The author Pearl Jr. here!!!

Since I kept seeing this site as a referral to my site, I decided to check out what you all were discussing about my article. First I'd like to clear up a few of your over negative predictions of who I am.

I have a very wonderful man who loves, honors and cherishes me. He is a Black man who once dated many White women. He no longer does because he's with me.

He is not rich nor does he drive a fancy car.

I'm not so shallow to judge all my reasons based solely on skin color and hair texture.

I do believe that Black women should date whatever type of man they can find because the problem with the Black community is the lack of positive Black male participation and Black male abandonment. Therefore any type of man, who can provide and protect the community is O.K. with me.

I'm an activist who has chosen to dedicate my life to the upward mobility of Black people and that would also include your bi-racial children.

I do realize that no one can please all the people all the time, but I'm trying to get more Black men to be responsible.

Black men with non-Black women is a serious issue but is not the only issue that is hurting the Black community.

The breakdown of the family is our biggest issue because we have a weak foundation and ask any architect, without a strong foundation every single structure will fall.

Also, there were some really smart and open minded men here who took some responsibility for the real and the true. There was only one idiot in the bunch who took it personally instead of thinking it through and labeled me Hitler--come on, did your White girlfriend use that line and you bought that ignorant parallel.

All that I'm saying guys is that we, as a race, are failing miserably and we NEED you more than we ever did before. You are a different man than in the slave days, you do have power to make positive change for yourself and your off springs.

One pathetic comment was this one Black guy was pleading to White women by saying how wonderful he would treat his woman. Doesn't he think Black women want that too? We are girls too!

I think too many Black men who date outside the race do have some serious issues with their Blackness and are trying to run as fast and as far as they can from their responsibility and the stereotype. If he could turn his skin white he would.

The biggest problem with the Black race is the irresponsible Black male. I'm sorry guys but that is the truth. Black single mothers, too many fatherless homes, too many incarcerated, too many uneducated, etc.

How can the few good ones that are Black abandon the Black community. You are slapping MLK and Malcolm X in the face when you don't live up to the idea of the dream that they died for, which is equality, and not just Black and White people playing together, but really and truly living equally.

Equality will never be obtained as long as the racial divide based on income, status, and class are segregated by race. To make an equal society, we need to concentrate on ourselves first and then when that is achieved, then date who the hell ever you want to.

Racism is unnatural. It was made up by White people. But the responsibility to fix the matter lies in the hands of each one of us.

One Black man once told me that our problem is that we are in love with our enemy. Could that be true??

Black men we need you! It's just that simple.

Much love to you my brothas,

Pearl Jr.

I'm not just an author--I'm an activist!

 

:idea: Pearl jr.>Let me just say that it took some courage to come on this board and post your point of view as to where you're coming from. I applaud you for that and I'll just leave it there and let others respond to your post. Take care.

 

Yeah, you are as smart as the people who propagate similar nonsense like "fight for peace" and "fuck for virginity".
:roll: :roll:

 

1. How can you link who you like/or love to the notion of duty and responsability? What do they have in common? Aren't we as people free at least in the matter of who we love and live our lifes with?

2. Why isnt it obvious to you that IF A MAN or A WOMAN has a sense of responsability and wants to help his race or any disatvantaged group, they WILL DO IT even if they are married to a white woman, and if they don't care, they will not take any action even if they are married to a black woman? How does dating or liking WW stop you as a BM to contribute to organizations that help the blacks, or do whatever you want for your community? Only by not bringing your paycheck to the black woman but you bring it to the WW.......(sorry, but this is dumb, it only helps that very woman, not the community, and why can't a woman, white or black, stand on her own two feet financially, afterall), and only by not bringing black babies to the world but bi-racial ones?

3. you speak of ending the racism but then say people who love another race are loving the enemy? Aren't you OBVIOUSLY perpetuating racism and segregation FOREVER? Since you are drowning with racism and you will forever see white people as the enemy, I will never, ever listen to anything people like you say, even though your observation with the black family being in trouble do to lack of responsability I think is a valid one, but even that, why don't you black women raise your men better and teach them the thuggish way of life is not the way to live, and why do you black women pop out babies to men who are obviously irresponsable and don't care to marry you and stand by your side, but then you complain when he leaves?

4. just curious what you'd do if one day your lovely daughter would come home saying she's in love "with the enemy". I bet you'd care for her happiness first and foremost, if you're a woman of any common sense at all that is.

 

Silver......you're hilarious :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

Are you just here to say that or will you post regularly?

We are all very smart and open people here with no judgements or fears....

Some of us are open for great debate based on logic and reason....

Have fun.

Question for you:
In your view, can a black man have a white wife/girlfriend and still be a positive force in the black American community?

 

Oh, and what Hitler was promoting was the white race, more exactly the Arian people perpetuate the pure race, so not mixing with other races but procreate and perpetuate the Arian race out of a sense of pride and duty for their community. SO the only difference between you and Hitler is that you haven't said (yet :roll: ) kill the other races.
I'd suggest you overcome your ignorance and BS. Your thesis are so pathetic and full of shit that dont even deserve anyone's time or attention, therefor i have now ended any comment or response to you.

 

I am sorry...
One more question for you:

Not that this really matters but I would like to know a little about your educational background.
Are your ideas based on any clinical research [yourself or others]?
Is it a mix of personal experiences and research?
????

Again, not that it matters but I have found that some people will react out of fear and pain [sometimes guilt] so some of the things they'll base their ideals on will come from an emotional place without much logic and reason.

Not that emotions are bad or logic is superior....
It's just that I've found in open forums, people will often shutdown any thoughts of real discussion and fall back on cliquish, clannish and territorial behavior which, needless to say is the end of a real open forum.

If you are still out there, I look forward to your reply.

 

I hate to keep doing this but this is the last one:

I got this from your web site:
Women Need Love, too!" focuses on what's in the best interest of Black women, which is not White
women with Black men. But to the contrary, Pearl Jr. explains why she believes that Black women should look
outside of the Black race for a mate who is willing to provide and protect the Black women.

You can't have a problem with IR relationships if you believe black women should look outside of the black race of a mate. Right?
But I'm not sure I understand the part about black men and white women. Could you clarify that part for me?
It just takes me back to my first question....

 

Pearl, yes BW need love too, but you must understand that these particular BM "cannot" love us. From what I've learned plenty of them make a huge effort to purposely deny us the same humanity they so willingly bestow on any woman as long as she's not black. Some WW recognize that these BM will pass up any and all BW but have no problem stooping for the lowest of nonblack women as a way to distinguish themselves. Since more of us are now aware of the importance of reaching back to shore up black girls for what they will most certainly have to face in the coming years, I don't think we should remotely consider trying to appeal to BM who "cannot and will not" see BW as equal to all women. It won't work. If you truly understood how crucial nonblack women are to the self-worth and image of certain BM you'd know that "community" does not enter their realm of consciousness. They have the same mentality as the 40 Million Dollar Slaves.

40 Million Dollar Slaves The Rise Fall and Redemption of the Black Athlete (Hardcover, 2006) Author: William Rhoden

Many of these men and women are downright giddy at the thought of BW hurting and pining for BM. In my opinion, the best way to remove these feelings is to fully accept that some BM "cannot" love us and do not care what is happening to the black community. Also many of them are abandoning WW and their biracial children as well so they will soon be in the same boat with other women who fell into those traps. As quiet as it's kept all is not well in the white community and pretty soon they won't be in a position to comment on the ills in our community because they'll be much worse in their own. They have soaring divorce rates and domestic abuse, illegitmate births and crystal meth is kicking ass and taking names from coast to coast.

 

Remember what you wrote in this article:

"Due to the alarming trend of too many Black men abandoning their racial responsibilities in regards to being the provider and the protector of the Black race family, I have vowed to NOT purchase any products by any Black man that is currently spending my money on making sure his non-Black wife/woman lives comfortably."

This is what husbands do. They spend money on their wives.

"Picture this—the non-Black wives of the few Black millionaires that exist have the best of everything: big house in a gated community, a Mercedes or BMW of her choice, Nanny for their children, much travel and leisure time (jet-setting), no job or income, while the majority of Black women are struggling to pay bills, being the mother and father to her children, attending college so to be the breadwinner, looked upon as the angry Black woman because she is too overwhelmed to be a shrinking violet, and most importantly looked upon as if she is some kind of supernatural he/she man that doesn’t need any acknowledgement of her pains and struggles. "

First of all, most blacks are middle class, not poor. Also, women of all races experience economic hardship. And these millionaires do this while white families live in trailer parks. We were poor early in my life. But my mother was never the angry black woman.

"The Black race is in serious trouble and we can’t afford to have one more sell-out abandoning Black male turn his back on his racial responsibilities without the consequence of losing my Black dollars that support him. Tina Turner had it right, “What’s Love Got To Do With It” when it hurts so badly. Black men with resources mated up with non-Black women will continue the devaluing of Black females, which is connected to lowering the recycling of Black dollars and the abandonment of support for Black organizations...As I pondered about telling the truth about a few high profile powerful Black men, I realized that I pay their bills and they don’t pay mine. I am no longer supporting them either by watching them on TV or in movies, buying their records, supporting any products they promote, or contributing anything to someone who doesn’t care about my feelings or my plight as a Black woman, which inevitably includes their own Black daughters."

Have you forgotten the black heroes who were married to or dating white women? People like Frederick Douglas, people like Huey Newton (yes, those black panther heroes seemed to have a liking for white women)? It is a huge mistake to say that people who date or marry outside of their race are not giving back to the community. A lot of people (rich people included) of both genders who are married black don't give back to the community. What about Oprah? What about all of these male stars who are married to black women? They aren't giving back. P Diddy likes to date women of other races. Russel Simmons was married to an Asian lady. But they have done more for the black community that a lot of those who are married to black women.

"Tiger “Cablasian” Woods married a White nanny. Now, we all know if a Black female nanny was just as beautiful as that White woman, he would have never given her a chance. A sistah would need to have a couple of MBA’s, Ph.d’s, MD’s and a trust fund to even be considered. My bad! Nothing would probably help because his words tell me he HATES his Blackness."

Now you are just making assumptions.

"Furthermore, I heard Charles Barkley bragging about him and his White wife hanging with Tiger and his White wife, and Tony Parker with his non-Black girlfriend, Eva Longoria, at a golf course having a wonderful time pretending racism doesn’t exist because they are interracially loving. But in reality their cult to dismiss Black women is the newest form of racism. Do you think these non-Black women want any sistahs around reminding Black men that we need them and their resources because we are dying without them? Hell No! Further influencing these men to pretend Black women and Black race issues are irrelevant in their lives by telling them that race doesn’t matter and they are so glad that racism is over. "

People can't have a good time!? And just because they are dating white women, they are dismissing black women? This is nuts!

"This integration reality isn’t the dream that Martin Luther King, Jr. prayed for. One of the biggest reasons that the acceptance and the promotion of Black men with non-Black women is because it re- enforces the belief that Black women are only "f*ckable" and not "loveable", which means that an exuberant number of Black children will have a hard road to tow in life because of the reluctant or missing father/role model."

90% of black men are still married to black women. Some people have the opinion that black men think it is the other way around, that white women are only fuckable and that black women are lovable. Also, keep in mind that men are like this in general. Men love to fuck. Men will fuck anything that has only two legs (and not three).

You focus way too much on black men who date white women. But that's not where the problems of blacks lie. It is a mistake to assume that black men who are only dating black women will better the race. The irresponsible black men (not including the millionaires who can play all day) are not the ones dating outside their race. The irresponsible ones are selling crack, making babies and running, dropping out of school, commiting hineous crimes against other blacks, etc. And most of these date/marry black women.

 

Lexington,
I would love to talk to you over a cup of coffee. I think it would be entertaining for both of us. First, I doubt Pearljr will ever return to this board. An activist, regardless of the cause, stirs the pot and then sits back and watches it boil over. It's their nature. I dare her to prove me wrong. The concept that we have to strengthen the black community until it's strong and then we can date whoever the hell we want is ridiculous. It proves what many brothers on this site have been saying in almost every post - many bw have an agenda.

Listen, I would love to find a woman who loves me genuinely without any hesitation or reservation. Although my preference is for ww if a bw showed me she could love me this way, I'd marry her in a heart beat. I am not afraid to love a bw, I just don't feel it is my duty to love a bw. If your only reason for loving bm is your self-imposed obligation to the black race, then I feel sorry for the brother that is being used by you. As far as seeing bw as equals, come on don't you think you are taking things to the extreme? Are you really going to suggest that I view ww on a higher plane than bw? I prefer ww. I also prefer strawberry over vanilla ice cream. That doesn't mean I think vanilla is inferior. Lighten up! We all have had experiences with the opposite sex that shape our stereotypes and preferences. None of us want to get burned again. I won't lie, ww are more forward with me and have no problem making it clear that they are interested. Maybe that has made me soft or dependant on the woman to make the first move. So be it. If a black woman approached me and reached out to me, I really believe I would respond. Not because of my social responsibility but because I'd see her as a potential mate. She's not my preference but that doesn't mean I would cast her to the side.

All many of us are saying, (I speak only for myself and my interpretation of other's posts) is that regardless of who we choose to love we are motivated by selfish reasons and not social pressure. I will not love anyone because I'm being forced to or because I feel a sense of duty to. How does a bw benefit from my love if she is not the driving force behind it? I will not take the burden or blame for the fall of the black race. Instead of black men being the cause why don't we blame individual black people? Why don't we stop forcing our children to look for "black" role models and accept positive role models. Why can't a white doctor or Science teacher inspire a young black child to study medicine? As a black English teacher I have motivated many kids, of all races, to write and write well. I take pride in the fact that these kids don't identify me as a black man but as a male teacher - and a damn good one.

Lexington, I just wish for once I could be seen as more than black. I'm sick of it. My race doesn't identify me, I identify me. It is through my accomplishments and my failures that I show the world who I am. I'm sick of being just a black man. I am a man first. I will love passionately because it is my nature. I will love a woman passionately because she loves me the same way.
just my 2 Lincolns.

 

She calls her site Black Women Need Love Too... and I think to myself just like most of the other men in here, well, why don't black women like YOU learn to act like you need love, as well as want it, and learn to give it back instead of just 'needing' it all the time?

This bitch also has the nerve to say that she already has a man, but is still moaning and bitching about the so-called plight of black women with black men in America at the same time. Activist my ass. More like a separtist to me.

 

Well I'm not going to call her a bitch, but i do believe that she is trying to sell her worthless book by creating controversy. If she was really concerned about the black community she would be giving her advise away for free. I also am tired if being the cause of whats wrong with black america. How about some personal responsibility? How about teaching black women to pick the right men and stop having babies with knuckleheads. What about birth control? I can only speak for myself, but life is too short for me to have that burden of saving the black community on my shoulders.

 

I understand what you are saying.
Here's how I see saving the black community:
Not doing those things that the “knuckleheads” are doing like selling drugs, beating women, having multiple babies when you have no resources or desire to take care of them. That is a very large part of it because the problems in the black community stem from those very things.

I don't see how anyone could say you're part of the problem if you don't fall into the “knucklehead” mode.
If you show me a hard working black man with a white woman and you show me a “baby's daddy- dealer” I'll show you the real problem.

 

What you guys mentioned about the "knuckleheads" is a big problem within the American black communities, but where is the correlation with Interracial Dating amongst black men and white women in that? I'd like to see if this PearlJr can figure that one out.

 

Tmass, the biggest conflict I see in everything you post is that you, too, are guilty of perpetuating the one thing you crave the most for yourself. You really don't see BW as more than black yet wish you didn't have the same problem. No matter how many failed relationships you go through with WW hopes still springs eternal where they are concerned...doesn't it?

Being that WW are your preference one of the worst things you can do is to settle for an unsuspecting BW. If you ever had a modicum of feelings for BW you would remain where you belong. I do think that some BM are balanced and can truly love and view all women as equals...but not in all cases and certainly not yours.

 

Lexington,
I vehemently disagree with your observation. Am I, or anyone for that matter, not entitled to have a preference? If the only reason you refuse to date wm (I’m speculating) is because of your social responsibility then I feel sorry for you. I didn’t leave black women because of some negative experience with black women. Hell, I didn’t leave black women at all. I have a preference for white women. I think that is the point you are missing. A preference is merely a 1st choice not an absolute. I conceded that if I found a black woman that I liked, despite my preference, I would date her. I would date her because of who she is and not because Jesse, Al, or Tavis said I should to uplift the race.

I don’t belong anywhere. I take so much offense to your posts mostly because I happen to be the father of a bi-racial child. I can only imagine (again I’m speculating) that you would suggest that I raise him as a black man. I won’t. I will not! I will raise him to be a proud man. A man of integrity, a man of honor, and man of moral value. I will teach him to treat everyone with respect unless the individual person proves themselves unworthy. I will teach him to pledge allegiance to himself and those that he chooses to befriend. I will not burden him with the social consciousness of being a black man. He’s not. He is bi-racial. He has very strong German and Norwegian roots that he should be proud of. I don’t care that society sees him as a black. As long as he has a sense of self, it won’t matter.

At the moment I am single. I am single by choice. I don’t blame a group of women for the crimes of others. Nor do I force the woman that I’m dating to take responsibility for the way past women treated me. I date all types of women, white, black, Hispanic, Asian, short, tall, fat, small, blind, dumb, cripple and crazy. I like who likes me. Out of the above group, I prefer white women. It’s just a preference. I look at the individual but there are certain things that catch my eye. I’m sure you have your preferences as well, tall, dark and handsome maybe? Well what if a short, light and not-so-handsome guy swept you off your feet? Would you be a traitor to the men that you prefer? Would you be a traitor to the men that you didn’t choose? I think not. You would be (wait for it) happy!! You would be happy because although he wasn’t your first choice, something about him made you set aside your preferences and give him a shot. Unfortunately for you, this guy would never have a chance with you and you will have to settle for the small group of men that fit into your dating and political criteria. Look at this way, your man may not be the greatest but at least he’s socially responsible.

 

Where is Pearl Jr.?

I really do want to hear what she thinks about all of this.
I mean we [the people on this site] are all different and we have different views and reasons for being here so I wonder what she thinks.

We are real black men [not Hollywood or Sports Stars – I don't think], we all seem to have at least a reasonable degree of education and steady jobs [although I wonder about you brothers that post in the middle of the day when you should be in school or working – joke].

This could be a great opportunity for us to reach some measure of understanding and respect.
That's not a joke. I mean that.

 

:idea: I think she'll be back after a few more NUKES drop from our fellow board members. :wink: