. Every now and then I hear my husband say it to his friends and they say it to him a lot but, not much. It's not your fault. You didn't "set her free" so to speak. You gave her a reason to leave him alone. She must have a very low self esteem, which will happen when you are being abused. She obviously craves attention from men and that leads me to believe that maybe her father isn't around or doesn't pay her much mind. It is definitely not your fault she is needy, my guess is that she has always been that way. She feeds off of you showing her this attention, her boyfriend wasn't giving it to her. And since you've already had sex with her, slowing things down will be hard. You both know what is waiting and want it, bad. It's not like you can't have sex, just hold your heart back. Don't let your mind fill itself with thoughts of love and marriage just yet. Be her friend like you always have and keep the feelings of love to yourself and remember that you really aren't involved enough with her yet to actually have genuine love for her. I think you are lusting very hard after this girl. I think she will string you along as long as she can, as long as you let her. Don't worry, just because you buckled at the knee when she cried does not mean anything serious. It means you are a sucker for a woman in tears, lots of men are. My husband still hates to see me cry, but seems to say things to make that happen sometimes. You know that's another story. From the very beginning I would have questioned why this woman asks you to do these things for her when she has a man that should be doing it, not me. He is enjoying the benefits of having this girl yet I am doing all of his dirty work. Doesn't make any sense does it? Mowing her lawn and taking her to the store, I'd say bitch you better call your man, you must be crazy. I am no fool. You are too sweet to say something like that though, I know. I'll email you about it more later.

 

Oh, man Frozen Veins. You're in way over your head. This woman needs serious professional help and counselling in order to deal with her problems and that isn't you. It is one thing to be a supportive friend, but I think you've gone to deep because your thinking with your testosterone. I hope this doesn't offend you, but I think you've been "pussy-whupped". Instead of you accomplishing what you hope, I think instead she'll drag you down. As painful as it is, take a step back and distance yourself from this before you get hurt yourself.

 

I was J/K but good to hear other don't use the word.

That's a big problem, I can't have sex without getting some kind of emotional connection. Seeing her smile and when she tells me I make her happy and worth something, after wards. And when I get up out of bed how she caresses my arm like "Don't leave me.......please" She is like a little kitten, so inocent, seemingly harmless, her little voice. In bed she morphs into a sex kitten, with so much lust and passion.


I went on a date with her today, we had fun, but she stuck really close to me. I tested her out to see if she would help me with something and her reactions. Good part she passed, bad part she knew all along I was testing her..........I am really slick too. How she knew was beyond me.

I always ALWAYS said I would not fall for a girl like this and I always had drilled myself to know how to get out of it. Now I am trapped and everything including my ownself is against me.

I am a sucker for women in need. I am not a man if I don't help a women in need. Between to women crying for me I think I would end up dieng from splitting myself in half.

Well they haven't had sex in almost a half year because she refused to put out to him. He just came around to terrorize her and bully her. Frozen Veins comes in to do stuff for her. She gives frozen veins hard time emotionally, frozen plans to leave after she no sex him, then she sexs him, and provides what he needs, he becomes her man. But frozen feels that he is betraying himself............

Frozen needs to wake up, but he is confused what to do. She gives him and says the right stuff, Is she using frozen veins? And keeping him around with Amazing sex that makes him go crazy?

 

..........damn. I was hoping not but damn........

Does it really sound like she is controlling me? Everytime I take a step back she takes two steps forward before I finish my one step back.

 

I believe so, man. A woman knows when she's got you hooked. That's why she keeps pursuing you because she knows you're gonna wanna get some from her. You have to take your emotions out of it if you're gonna get this situation straight.

 

I completely agree with everything natedogg said. She knows she's got you hooked around her finger. This relationship just became physical a couple of days ago and she's already crying when you leave. That's nuts. :smt119 Nate is right, you are going to have to forget about the emotions on this one. Think about it for a minute. She lets her ex come around, not giving him sex which I think it total BS with a capital B, and beats her up and gets nothing out of the relationship. Seems strange, why not have him arrested or if you are bold enough to have another man in your bed, having sex, then why is she not bold enough to tell her ex to get on with his life? She doesn't fit the normal characteristics for the abused woman at all. It's weird, usually these women are afraid to tell other women about being beat let alone a man. The thought of getting close to another man is terrifying b/c you never know what your real man would do if he found out. I think Nate's got it on the head, she's fillling you full of BS. No man, especially at that age, is going to keep a woman around that is not doing anything for him. That's just stupid, and why did she keep him around??? You say you plan to leave when she quits giving you sex, is that what you want her for? You can't have her for just a f-buddy and that's b/c you have feelings for her. It will turn into more and she will suck you in. She acts like an innocent kitten b/c she knows you will do what she wants. Trust me, I'm a woman, this is a trait we all posess. Some are just better than others at it. My husband comes home from work and is tired but I want a serious sex session and he wants a quickie and sleep. I can make myself look gorgeous, put on my see through nightie, and BOOM :!: I got what I want, every time. Lots of men are like that. You said you feel trapped too. Don't ever feel trapped, even if married, you can always change your life. You are not at all trapped, this girl left her ex b/c she wanted too. You were a good friend that helped her get out of a bad situation. That doesn't mean you have to take her life on. It's not your problem she is the way she is. I had to come to that realization with my husband. That is within her, not you and you cannot fix it for her. I believe you, personally, can have sex without the emotional connection. You've had one night stands before right? You just had feelings for this girl before you had sex and that makes a difference. She will only cause you heartache and headache in the end. In this situation it's best to gather your balls up and swallow all emotions. I guarantee you if you ever break it off with her she will beg and plead and cry for you to change your mind. Tell you all kinds of things about how she needs you but step back again and think about it. How could this girl need you so much, you just got with her? You're right, she is a needy person and one of those woman that has to have a man around all the time. That is what I see from the outside looking in. I hope something calms your head.

 

Yeah she said she was just really high in emotion. And seeing her little face ball up and her eyes swell with tears...........it pulls me. I tried my best to resist but I ended up running over to her and console her.

My mother said she got me chained and she is controlling me. Dad says be a man and help her. I should sacrifice everything for her and if she steps on me and leave me I will just get hurt and move on making me stronger. Good men are never valued in this world and if I turn bad I would be in jail so I am stuck just being the hero then the step.............

ALL I WANT IS A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WHERE ME AND HER(Being the girl I am seeing or someone else tottally) WOULD BE GOOD TO EACH OTHER AND LOVE AND TRUST ONE ANOTHER.

Maybe she doesn't see me as a threat. Past my evil look I have a calming safe arrora around me.

Truthfully I just wanted her to return atleast something to me and she started to care for me emotionally, the sex is for both of us. Something we both share and give.

Just that the sex was so good it over shadows everything. No women ever took me and sexed me with such passion before.......

I call myself growing out of one night stands because of my flooding issues from my last one so I stopped chasing quick booties and start going for long distance booties. LOL

I am not sure if I enjoy her acting all needy or not. I had a long history of women who where halfway interested in me and it hurt seeing the girl you like not really care about you or wanted you around at all......

Like today she called me over just to snuggle and get really really close to me.

I think we both have problems to tell the truth, she is needy and I have strong desires to feel needed.

I have the type of spirit that would take a bullet to my heart just to make sure someone soda isn't ruined............

 

Look, Frozein Veins....I know you have the best intentions in the world of trying to help this girl. But once you got your emotions and hormones involved, you only became part of the madnees. It is hard work to get any good relationsip going where each person loves and respects the other, but this isn't the way to do it. You can't establish a good relationship when she hasn't resolved the issues with her other relationsip and closed that chapter on her life. In the heat of sex, one can feel like everything is perfect and the love is their. But if the madness continues after it, then it isn't legit. I love sex just like any man, but it is truly only best when you've formed that exclusive emotional and mental bond WITHOUT other parties being involved.

I feel sorry for you because your heart is good, but you haven't dealt with your own hurt that you've suffered fom past relationships. You can't help someone fix their issues when you haven't fixed your own. Get away from this madness and go get help for yourself. If not a professional, than an older couple who've been married for years who can give you a lot of advice on how to find wholesome relationships.

 

And what do they say "mother knows best". You are probably just like your father...it sounds that way. Good men are valued in this world. Don't ever forget that. It takes the right woman to value a right man. And I mean that with sincerity. Remember this--Your ultimate value will be acknowledged and appreciated by the right woman. You can't just pick any girl and give her your all. Your inner balance would be so much more even if you found a woman that was closer to your even-ness. This girl is like a teeter-totter (sp?).

Think about this, I am a very logical thinker. Of course she is high in emotion, she just left one man to get with another. And we're not even sure of that b/c you still have not answered that question. Has she told her bf/exbf?? You have certain feelings and emotions for one man and different feelings for another and you are torn between. It will make you emotional. On top of the fact that she's got her own personal issues obviously.

I know you do and you will get that. You are still so so young and have lots of time to find that person. I don't know that this girl will ever treat you the way you deserve to be treated. She's too needy and clingy. I personally can't stand clingy. That's why the man and I have had issues, he's clingy and I'm not. It takes times to find the person you feel is the right one and you are still very young to be so worried about that.

I don't think she see's you as a threat at all, more of a scape goat. I know past your evil look you are soft and sweet, I can tell. Big Sucker

BINGO! That's exactly what it is. "The sex was so good it over shadows everything". You said that and what does that tell you. It's good sex, I hate to break your heart but you can find good sex in numerous people. I've had a number of good sex partners that I wouldn't marry or have a long term relationship with. We had good chemistry sexually. When it was time to be done, we were done and that was it. There is a difference in good sex and emotional sex. Emotional sex can be good don't get me wrong but good sex does not have to be emotional.

Good deal and I hope you stick with it. There's nothing wrong with having a f-buddy or one nighters every now and then. You need to get that off, seriously! You will get tired of her clingy/needy attitude and when you do it will start to get on your nerves. I hope she feels something for you besides lust. Since you are only looking for long distance booties now, can you see this girl being your wife and having your children. Really try to picture it. What do you think?

 

She broke it off with him, he is officaily gone out of the picture. It's so hard to step back from her............so hard.....

She baked me a cake today...........

a cake.........




JUST LIKE I LIKE IT!

She is really pulling me hard and fast. And the bad part is that 78% of me is fooled by her. Even my body is used to her. My body and mind can sometimes get out of sync. litteraly as in my body getting angry but my mind isn't or my mind says "time to wake up" and my body says no I need sleep.

As retarted as it sounds and this is by no mean an excuse. I don't have 100% control of my ownself.

I wish I could just pull out but just like good sex with no condom (and no we aren't using any either for the record) I can't. She said she was on birth control and I believe her.

I agree 100% with what you are saying just that, putting it into action is harder.

 

WOW! WOW! WOW! Hold the fort......slow down......did I just hear you say "she said she was on the pill and I believe her"? Come here so I can slap the shit out of you :!: :!: :evil: :evil: :!: Isn't that the first lesson a father teaches his son, when she says she's on birth control, use protection anyway??? When my sons are getting to that age, believe me I'll be all in their business and with condoms. If you don't want kids right now, you better strap up babe :!:

 

Your right and I agree, but she makes me feel(Not on purpose) that if I leave she will go down hill and she needs and values me. She said that I am good for her and I make her feel like a women. This is a good if not the best compliment that I have recieved. And she makes me feel like I should stay by saying she doesn't deserve me.

She confuses me so and I told her that she confuses me. She started getting sad when I said that we should take it slower and resolve our problems. She agreed but like 15 mins later she had seduced me and sweet talked me and bam I am under the covers with her again(After the cake)

Went to the mall for awhile brought some stuff. She wanted to use her own money and I did let her buy something herself to see if she would get pissed but she didn't and I ended up buying her the rest of her outfits.

Yeah he is gone......and he is with his pregnant girlfriend who he says is better than the girl I am with. We got that solved.

She is really clingy and I am tolerant of clingyness. My last girlfriend was the totoal oposite of clingy, she was so independent and talked about how she doesn't need me so I got tired, said okay and left.(plus some other stuff).

I kinda went from, "I don't want you around now and I really don't care because I am strong and independent, I am doing you the favor" to "Please be around to protect me 100%, I need your attention 100%, I depend on you and you are my rock, you are doing me the favor and I will do anything so you just stay with me, I am so cold..........."

I am naturally pulled by the second and I guess that is why I call this one better than the last because of my nature.

Mother said she is feeding my wounds not nescicarly(Sp) opening them nor helping them heal.

Yes am a sucker for the damsal in destress type.

True.............but............geez I don't know......

I can't because my mind will play a simple, stress free and loving future but that isn't right or truthful thinking. Her having my kids?.....................

Nope can't imagine me with kids already.............

 

Frozen,

This is the problem - A relationship should not be built around the fact that if you leave she will go down hill. A relationship should be equal and built on trust, love, care and attraction (and numerous other similar things). And furthermore, she should feel like a woman regardless of you. It is not your job to make her ok, it is her job to make her ok.

I can only reiterate what everyone else has said. I think, from what you have said, that this will not end well.

Don't let a child come out of this relationship, please. Be more careful. Imagine the worse case scenario, then think about wether you're happy with that and prepared for that. If not, then make some changes. Number 1 would be use protection. Would you want this lady to be the mother of your child? Think about the kind of person you dream about being, and truely ask yourself if this lady fits in your picture.

I hope you find something more important that temporary happiness (or great sex) - contentedness and satisfaction. Best of luck with the situation!

 

Dude you are in serious trouble. This woman is setting you up big time. She seems way off balance and I have this feeling she's going to get preg on purpose to keep you around. Run run run with the wind and get away from her ASAP!!!

 

:shock: :smt119 She needs to learn to stand on her own feet. I don't think she values you at all. She is confusing good sex with feeling like a woman. Only she can make herself feel like a woman. Men don't do that for you. I know this is going to be harsh but gather up the balls because what I'm about to say is not nice but I have to.............. You are acting like a pussy whipped 15 yr old that is being taken advantage of by her 18 yr old boyfriend. This chick must take you for a fool and you are letting her do this. She say's she doesn't deserve you b/c she knows she really doesn't. You deserve someone much better than this. It sounds like she is already playing head games with you. Why would you say that to someone you just started seeing??? Why would you pull the "crying act" when he tried to leave when you just got together??? And you eat it up like a baby. I'm sorry, don't be mad. 8) Keep it cool.

You said she agreed to take it slow and 15 min's later she was seducing you. Buckle your dick down and stay strong. Women are going to be coming at you all of your life. What happens when you do get married and another, more attractive woman throws herself at you? Are you going to collapse like a wet noodle or will you be able to stand your ground and say "no". If she cries, she'll get over it if she has respect for you. She'll also respect your wishes and say "ok". You can't act like a school boy every time a woman shows you some interest or cries.

You're going about this all wrong. Why would she get mad about having to buy her own stuff??? Just because you are a couple now doesn't mean you have to buy everything for her and support her. She is playing you for a fool and using you. That is how you treat men like that, as long as you bend over for them or spread your legs, they will do whatever you want. She knows you will do whatever she asks and she has already started using that.

You should've even have been involved in that. This woman/girl needs to handle that kind of business on her own. She is going to continue using as long as you continue giving. She must be young, I would not dream of having the man I've been cheating with there when I dump my boyfriend. I know he has done her dirty but like the old saying goes, 2 wrongs don't make it right.

Your mom is right, that's hard. From what you say, it sounds to me like you are not really sure what you want either. It takes time as a grown up, you have to live as an adult a little before you can truly decide what you want. I was that way. I know now, I need a strong, not clingy man with plenty of attention for me. I don't want to be smothered and there are numerous other things. My point is, I've had what I don't want and now know what I do want. If you are a strong enough man, you can do what you need to do for yourself. You're right, saying things like "i don't have 100% control of my body" is bullshit. You are the only one that has that control over you. Just be careful and think before you go spending all of this money and time.

 

:shock: :smt119 She needs to learn to stand on her own feet. I don't think she values you at all. She is confusing good sex with feeling like a woman. Only she can make herself feel like a woman. Men don't do that for you. I know this is going to be harsh but gather up the balls because what I'm about to say is not nice but I have to.............. You are acting like a pussy whipped 15 yr old that is being taken advantage of by her 18 yr old boyfriend. This chick must take you for a fool and you are letting her do this. She say's she doesn't deserve you b/c she knows she really doesn't. You deserve someone much better than this. It sounds like she is already playing head games with you. Why would you say that to someone you just started seeing??? Why would you pull the "crying act" when he tried to leave when you just got together??? And you eat it up like a baby. I'm sorry, don't be mad. 8) Keep it cool.

You said she agreed to take it slow and 15 min's later she was seducing you. Buckle your dick down and stay strong. Women are going to be coming at you all of your life. What happens when you do get married and another, more attractive woman throws herself at you? Are you going to collapse like a wet noodle or will you be able to stand your ground and say "no". If she cries, she'll get over it if she has respect for you. She'll also respect your wishes and say "ok". You can't act like a school boy every time a woman shows you some interest or cries.

You're going about this all wrong. Why would she get mad about having to buy her own stuff??? Just because you are a couple now doesn't mean you have to buy everything for her and support her. She is playing you for a fool and using you. That is how you treat men like that, as long as you bend over for them or spread your legs, they will do whatever you want. She knows you will do whatever she asks and she has already started using that.

You should've even have been involved in that. This woman/girl needs to handle that kind of business on her own. She is going to continue using as long as you continue giving. She must be young, I would not dream of having the man I've been cheating with there when I dump my boyfriend. I know he has done her dirty but like the old saying goes, 2 wrongs don't make it right.

Your mom is right, that's hard. From what you say, it sounds to me like you are not really sure what you want either. It takes time as a grown up, you have to live as an adult a little before you can truly decide what you want. I was that way. I know now, I need a strong, not clingy man with plenty of attention for me. I don't want to be smothered and there are numerous other things. My point is, I've had what I don't want and now know what I do want. If you are a strong enough man, you can do what you need to do for yourself. You're right, saying things like "i don't have 100% control of my body" is bullshit. You are the only one that has that control over you. Just be careful and think before you go spending all of this money and time.

 

When I said "we" I meant as we got it clear that she isn't with him or has any ties with him.

Other than that....

You all got me whipped.

And I hope you aren't getting upset JasieS, I got your e-mail and I have no problem with it. :wink:

I just know that this whole problem is my fault anyway. I think this is 100% my problem and now I have to deal with what I got into. You reap what you sow.

As for the condom thing, she actually discourages the use of it. Now that I think of it.........it is a bit strange. Just that the..........gah......there is no excuse.

I wish it was as easy as jumping up and running but.............




She got me good.........really good......... :x :evil:

Two problems feeding the desires of each other, like drugs the frozen one runs through his veins. He tries to escape but his legs don't respond. His hands presents himself to the great dragon to be devoured. In sorrow and pain he will reside as had onlookers forewarned him the path of which he tread.

It's so wrong but it feels good, like honey she seduces him and after many love expressions, the fter affects are like wormwood, bitter and the armor of morals has become like the cheese of swiss......into the holes more problems come from the current world thus feeding to the cries chaos current through out.........