Sorry to be so serious

Some time ago i fell in love with a beautiful man. 2 years and my man took his own life. There was no warning. I am white and he was black. Every single person around him was white. although he never discussed it as an issue - i am pained to think that having no one he could relate to...made him feel so desperate to do what he did...
Do men feel this pain and not show it?

 

(Im not anything close to a psychologist, psychiatrist, or a person who studies human behaviors or disorders, so please take may opinion with a grain of salt from standpoint of a analyst. Im just giving my opinion as a black man who has lived in predominately white areas, and at times felt a sense of loneliness for any number of reasons.)

While I think anyone who is surrounded by people who may be vastly different than themselves would feel a sense of loneliness, (arabs here in the US, an american in a country with vastly different values, such as japan,) I personally dont feel that was what caused your mate's actions. And if they were, I dont think they were the initial cause of his feelings of hopelessness, but maybe one of many things that led to his unfortunate decision.

I sorry to hear about your loss, and from your post you sound like a caring lady. I only wish that your boyfriend would have talked to you (or any other person who cared about him) and convinced him to seek some professional help.

But to answer your question, yes, men feel pain. We love, care, and hurt just as much as women do. We have just been "programed" to cover it up and suck it in because "real men dont cry." So we cry when were alone or in different ways. (Bars and alcohol I think were made for that exact reason.) I will give you a perfect example.

If you get to know any man over the age of 30 well enough, eventually he will tell you about "The One." "The One" is that one special lady that broke our hearts into a million pieces. And regardless of how many other women/wives, how many kids, and how much time passes by "The One" will always have a piece of our heart as her own.

I sure that little story is little consolation for you, but its just to show you that we men do hurt, and if anything, women do a better job of getting over hurt feelings than men do.

So stay strong, mwahh. I know in my heart that your man's problems had very little to do with you and those around ya'll (hey, im from the south). Im glad you decided to join wwbm, because even though in this forum we sometimes make an ass :butthead: out of ourselves (im guilty) we all share a common bond. And that makes us friends.

Welcome, friend. :smt006

 

We do but we don't express it outwardly often. Unfortunately when you let certain feelings build up with out expressing them you may a scenario where the pressure has built up too high and you make an irrational decision.

 

They are really lovely words - thanks Jellybird for the warm welcome
I couldnt sleep last nite - and i was really emotionally exhausted when i wrote my post (dont know where the heck i plucked the name 'mwahh' from). Men put far too much pressure on themselves to appear ‘strong’ by controlling their emotions. Do men think women are put off by a man who is emotional? Is that your experience?

See ya (im further south then you – Im Australian ':wink:'),
Mwahh

 

It depends on the attraction between the man and the woman. If the woman is attracted to the man, then he's seen as sensitive. If she's not, then he's seen as a wimp.

I have always wanted to travel to Australia. It seems so exotic and mysterious.