Stares

I know this topic has probably been discussed before, but I just find it never ending. When I was in a relationship with a bm, I always recieved dirty looks from a bw. Or snares, one female was even bold enough to tell me "you keep taking all OUR good black men". I just feel like they have a choice, and obviously he choose me. Whatever the case may be it's just annoying and getting old. We're now in 2011 and people are still feeling this way.

Do black men hear the same thing from white men or black women?

 

stares infuriate me

someone move this to the Dealing with Prejudice section

 

yep. I was talking to a BW about different social issues and BM/BW relationships came up. she mentioned WW dating BM. She was not cool with it at all. I infered that she had the mentality that WW were taking good BM and Its hard to find a good BM. I didnt get into the depths of it with her but people need to get over it and then define good BM

 

I stare back. Because of my size 6' 4", they dare not give me any shit.

 

LOL.

 

Sperm and egg politics. If you are seen as a threat to another population group's mating chances (or choices), you're bound to get some flack.

Black women giving off a funky stare is tame in comparison to some of the shit male population groups have done throughout history to protect the local puss.

 

damn

 

I never encountered any hostility or stares while with my last partner. I actually got smiles from BW. (He, on the other hand, was convinced that everyone was looking at us and judging.) But IR relationships are common here so maybe it's not so much of an issue.

 

wouldnt take any notice of bw like that and i dont think wm are as brave as they used to be to go up to a bm and talk shit about him being with a ww, as for stares we have had our fair share but rarely, but i notice black dudes stare out my bf hard when we are out in town haha, they look at us back and forth, i remember once he said "ill get my ass killed one day comming down this part of town with you" :smt043:smt043:smt043

 

The people who stare does not run my life. I had stared at a brother with a nice WW admiring his good choice in a woman. There will be staring and I don't give a rat's butt since I love to walk with my lady.

 

Ha! Good shit man.

 

Its the stares that I get from WW sometimes who don't frown or smile that bug me lol. Like yesterday I was waiting to get of my train and some cute indie/yuppie type girl who kept looking back at me. She was doing her damn hardest not to smile as she was with a WM who might have been the boyfriend.

 

Don't worry about it, unless it's coming from someone who looks violent.

 

Black women didn't really stare at us too much or in a bad way because my boyfriend was kind of an "oddball" (wore biker boots or cowboy boots, dreads, and a blue bandana/headscarf - kind of a rockabilly type w/ vintage coats and stuff) - not really the kind most of the bw around here go for so it wasn't much of a loss for them except he's big and buff. Black men (a lot, anyway) stared pleasantly because of course they thought it gave THEM a chance with me LOL (whatever)

It was the stares from the white men that were scary sometimes - especially older white men whose eyes just sort of narrow... or the young rednecks who seemed kind of hostile. They would never dare try anything because he's so big and built and scary-looking to boot, they knew he could kill them. Also there are the guys who tried to be "cool" and "hang" with my boyfriend and started trying to "act black", calling him "brother" and stuff, which was laughable because he NEVER acted like that. He would go along with it, but it was like they were trying to talk to him in what they thought was his "language" and he was just talking back to them in "regular English" as if nothing was happening, while they just looked and sounded ridiculous.

 

LMAO "taking all our good black men" yeah right. Is she talking about the same good black men that she didn't pay any attention to until she saw him with a white women and now she mad. If only we had the power of Medusa to turn people into stone if they Stare/IceGrilling(not all stares, just the angry ones).

 

lmao. you're too funny.

 

Exactly, but I never say anything unless she says something to me.

 

In my first IR relationship, I was consciously aware of stares and probably misinterpreted half of them that were merely curiosity, or whatever and heard the animosity from those who disapproved ...

Having grown into the person I am now, my attitude is "Read us and weep"...

If anyone wants to turn it ugly, which has only happened once, I can go there....

I'm not here to stroke strangers' comfort zones.... Their ignorance/insecurity doesn't define me...

 

This.

 

They probably aren't look at you as much as you think they are...

LOL@we are no in 2011...as if POOF racism and inequity are gone. What does 2011 have to do with it?