Still a Virgin does that decrease attraction?

A question I'm generally interested in. Im still a virgin but have engaged in sexual acts. I also do not on intend in giving it up easily. Is this a deal breaker for some people and do you think it is less likely for me to have a relationship?

 

Congrats! I was a virgin until I was 21. The few years before were so hard for me cause I didn't trust anyone. I think this is a good test for the men who come into your life. There's a double-edge sword thing that happens when you're a V. One, if a dude sticks around, it could be cause he wants to hit it or that he cares. It's up to you to decipher his intentions. Then secondly, theres a chance where a guy will still date you, but get some on the side. It's really tough being a virgin, especially in this day and age, but I commend you.

 

From reading your post it seems that you take your virginity seriously. This might create a problem with some men. I tend to be attracted to women who are sexually adventureous, so I would worry that a virgin might tend to be a little to conservative for me. There are some men who would love to de-flower a virgin, so your situation might be a big turn on for them.

Are you attracted to men who are virgins? I ask that because, if you found and dated a man who was a virgin you might trust his motives a little more. Also a male virgin would be more likely to share your sexual attitudes and belief system.

 

It might to some men. Some men want to hit it and quit it. Others might like you for who you are and want to stick around. If you want to continue being a virgin but the man you are with is pressuring you to sleep with him, then dump his ass and move on........

 

Good advice!

 

i guess it would have to depend on the person. there was a guy back in the 1990's that i was just infatuated with and he was a virgin. it became my mission to deflower him.

 

hey guys thanks for the advice . In response to your question Gunman I'm actually attracted to non-virgins but occasionaly virgins. I think it is v. difficult to find guys who are virgins especially those who are attractive, intelligent have a GSOH and a great personality that I click with. I think I am drawn to men who I imagine are extremely passionate, unfortunately im afraid of sex for the consequences.

Unchosen thankyou :smt060 my estimation for the possibility of there being good men has increased rapidly . I think it is hard though because I'm currently a uni student and many (not all) guys here are looking for fun but not really a relationship.

IB thankyou for your support x

 

i think getting into a relationship will be fine. sure, some guys will be turned off and not bother to try. that's good for you, weeds them out quick. and then others will have temporary ideas... thinking they can be the first to get you to go all the way, and then bail when they realize it is not a game. the tricky part will be in maintaining the relationship. if the guy has been sexually active before committing to you, he may have a lot of difficulties living without sex. even with the "other sexual acts", nothing can replace vaginal sex.

so here's a couple thoughts (and it's just me shootin ideas here)... if your virginity is rooted in a moral or religious fiber, definitely build with a guy with the same understanding or faith. also, have you tried dating a virgin? if the guy is saving himself as well then that takes a little pressure off the situation. with whatever pathyou take though, just remember that communication is always the key to success. :smt023

 

You're welcome ES. I've been there and I remember those days so well. It was hard. I was in love with this guy when I was 20 and he broke my heart. He wanted me to give it up and I wanted him to commit to me. No one would give in. I met a guy during that time and that's who I gave it up to. I always heard all this crap that I'd be sprung over my first etc. That wasn't the case. I was cool, cause I was ready.

 

Thanks AS mostly I suppose this stems from a religious upbringing my parents are christian so I was told sex is special etccc.. However I still retain some of this but im also worried about Pregnancy, STDS and making sure it is the right person. I haven't dated a virgin yet but the only ones who i've so far met are extremely evangelical christians and while i respect some of their views I could not date someone who is homophobic, creationist and other issues.

Thanks for the communication point that is important . I suppose I need to decide what I want and why complete intimacy is scary.

 

There's plenty of other things we can do, I am nothing if not understanding

 

such as ?

 

You tell me

 

Sorry to interrupt the thread but I wanted to take the time to challenge Karma to a debate. A neutral third party can pick the topics and we can argue the points. Don't bitch out Karma.

 

Hahahaha, it would be like Obama debating Palin. Actually I think Palin is smarter than you. Stay in your lane.

 

If you really think so then accept the challenge and face me homie.

 

Dont worry he does not seem to have taken you up on your challenge though.

Karma there is plently but i wanted a man's perspective

 

No problem, sorry for your thread getting interrupted, some people are rude.

 

To answer your question, "yes, it will be less likely for you to have a relationship" because you will more likely to not have to tolerate being with guys who only want you for just sex. For whatever reason may it be for you, be it marriage or just finding the right person, I applaud your efforts and give you much respect for that.

As a virgin myself, I know how very difficult it is to maintain. I've just always wanted to find the right person, someone that I am truly in love with, that said, I am glad I waited because the guy that I am with now, just may be that fellow. I have never had feelings for anyone else like I had with him. At some point in our relationship we discussed about how we really felt about one another and of course the topic about sex came up. I confessed to him that I was a virgin, he was very pleased and considered himself to be a lucky guy. He didn't want a woman that's been around, and his ultimate nightmare would be that his girl hooked up with one of his homeboys. Me living in a small town, that can easily happen! lol

You may not have as many relationships as you like in terms of quantity but it will definitely improve your chances of having good quality relationships if that is what you want. Good luck to you, and whoever you choose, he is a lucky guy. :smt039