Taye Diggs - "I was hurt when black women dissed me"

http://www.voice-online.co.uk/content.php?show=17753

WE may well be in 2010, but for some, the business of interracial relationships remains as taboo and controversial as it was decades ago. Taye Diggs knows this all too well. The US actor and renowned sex symbol has been the subject of much discussion and some criticism in numerous blogs and articles, as a result of being married to white actress, Idina Menzel.

The couple, who have been together for 15 years, married in 2003 and had their first child last year, yet there are those – black women specifically – who still take issue with the Hollywood hunk’s choice of partner. “You know… I understand,” Diggs says with a thoughtful expression on his face. “It’s a situation that’s unfortunate, but at the same time, being a black man, I understand. I understand the idea of having something that you call your own, and

how it could feel when a member of your clan, so to speak, chooses to be with someone from another clan. I get how that could make someone feel rejected.

“But that being said, I can’t tolerate that because it’s 2010 and I don’t have time for that. When I was younger I did get caught up with that. When I was growing up, there were guys who dated everybody, there were guys that only dated black girls, and there were guys who only dated white girls. Back then, I used to judge the black guys that only dated white girls and for so long, I wanted people to know, I’m not one of those guys.

“But as I got older, I realised what the important things in life are. I can’t worry about changing the way that people see me. If you like me, you like me, if you don’t, you don’t. And luckily, I’ve been just fine, you know what I mean? I think people are becoming more understanding.

Once people realise that this is a real relationship and that I’m not with my wife because she’s white, but because she’s a wonderful person, all

that other stuff falls by the wayside.”

STILL, Diggs admits that his relationship hasn’t been entirely plain-sailing, thanks to the negativity of some people.

“I won’t pretend [race] wasn’t an issue, because it was. We’ve had to deal with situations in the past where black women would give her attitude or not acknowledge her, and you’ve gotta nip that s**t in the bud. But for the most part, people have been really positive and I’m proud of that.”

Admitting that he too was once judgemental about interracial relationships, the 39-year-old says that maturity changed his views. “The older you get, the

more you know,” says the star, best known for his roles in the films How Stella Got Her Groove Back and The Best Man. “Different things become important to you. And in many cases, when people have those issues, very rarely can someone change their opinions. The person with those issues has to change from the inside. After constantly banging my head against a brick wall, I realised that you just can’t please everybody.

It did bother me for a long time. I mean, us actors, we wanna be loved by everybody. So it did hurt my feelings, especially when it was black women [shunning me] – my mother’s a black woman. But you can only be who you are and be proud of that and just brush the other stuff off.”

It seemed fitting to ask if Diggs had any thoughts on the recent race-related comments from US rapper Slim Thug. In an interview with Vibe magazine, the hiphop star said: “White women treat they man like a king and black women feel like they ain’t gotta do that s**t. Black women need to stand by their

man more.”

Unsurprisingly, his comments raised more than a few eyebrows.

“I try not to judge people,” Diggs says of the rapper’s remarks. “With comments like that, there’s often a deeper issue that has nothing to do with what the actual comment was. Race is such a deeply embedded issue and people get emotional about it. And when they get emotional about it, they speak from the

gut.

“When that happens, people can get caught up in the wordage, as opposed to where those words and those feelings come from. That stuff really interests me.

Psychologically, I do wonder about those things. But I do think it’s less about colour and more about socialisation and how we’re raised. It’s deeper than just black women and white women.” Well, despite the occasional haters, Diggs has a wide fanbase, not only thanks to his film roles and his current

starring role in the US medical drama Private Practice, but also thanks to his smouldering good looks.

(Seriously, the brother’s skin in smooth!) Does Diggs get even a little bit caught up with the sex symbol status thing?

“No, not at all,” he laughs. “I started out as a nerd and I think I’ll always be a nerd! Plus, I was raised in an environment where there was

a great emphasis on the importance of humility and being gracious. “I know that all this [fame] could go away in a second, so it’s not worth getting too

caught up in that side of things. That keeps me grounded. I’ve also got some great friends who wouldn’t allow me to become conceited.”

And what does his wife make of having a Hollywood hottie hubby?

“She knew me way before all of that. I think we both get a kick out of it. But she’s doing ok herself… she’s often cast as the sexy girl! So I think we both have an understanding of all of that. We’ve both been in the business a while and we know how it goes.” With the couple having embarked on the journey of

parenthood last year, Diggs says he’s thoroughly enjoying fatherhood.

“He’s nine months now and he’s great,” Diggs says of his son Walker Nathaniel Diggs. “He’s just about to crawl, he’s laughing, he’s responding to things – you can really see his personality developing. Fatherhood is great. I’ve always loved kids. I come from a large family. I’m the oldest of five.”

Is Diggs looking to have a large family of his own? “After going through this pregnancy with my wife and being in the room when my son was born, I would never ask my wife to do it again! It’s her body so she’s the boss. “That sacrifice is unending so I would leave that decision up to her. But I do love the

idea of little Walker having a sibling. I also like the idea of adoption. So we’ll see.” Did Diggs hold up well in the delivery room?

“I thought so,” he laughs. “I thought I did an ok job... It’s a lot!”

Private Practice series 3 is on Thursdays at 10pm on Living

 

Robert Deniro doesn't have to go thru shit like that from Italian women..they don't care what he does.

Kerry Washington and Paula Patton don't have to go thru that shit either.

Only BM and Npn-BW have to endure such bullshit.

 

exactly. black men ( I have said this before over and over and over again) are the whipping post of society. The death rate goes due to a plague it is bcuase of a black man. gun shots fired ...no investigation needed it was a black man that did it...just grab one he is guilty he will due.

when a white woman marries/date a bm she lowered herself and as far as bw are concerned we are traitors and weak.

I hate to say this again...I wrote about this to some extent in a thread called trepidations: barriers of meeting a ww. Now i did not talk about this in the beginning but it did come up. see note 13 page 2

 

Black men date interracially at a much higher rate than Black women, so there's a difference in the perception.

I think if Black women dated interracially at the rate Black men do, brothas in general would be heated!

 

Fuck outta here with that feminized bullshit.

When BW did most of the IR dating(and still do) nobody said jackshit about it.

It's ironic...BM get slammed for dating IR by women that have been with every race of man on earth.


WM and BW do a LOT more IR fucking than BM/WW...they just do most of it at WORK or on campus....................you'd be surprised............

The reason you might no see as many WM/BW out together is because WM don't have to take a BW out in public to fuck her....he can just sneak her in and knock her off...


They can say what they want about WW...but they just don't sleep with men that are ASHAMED to be seen with them.

You can't park down the street from a white girl's house,honk your horn,and expect even the weakest WW to come running like a dog.

Try getting a white girl to pump the gas while you wait in the A/C...shit ain't happening...........but I have seen on several occasions "strong BW" pumping gas into some raggedy ass hoopty,while the white dude chills in the car.

 

Damn kid you went overboard on this one. Bm/ww still got wm/bw relationships beat. That whole strong bw pumping gas for a wm in a raggedy car is bs. Apparently she's not strong she's a talker. A weak woman period will bend to a mans will because they're weak it has nothing to do with race. I agree with you on the fact they would never go at wm or bw about dating ir and that's horseshit.

 

You dudes are crazy! Damn I joined this site because I'm attracted to ww, but damn you guys seem to have some type of hate towards bw.

 

BM/WW.........lead in IR dating and marriage.

WM/BW..........lead in IR fucking.


WM and BW hook up LOT more than you think.

Just because you don't see them together doesn't mean they aren't hooking up.


WM have a lot more DAILY ACCESS to BW than the other way around.if you think they aren't screwing them left and right you're nuts.


I've not only seen BW pumping the gas...I've seen them endure racial slurs and insults they'd NEVER tolerate from a BM.

 

Nobody is hating....

If you want to see hate look at the comments about Taye Diggs made by BW.

 

What backwards ass town do you live in fam. That shit wouldn't fly around here. Not for a second.

 

I'm in Chicago, not a backwards town. There was a WM/BW couple in my apartment complex. He would wait on the corner every morning while she went, got the car and picked him up curbside. When I was growing up in the D if you didn't have a car sistas would laugh you right outta Dodge let alone pick your ass up.

 

But I'm suppose to believe they're ok with wm saying racial slurs. And just becuase a bw picks her wm doesn't she wouldn't do it for a bm. Just like not every ww is sunshine and roses. Bitchy doesn't know race creed or religion

 

That's bull. I grew up in an area where IR was extremely common, and there were as many BW/WM couples as BM/WW. The Black Men didn't care. They didn't feel they "owned" Black Women, and didn't feel Black Women "owed" them anything. There were some NOI guys who made a big deal about anyone dating out, but for the most part the only people who ever got any kind of flack were the Black Men.

The theory was that if a Black Man was dating a White Woman, the Black Man was betraying the Black Woman, but if a Black Woman dated a White Man, it was because the Black Man had betrayed the Black Woman and it was still the Black Man's fault.

 

thank god I live in south florida! non of that crap down here. You date whoever you want and don't feel like you owe anyone crap.

 

Live and let live for heaven's sake

 

I'm from earth what planet to you come from friend?

 

Uranus

 

Pause!

 

is it smelly there because I hear it is full of shit?

 

LMAO. It was clearly a joke, andrae:smt106