Single Men Free? Single Women Lonely?

Do men see being single as freedom to date around and have care free sex without the stress of a woman always on your back? Do women see being single as being lonely?

I ask this because of the fact that it seems to me that there are SOOOO many single men, but not that many single women. I know so many girls who are even in relationships where the guy doesn't make them all that happy, but they HAVE A BOYFRIEND, therefore it is better than having nothing. If I told you that every white girl I have found attractive during my 4 years of high school and so far 3 and half years of college had a boyfriend and NONE were single when I met them...would you believe me? NO WAY right? At least ONE of them had to be single right?



...WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Women treat themselves like they are some prize that the man has to EARN. They make the man pay for everything and make us go through hoops just to get their number and possibly get a date or get them in bed. Men are the "dogs who gotta chase the trophy?" I don't get that. Are men not a prize too? Are we not worth coming to and asking out and approaching? Do we not deserve to be treated well?

I know of so many women who think that being a pretty woman means ANY man must be after you and most men are "horny dogs" and if you are a single woman, with ALL the desperate men out there, something MUST be wrong with you. Therefore being in a relationship, no matter how bad it is, is better than being single and "lonely".

Men just don't see it that way. We see being single as freedom. Many men fear marriage and hate the aspect of having sex with just one woman for the rest of their life. Women on the other hand dream of their wedding day since they are little girls and kill themselves with stress to have the perfect wedding (from the food to the dresses, to the tuxedo's, catering, decorations, flowers, etc...as if THEY were the paid wedding planner).

Why do some women hate being single so much and why does a guy have to be some bar hopping, club player hound to find one (assuming you want a REAL relationship, not some one night stand)?

 

Nice to see we're putting all men in one category and all women in another.

What about, Pey, if I said that since the age of 16 (I'm now 22) I've been single for 3 years, attached for 3 years, and have not once been tempted to accept an offer of marriage...BUT...

I've been proposed to by ALL three of the serious boyfriends I've had!

If you ask me, the tide is turning, many men want to marry (a number of my friends were also engaged young) but many women want to stay free...I'm still terrified at the idea of being married, seems really alien to my lifestyle.

 

Well you are definitely the exception Mistress. I don't pull these generalizations out of my ass, but from 21 years of being alive and my life experiences with women all my life and seeing things and hearing things, I know what I see. Of course not everyone is the same. I know that. That is why in my post I said "Many women", not "All women". In fact EVERY SINGLE woman I have ever come across acts the way I said and can't wait to get married. I only threw "many" in there instead of saying ALL because I figured someone like you would say something. My brother's wife when they first were planning their wedding said she wanted something small, but by the time they were done planning the thing, the whole state of NY was invited, and SHE STILL WASN'T SATISFIED! LOL

 

Not all women see themself as a "prize" but in some cultures women are little more than possessions when they are bought and sold with a dowry etc. And as for those women who need to have a boyfriend, I've already mentioned them in another thread so I won't repeat myself.

I'm divorced, I left him as I was unhappy and I left with NOTHING. I could have got my claws into a few material things but I chose not to, as I chose my dignity over nearly everything else.

 

Haha you know me, always difficult. I wasn't getting at you particularly, sorry if it came across that way, just find it funny when people say how much all women want to get married ...and I've been in this weird situation 3 times over!

Maybe it's upbringing, my dad had an unhappy first marriage and told me never to marry young, just to enjoy the relationships I was in and that he'd support me financially if I was desperate until I found the right man to do that...and my parents also married very cheaply in a registry office so I wasn't ever thinking about big weddings.

 

single is not freedom for all men, especially we who love being married or in a relationship, which many of my social, education, economic class want.

so it might be a class thing and an age thing for sure

 

That is all somewhat true and false. It definitely varies from person to person, sometimes being the other way around.

But, I can say that these days, it's becoming more like what you wrote in your first post, in fact, I can say that in America, it's more like the way you described, than anywhere else.

 

In some circles in America, some writers and women thinkers seem to be playing peculiar games, writing odd books about the 'dating game' to make it a challenge for everyone and probably quite perplexing for men at the other end of the games. The whole thing has turned itself into quite an industry, spawned by The Rules I imagine, but there are lots of spin offs now.

The difference in perception between the single man (bachelor = good) and single woman (spinster = leper) might have something to do with it too, but like Sardonic said, most people in a fast moving world don't want to be left behind, or alone.

 

Thank you! I wish more people in America, would wise up and stop buying into this crap! We don't need anymore of these books/tape recordings/movies telling us what to be attracted to in a mate!

Glad you agree.

 

This is an old ass thread but it's interesting.

I'd like to ask the men here. For you, where does freedom stop and loneliness start? And how does it work for you if you value your freedom, but need companionship at the same time? What is the hardest part about getting things started with a new woman - not disappointing her or remaining yourself?

 

I'm single and am enjoying it while it lasts.

 

:lol:I guess I have my answer.

 

Really?

 

OH WOW!! Your 21!!!!!!!!! how experienced you are!!!
Sorry, not making fun of you - You are stroking witha wide brush there mate...
The first thing you might ponder is if you approach girls differently than what you do now - you might acctually get a different response from chicks and viola your view might change. (i.e., if you keep running into the wall and you bleed, you will most likely try to figure out another approach, right??!!).....
that or let 10 years go by and you will have a different view of things..

You will see that things arent as black and white as you think.... and you also learn to see thorugh the bravado of some men

I give you that about weddings tho' I am amazed by the unrealistic ideas some young women in the US have of the entire event and it breaks my heart.

 

Once a single women reaches like 28-30 and she's single she starts to panic. A guy doesn't:drinkers:

 

We do NOT start to panic. *why is my voice shaking?*

 

I'm 24 and I'm panicing already ha

 

No need to panic. You are beautiful, intelligent, and kind hearted. You'll be swept off your feet in no time!

 

LOL!! Neither of you girls have any reason to panic!!

Now me on the other hand...(Just kidding) :smt081

I know it'll happen again.

 

But You have walked the aisle before