The Beauty of IR

OK substitute risks for consequences /challenges (only used to the term risk in reference to an old gl post )
Like I explained most families and friends don't support you the same way. People aren't as likely to gush at the sight of you the same way they do same race couples. Maybe it's totally different and just rad in California dude but look outside your own situation. Did you watch the videos? Like I said it would be so much easier to date within your race for most people this shit ain't easy. I've had girlfriends who were a wreck for months because they were disowned for who they chose to love that wouldn't happen if they stuck with white guys. And you can't compare it to being gay at all. I can choose to date bw to make my life easier they can't choose to date women.

 

That's specifically why I compared the two though because regardless of how hard the relationship may be, love is love imo. None is greater than another.

And what you describe with previous girlfriends, I've never seen ANY of my friends go through. Like I said before, I can appreciate that it still happens...sometimes, some places. Just because you have to fight for your relationship doesn't make your love any different. May make your relationship stringer in the long run, but the love that brought you two together is the same.

 

Well we can agree to disagree cause I simply don't see it that way. Maybe if you lived through some of the bs you'd get it. But whaevs.

 

I agree with TDK (oh, look at that - it's snowing in September) that white women still do sometimes face unpleasant consequences of their decision to date outside their race. I think it's probably more common for older women than younger women because younger generations are becoming more familiar with diversity both in the workplace and socially, but for older generations, they just don't get it. Watching their children do something that for them was totally unacceptable is hard and it does create rifts.

I have a friend who had a relationship with a bm. No one but me knew. It was one of the most incredible experiences she had but neither were wiling to go public with it. Her dad would've disowned her. And this was when she was in her 40's. She didn't need her dad but didn't want to destroy her relationship with him. Even now, she won't venture back to IR even though she gets attention from bm online. She's too afraid of what people will think. (Father, brother, son.)

 

That's an incredibly sad way to live life. She's turning a blind eye to her own happiness just to appease the horribly narrow minds of others. Very sad.

 

Life experiences definitely change one's viewpoints. I think this conversation changes generationally and maybe a bit regionally. Our age though...I don't believe the majority of ww are persecuted for IR dating. Every generation, BM get the brunt of it.

 

The trust fund is a literal and figure of speech for women getting kicked out of the family /alienated from the family.

I have said before if u date a ww be aware that they have risks too.

http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Was-Disowned-By-My-Family/326371

http://inamerica.blogs.cnn.com/2011/12/07/love-and-racism-in-2011-hes-black-im-white-im-hurting/

 

We can say that with ease but remember i just posted two threads where ww are catching gell for dating bm and we talked about a white girl for taking a beat down from dad for dating a black boy.

How about the bs she takes if she has a biracial child and the father may have died and the crazy people may act toward her cause they realize the child is biracial . People are just nasty no matter what.

 

Yeah i get what u are saying.

i never been raped but i can imagine it will mess with your head for a long time. So saying that i try to view things from their perspective and try to understand

 

I never said it doesn't happen. I said those stories are the minority. I can't even count the number of ww in my life who date and/or married interracially and none of them have been beaten or expelled from families, etc. My entire 34 years of experience can't just be a fluke lol. I can acknowledge that some ww may struggle though. You have to have some thickness to your skin to do anything that's perceived "out of the norm". I've never been the one to live my life trying to appease others so "the struggle" has never affected me. If people (including family) don't like my partner because his skin differs in color from mine...fuck em. Dead serious. I won't have that type around my children nor do I need to have that negativity in my life.

 

I got u.

Yeah. anytime someone get into an ir better be ready for the racism.

Tv celebrity tamera from the show "sister sister" caught hell for marrying a white man.

http://m.eonline.com/news/498291/ta...net-racism-about-her-marriage-to-adam-housley

 

You are younger and live in a very progressive and liberal state.

 

Sad part about it is her dad is white

 

Its crazy all the way around

 

You also started the path really early in life it's all you know
And you like on the side of the country where there are fewer "ethnic" whites trying to preserve something. Jews, Italians, Albanians etc are always trying to preserve their heritage so when their little princess messes it up with a black its very unnerving also couple that with living in the suburbs where most of these girls live for family acceptance and only really dabble with the black guy thing in college before racing back to be in their parent's good graces.
It's crazy shit kid

 

I do understand there are some who have experienced racism and hate for dating interracially. I started dating (if you want to call it that) interracially when I was a junior in HS. Back then I received flack from my parents as well as my peers, though my peers weren't my friends. The black girls didn't like me and the white girls didn't associate much with me. Suddenly, I didn't really fit in with most crowds but I didn't care. My boyfriend and his friends and family liked me and I had a lot of black male friends, as well as other white female "friends" who also dated black guys. A handful of the white females who dated black guys didn't relate to me because I never tried to be different in order to fit in, as some of them did.

Later when I met my kids father, I remember telling my father that I liked him and his first question wasn't "how does he treat you?" or "what kind of person is he?" it was "is he black?"

A few years later, our son was born. We unfortunately experienced the tragedy of losing our child to SIDS, and a few days after he passed I remember going downstairs to take out the trash and someone had written "n***** lover baby killer" on the hood of my car.

So I do understand the difficulties and uncomfortability others have with dating interracially and how they made me feel.

I never once changed my beliefs or myself. I have always tried to see the world through rose colored glasses, trying not to allow the negativity and ugly ways of the world that shape and define others negative connotations and beliefs. Sadly, there will always be racism. I believe racism is taught and therefore no matter how beautiful the people or their bond may be, no matter how their love could create a beautiful biracial child, there will always be people who cannot understand and who don't approve.

 

Damn I feel really close to you right now. Thanks for sharing :freehug:
Sorry about the loss of your child. Can't believe some dick bag would write something like that. Seriously wtf is wrong with some people

 

Wackos

 

This is just a sad story. I'm sorry you lost your baby, Cherok. And that you suffered more with the disturbing graffiti. It was very sobering to read this. :freehug:

 

Thanks

Yes. People are cruel and have no idea the impact some of their actions or statements make during a personal tragedy.