Stats on interracial dating

So the dating website OkCupid ran data on their users, and it's apparently a large group. I found this data really interesting.

http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-race-affects-whether-people-write-you-back/

If you don't want to be pissed off, I'll save you the time and summarize: people in general are still racist, at least when it comes to love. The first things I noticed:

1) Black women have it really, really bad.
2) White men have it really, really good.

But there's a lot of interesting stuff here. I find point number 2 particularly interesting because, as many of us have noticed here, white guys often throw a fit when a white girl does go out with a black guy.

This gets back to the sense of entitlement white guys show that many of us were talking about. White guys actually have it best not just with white women, but also hispanic women and asian women! And yet, they get pissed if just one of us white women happens to date somebody else. Does every single race of girl belong to them? It's just so irritating to see a group who has it so easy in the dating pool still act like they're getting oppressed when one person doesn't want them exclusively.

Anyway, there's a lot of interesting stats in here beyond just that, and I'd love to hear people's thoughts. I know what I want, so this data doesn't affect me personally; I just think it's interesting to see how far (or not far) we've come. Surely this is better than 1950, but we've still got a long way to go.

 

Me and a friend had good talk about this a few months ago and he brought up some pretty interesting insights.

1. What's the point of a study like this? To discourage you from "crossing over" or to make you feel like your undatable? What do we really gain from the data.

2. The numbers are very misleading. There aren't an even number of people on the site in terms of black, white, hispanic, and asian people. Sites like okcupid are probably more representative of the country as a whole so you're more likely to have a lot less blacks to whites (for the purpose of this discussion I won't mention other races). So to put in perspective there might be 60 black people(30 men and 30 women) and 300 white people( 150 men and 150 women). White women might simply reply to more white men because there is a much higher frequency of approaches by white men. And from what I am told about dating sites from the women's perspective a lot of emails get over looked because there are just too many to respond to.

So in other words I wouldn't pay attention to studies like this. I personally have been on okcupid and to be honest my responses are probably 3 out of 10. Not stellar numbers but just about the same if I were going out and meeting women and the major difference is the women on okcupid are more likely to have things in common with me. So I say go for what you want and forget the negativity.

 

Oh I definitely agree that this shouldn't affect our personal preferences. I hope no one in here is actually going to see this and say, "oh geez, I was clearly wrong! I should be dating black women/white men!" I certainly didn't.

I just don't think it's healthy to only want to hear what you want to hear. Information and study, to me, should be something one is always open to, even if that information doesn't always make you happy. I'm not particularly happy that I'll eventually get old, and die, but I'm glad that I know I will anyway.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18090277/ns/us_news-life/t/after-years-interracial-marriage-flourishing/

Here's more information that suggests that interracial marriage (of all kinds) is on the rise in the US. So I really don't think this data is all bad. It says: "Yes, racism still exists in the world. But it's slowly getting better." That doesn't seem like things are all bad, to me.

 

ive been harassed loads by racist white men, who love to tell me im a trophy for black men amongst lots of other nice little things, ive even seen them harass other white women with the same crap, yet they will go after bw etc, its pisses me off, even on youtube, you leave just one comment saying the black guy in the vid is hot then bam moments later its some whiney ass white guy crying about it

 

I'm just saying its not an accurate depiction. The stats give the impression that ww in general don't want to date bm and from what I see of this site and my own personal life that's not true. Like I said its a form of cooking the books to produce an image that isn't real.

 

true, someones lying to protect someones insecuritys, i seen people go mad at the very mention that alot of ww are dating bm these days and its on the rise

 

I read a blog by a woman who does a lot of statistical analysis, and it's astounding how you can slant things to make them "prove" the point you started with in the first place.

I'm of "another generation" than a lot of people here, but most of my WW friends who are single are open to dating men of all races. And those who are married, even to WM would be open if they were single. I know I'm politically liberal, and so are most of my friends, but even so, I think the stats are being skewed here.

 

Geez guys, I dunno. I think most of us live in urban, multicultural areas, and that may skew our viewpoint. I know I grew up in a place where interracial couples were already accepted long before I came of dating age.

I think we need to look at OkCupid more generally. It's a really progressive site that, for example, openly discusses gay preferences and how they work, without judgement. Here's a post about gay sexuality that clearly supports the notion that gays are not a threat. If OkCupid seems to have any bias to me, it's a progressive one. Even in this race study, if you read the language, they clearly are not overjoyed by the data they're finding.

Lastly, keep in mind that many people who "prefer" their own race often don't do so consciously. Like, there are lots of girls I know who say they're fine dating whomever, but magically have never dated outside their own race anyway (this is true of both white and black girls I know, by the way). It's often something people no longer do consciously -- where they say "I would never date a white girl" or "I'd never date an asian guy" -- but the preferences are still there on a subconscious level.

 

You also have to account for what people say in public and what they say in private are two different things. People generally lie to fit whatever situation they're in. I've always disliked the idea of anyone saying they would never date someone of a different race. Thats ridiculous. Every group of people has their pretty people that will get your juices flowing. I personally tend to date only ww because they seem to be the only group who share my interests on average and who are a lot more open minded sexually, politically, and spiritually. Ironically enough most minorities are pretty conservative. Not to mention I live in the US, I'm five times more likely to run into a beautiful white woman than anyone else so why fight it

 

Possibly but I also think exposure has a lot to do with it. If you never come across bm in your work place or at school or where you socialize it might not be preference just circumstance. I quickly beginning to realize preferences are trumped up ideals that seem good in our heads but not true in practice. The older you get the more you just want someone who you click with both physically and mentally. I may "prefer" dating ww but I wouldn't turn down a beautiful hispanic or black girl if we clicked too I just live in a mostly white area and don't generally find women like that

 

Hold on, the study actually suggests that 55% of white women are at least open to dating outside their race.

So 45% of white women are not open to this; I'd argue that a lot of those people are going to be of the sort you and I would never meet, living in very remote parts of America where they rarely run in to black people anyway. So of the city dwelling white women in this study, maybe more like 60-70% are at least open to interracial dating. When you put it that way, does it seem so unlikely? It doesn't to me.

Lastly, there's a big difference between being "open" for it and actually seeking it out. Like I said, I know several girls who say they have no preference, but coincidentally keep dating guys of their own race over and over again (black and white). They aren't consciously racist anymore, but a lot of people still have these preferences deep down in their subconscious. I think it's sort of like a business owner who doesn't actually sit around, wringing his hands, saying "mwa ha ha, I shall never hire a black man!" but nevertheless doesn't hire any black men just because of subconscious stereotypes he doesn't even think about.

 

Hey Pixie, since you're in here, I thought you'd like this other OkCupid statistical study. It made me think of you. I admit there are a couple of "depressing" statistics in here, but I doubt any of them will surprise you -- they include such startling conclusions as "men generally prefer younger women." I know, a shocker.

The case for an older woman.

On the whole for me, at least, this gives me hope for my dating life as I age, if I never get married

 

Oh yes, terribly shocking! I find it amusing they consider women in their mid 30s to be "older."

My personal experience is a bit different, and I'm not sure why. When I was young, I dated a lot of older guys. For the last 20 years, since my divorce, every single man who has asked me out has been *younger* than I am, anywhere from 4-20 years younger. I recognize you've all said I don't look my age, but I don't look 25 anymore either. Maybe some younger men are overcoming that youth thing? I find men my own age much more likely to draw a line in the sand at 30 or 35 and refusing to date anyone older (they must spend a lot of time with Rosy Hand).

One thing which does change is that it's much harder to meet men at my age. The bar scene is filled with the 18-30 crowd, I'm not religious so I'm not going to a church where I'd meet people, so that all can be limiting.

Women's self confidence, btw, can drop off around 40 because the media society and a lot of men consider you invisible once you cross that line. So it's in your head, you know? After 40 you do begin to notice changes that weren't there before - other people might not notice, but you do. Fine lines, grey hair, etc. And that plays with your head.

 

despite this not being a scientific research there is something to be said....everyone has their preference. if they prefer to date within their race is no different than someone who prefer to date outside their race...or is it...HHMMM. what do you think ?

 

Join the club, I've been told by a few black girls that I'm a self-hater and turned my back on my race because I've said that I prefer to date white women. Nevermind the fact that I'm VP of Princeton's Organization of United African Peoples and mentor black high school students during the spring. I think IR dating still touches a deep nerve of insecurity for alot of people in this country.

 

here is a report from the PEW Research center

http://pewresearch.org/pubs/1616/american-marriage-interracial-interethnic

Its called :

Marrying Out
One-in-Seven New U.S. Marriages is Interracial or Interethnic

 

Black girls being upset I get but I never understood white men getting bent out of shape. Hw aren't a limited resource in the US for everyone that dates a black man there are like five who only date wm so they lose nothing.

 

Wow, what a major break thru discovery. I hope they didn't spend a dime to fund this garabage of a research. White guys have it easy in life including dating, they can get any race of women, really? are you serious???? wow, what a fucken revelation, I never knew that.

 

As was said before, the study is not scientific. With that said, I found a major flaw (this flaw is a showstopper) in the study. OkCupid is not representative of the American population at large. Minorities who join OkCupid are probably more likely to date white than the minority population at large. As OkCupid is an overwhelmingly white dating site, the minorities who want to date within their race are unlikely to join the site. There are a lot of dating sites that pander to those minorities that prefer to remain within their own race. If you are a black man who only wants black women, then you are probably much more likely to join Black Planet (if that place still exists) than OkCupid. The number of black people in real life who prefer to date withintheir race is far higher than the OkCupid numbers would suggest.

 

Yes, they actually explicitly state this in the study. In addition, they point out that their users tend to be younger and more progressive than the general population. I don't think OkCupid is trying to hide anything or pretend to be something they're not.