Something veeeeeeery interesting happened that has changed the way I look at women

Hiya, long time caller and listener.
I have lived in San Francisco for about 6 years now. This past thursday I got a call from my pal. Went something like "hey, we're at a bar, its two for one drinks, buy one, get another free!" I was at the end of my night and so I was not so into going out again but it was thursday and staying out late wasnt the worst idea ever. I text back for exact directions and I get something from his girlfriend along the lines of "its at 18th and Castro.....gay bar" So I'm like, cool, what ever, this is San Francisco, no need to trip, I'm just trying to get a drink.
So anyway, I get to the spot and it turns out that its not a bar, but its a flipping club. I was already tired but I was still game to have a drink. I could put up with obnoxious dancing people as long as alcohol is around.

Now, here is where things become interesting. In San Francisco people are pretty mellow about everything and its not so strange to see a bunch of straight folks in a gay bar. I did notice that there were a lot of straight girls in the place. (you are probably going to ask......'how could you tell?' for starters a lot of straight couples were in the house, secondly, although I'm not 100% acurate it is possible to get a vibe that a girl can be straight. find that its easier to tell with girls over guys in this city)

What I did not expect was the total ease that the girls were showing. I could have been hanging out by myself in an empty bar, people were seriously up on each other. Normally when I walk down the streets of SF or in a straight bar there is always that sort of uncomfortable body language-dance that happens when I might get very close to someone. I'm not saying that it is a total and overt awkwardness but there is something there that I always find to be slightly off-putting. You can tell when someone is trying very hard to get out of your way as opposed to just being there (while the extreme is trying to get up on you)

After being in that situation I have a few ideas in my head.
Were the women comfortable in that situation because they were gay and did not find me to be a threat?
Did they think of me as gay and did not think of me as a threat?
The idea of 'threat' is something I'm trying to wrap my head around. What I mean is that things can become perceivably different when heterosexual urge/desire is taken out of the picture. Suddenly I become safe and those that are usually the focus of my desire are at ease.

So now, I wonder if what I am thinking about can primarily considered a male thing regardless of race, or, is this connected to the long held tradition of viewing black male sexuality as 'hyper' or 'exotic'.

 

No offense, but I was thrown off by your name because I'm new here and wasn't sure what sex you were. Then it sounded like you've posted something from a radio station with the long time caller-listener thing. But to answer your question, they might've either thought you were gay and didn't see you as a threat or the vibe that you give off wasn't threatening. It's hard to answer without having seeing you or being there.

 

It's a male thing. Not a black thing. I've been to several gay bars with female friends (all straight) we went there because we wanted to have a good time and not get harrassed by men. It's feels very comfortable in there because any "threat" (as you say) of a guy bugging you is out the window (hey, they're more interested in bugging other guys, right? LOL). So you can just have fun. Which is a nice change.

 

thanks. I figured as much. When I say "threat" I mean it in the sense of being aware of the sexual energy (from any race) a man has and how it can be an unpleasant thing for some women to be around in some situations (ie drunk, horny, clueless guy at a bar that pretty much messes it up for all the other guys)


@ Innerbeauty.......yep, I'm a dude.

 

Exactly...some men really can be unbelievable bothersome. So you learn automatically not to come in contact in any way, not to provoke anybody, neither with eyes, nor with your body.