Sorting out my feelings and expectations

BT,

I hate to tell you, bro, but I'm not "Black". That's the facts, regardless of the color my skin or what appears to be "Black". My heritage spans several continents. Why is it that "Black" people have a hard time realizing that they're not actually "Black"? Who gives a damn about what other people think?

People have to learn to break away from traditional thinking. That's the real problem we as human beings face in the next 100 years. We've been so accustomed to being told what we are, rather than seeking our true identity. The information is readily available to dispell all of the myths we've been fed for CENTURIES.

So, I hate to tell you, BT, but I'm not "Black". Never was, never will be. You can accept the label as you've been given, but I refuse to be labeled as something I'm not -- and I don't care what the current "standards" are -- they're all flawed, just as the logic that "race is real". Sure, real in our minds, which is where everything manifests.

If you tell someone time and time again, "You are a cow", you'll eventually believe it. Hence why race, government, law & order, religion, etc. are integral components of life. However, again, they're all very seriously flawed measures. Race in particular has no place in society. It is, and always will be, a mechanism to segregate and segment people. That's why it was *created* in the first place.

Look at history in the last 400-600 years during slavery. This idea is relatively new, but has stuck with the majority like jam on toast.

 

Only thing I have left to say is:

 

BlackTiger and ronaldl79,


I hate to make this debate go any further, but you're right and wrong about what you're both saying, and the points the both of you are making to one another, are sort of cancelling one another out again and again.

 

Fine, we will agree to disagree.

Ronald, I didn't to mean to disrespect you and I hope we can be friends here.

I had actually typed out some things that we could debate about, but you're set in your beliefs and I don't think I can change them. My great grandmother was mulatto so I am not pure black, so to speak. But I think a lot of the things that you talked about were semantics, and how you've never been black. My god, your skin is darker than mine!

I'll leave it alone. I grew up as a child with "Black is beautiful" as a slogan, so that's I am. I feel differently from you, so be it.

BT

 

BT,

I'm pretty passionate about my beliefs, so there aren't any hard feelings. I am here to learn and grow, and I do understand that there are "underlying" issues in society. I see them, but I try not to see them -- because I don't anything or anyone raining down on my parade.

My resolve is knowing the truth about what's "really" going on. The truth that we walk upon each day. There was a time where I was lost and confused, and I identified with the "labels". But now, I see things in a different light.

Again, though, I am here to learn. I am here to share and experience. So, we're good, man. The funny thing about communicating via computer is that our emotions are sometimes lost. We don't always know if we're offended, angry, etc. I can tell you that I'm neither. And I've read your stories, and they are quite interesting, to say the least. I've already been learning from your own experiences!

I'll try to tone down my "passion", but never feel that you cannot dialogue with me because of my beliefs about race.

As for never being "black", I "used to be". I identified with the "label". Then, there was a turning point in my life. I realized I'd been duped. But, again, feel free to list the things you'd like to debate/discuss. I am always available to discuss our current and flawed reality, which is based on the concept of race.

 

Understood, bro.

Yes, I get emotional on things as well, but I try to tone it down on boards. And yes, I believe certain things, but I am always welcome to debate anything, as long as it's civil.


Peace out, Ronald.

BT

 

Surroundings

Where are you looking for your women. The best kept secret in most cities is the art galleries mainly the newer ones started by struggling artist. If you want to meet a good girl in an urban setting try the galleries.

 

Re: Surroundings

Relaxed, "Check". In my 27 years of living, I've rarely looked for women. The women I've been with found me, and honestly, I like it that way. Unfortunately, I grew up a pretty naive young man, so I wasn't able to recognize (then) that women had a lot of issues, or that someone was "playing" me.

Now, the story is different -- but at a very expensive cost. I truly believe that the "environment" is everything. If you're looking for a lay, then most clubs, bars, after hours joins, parties, etc. are a perfect spot for that. And, for a long-term relationship, the galleries, museums, and other "top notch" places are sure to turn up some prospects.

 

Re: Surroundings

Relaxed and ronaldl79, I am surprised (in a good way, mind you) that you would venture into art galleries, museums, etc. in search of a 'quality' woman. I belong to a couple of museums and will check out a gallery once in a while--by myself--and have yet to see a brotha in any of these places. Even in the culturally diverse and open-minded Bay Area! Is this just a regional thing, or have you actually met women in these places? Just curious. :wink:

 

I'm a member of one of the largest [and best IMO] museums in America and I see a number of black guys there at any given time.
I'm open to meeting women there but I really do go for the art [some women are close to art however!!!].

The museum that I patron has events all of the time and some are targeted at singles.

The arts really are a great place to meet good people on any level, I think.

 

Re: Surroundings

Marie,

Being an artistic and creative kind of guy, I enjoy artistic and creative things. I've stumbled into galleries and museums many times, but not to meet anyone (although I've observed some of the women there). Honestly, I just "get off" on things which aren't mainstream. I appreciate the artistic work of others. It's good stuff. You can also apply this to great music: Classical, jazz, opera, etc... all of which I LOVE!

This is why I hardly get along with women in their 20s, because they think I'm too old, weird, or whatever.

 

Ok Ronald so what are you asking for here? If you want to meet a women that doesnt fit the "urban" personality you need to approach a different type of woman. Do you have confidence isssues when it comes to approaching women? I'll tell you right now that the internet is not the best place to meet women. You need to get out and start approaching the kind of women you seek. Chances are they are not going to fall into your lap. Just go for what you want.

As far as the "black" thing goes you need to get over it. White people arent exactly "white" either but its just a simple desriptive label given usually. Theres no need for this "oh my race has been oppressed so they shouldnt have a label" race card BS.

Ive been called "black" and have refered to others as "white" or "black" myself. It is no big deal and no need to take offense to it. Get over it.

 

Scott,

Whoever said anything about being oppressed? I'm not the one to sit around and blame ANYONE for ANYTHING. I've already proven to myself what I'm capable of doing in life -- many times over. Hell, I don't even identify with the labels to begin with. I'm a damn mutt! What did you not get in my postings? What does my sig say:

"Race is a TOOL to FOOL!"

It means I do not BUY race for what it is.

 

I got everything out of your post.

1. you make a big deal over "race" and think it is some sort of conspiracy made to fool someone when in reality it doesnt even matter the words "black" and "white" are simply terms to identify someone.

2. You said youre looking for a suburban women and you basically stereotyped urban women.

and I told you need to get over the race thing and dont be one of those people that are so quick to play the race card and say "OMG thats so offensive to call me black!"

and I also told you that if you want to meet "suburban women" as you call them, you need to just approach them and go for what you want. You said you tried talking to someone on the internet and I told you thats not the best place to meet someone. Simple as that. What else were we supposed to get out of your post?

 

I, for one, find it interesting that someone who says he's against "racial labels" would become an active member on a site that is very race specific: WHITEwomenBLACKmen.com!

Not attacking or judging.... just stating that I find it interesting.

 

LOL! The "oppressed" make use of the race card -- I don't. I'm entitled to standing up for my true identity -- something few people realize these days. I'm not one to follow trends.

 

Pearl,

You're right -- I am definitely aware of what this site is. I joined to be among a people who are open to others without judging one's character or content on the basis of their skin color.

I am all for surrounding myself with positive and open-minded people -- I am getting that here. At the same time, I'm not here to the "label" game, either. I simply want to engage and have a nice time.

 

I am still seeing both sides of the spectrum here, but that's my input.

 

I'm against "racial" labels as well and yet I'm a member of this side. I don't see it as a contradiction either. I would prefer to go to a side called "MenWithCurlyDarkHairBrownEyesTannedSkinSoftLipsEyeCatchingSmile.com" but I haven't found that one yet .... :lol:

 

ROFL! It's hard to strike a happy medium when your views don't reflect the majority ... but, that's the challenge of being different. However, to make a standard -- though irrelevant -- statement:

"I lub me some white women!" LOL! Seriously, I appreciate the gender for what it is. There's just a specific type of woman I'm attracted to these days (no relation to her weight, height, etc ... not those specifics), and I see those qualities as more apparent in women from suburban areas.