sexy women who date black guys and men who love them

Hi guys,

I need your advise in an issues i am struggling with for some time now.

I am the organizer of a New York City Group named : Sexy women who date black guys and men who love them.

I organized this group last october with the hope of getting the people who are open minded and willing to date outside their own culture out of the on-line dating scene and create a small community of friends with the potential of dating in the real life.

Although I am trying my best to put up events so they can get to know each other with no strings attached I cannot get them involved. I'll get their attention for a minute during an event and from there they go back to their own one race community waiting for the next event.

I tried to talk to them about sex, send them jokes, take them to a picnic, movies, bars, play tennis and they have fun but i cannot have them step out of the side lines and take the center stage. Is that only a NY thing?

What's your take on this? How come we all want an interracial relationship and feel free to talk about it from behind the screen, but when it come to do something about it we'd rather do nothing and stay single?

Am I fighting with the wind mills here?

Here is a link to the group in case someone interested is in the New York Area or leaves here and would like to check it out:

http://www.meetup.com/27-40-Sexy-women-who-date-black-guys-men-who-loves-them/

Love

Maddy

 

Please tell me you're not from Utah

 

Hi.

Your concept is, shall we say, peer-pressure.

I doubt many locals from New York wants to feel obligated to date only a particular pigmentation, if they have experience dating outside their complexion.

Possibly a curious person, may, venture in such an assignment. However, for those who are not intimidated dating someone who offers a different hue than them selves, will not find your concept appealing.

Cheers!

 

What would be appealing to serious people then?

Ha ha..

for andrae09:

No I am not from Utah babe Are a lot of things happening there?


for Complex:

I really appreciate your comment. It is important to me to understand that some people will see it that way. The intention is the exact opposite. The women who are in the group are not of one particular pigmentation. They are white, latinas, asian and biracial so it doesn't limit any guy to opt for a particular race. The only thing they have in common is their preference of dating black man.

I see a little peer pressure attached but i consider it constructive in a twisted way, because the people who are serious about dating a particular race have no fear of their peers or what other people say. They are usually very confident individuals and very secure of who they are and what they like. That however I believe will eliminate a lot of people who are there just for trying something new, because the ones in this position will be more likely cracking under pressure.

Assuming you will be one of the serious ones who would not find the concept appealing how would you like me to adjust it to make it appealing to you?

 

i dont do group dating of any variety, i prefer the one on one thing

and i dont choose friends based on dating preferances so i wouldnt join a group of strangers for a picnic just because i like black men

 

LMAOOOOOO.

 

Well maddy, I live in Ohio - which is just a hop, skip, and a jump away. And since I can't think of a reason NOT to party in New York... Anyway, if you're legit, hit me up at anten7@live.com

 

I don't want just to sleep with a black dude, i actually want to marry one!

:smt026

Nooo...you got it all wrong!

This is not a group of people going wild. We don't date in group! We date one on one, however I think is a little safer to meet these guys in person before I decide to go on a date with them.

How many times I didn't make the wrong choices when I dated guys i met on the internet and the picture they posted was taken 10 years ago when they were young and fit?

How many times I dated hot guys i met in some bar or at a party and we had the hottest sex and everything was all right as long as we will be at my house, hang out with my friends and his mama had no idea i even exist?

By having also friends with the same dating preferences it means i can hang out with some of my girlfriends into a reggae place without them looking at the time and asking me when the hack are we getting out of there like my other white girlfriends who don't date outside our own culture normally do.

I am very serious about having a biracial child at one point in my life and I don't want to meet only random black guys who only want to get in bed with a white chick. I want to meet someone who can actually consider marrying me.

What a better way to make an informed decision unless I meet them before I start dating them?

 

maddy, are you here on behalf of your group - or yourself? I thought you were talking about your group...

 

"Sexy women who date black guys and men who love them"


That's a long ass name. SWWDBG&MWLT.........yeah.

 

:smt081 People actually make these kind of goals.

 

Maddy how old are you?

 

AH Maddy, I for one applaud your effort, for one, you make it easier for those who go along on the group to find who who likes black men. There has been plenty of occasions where I see this fine caucasian woman, but usually only date white guys. So I can safely say it gets intimidating occasionally, cause the last thing you want is to be feelin this lady only to find out she doesn't date black guys.

So I applaud your effort. But you might have better luck out here in Cali. I'm would go but I'm on the other side of the country haha. When you come to california, hit me up with a call lol.

 

Thank you for the love!

Thanx for the love and understanding guys.

As i am pretty new at this forum I am not sure how to use the website properly so I am not sure how to pick quotes from your replays and respond to them.

Therefore I will answer each one of you by your web username.

andrae09: I am 34 years old. I have a pict of myself in my profile if you want to see how do i look like.

babybro: Thank you sweetie. I wish to be in Cali then, but i love NY too much.
Either way I am really happy the internet makes it easy to stay in touch. You never know when you'll take a trip to the big apple and you already have friends to hang out here. I'll definitely hit you up if i'll come to Cali.

anten7: I am here on my behalf and this topic was about my group. The reason why I wanted to ask you guys your opinion about it is because being a leader of the group i don't usually get an honest feed back from members. They would rather tell me what i like to hear until they get to know me better.


***********


Either way i think you guys are cool people and i can learn something from each one of you. It will make me feel more at ease if i will know who am i talking to. There are no pictures in people's profiles. What's up with that. Why the mystery?

By the way one more request for advice.

There is a fine nude beach on Jersey Shore about an hour and a half from the city and I usually go there with few of my friends who are not part of the group, but I think would be cool to ask the people i personally know in the group to come along next time i go.

I know the europeans in the group will see it normal, but what do i do with the rest?

Is that too much to ask? Would that push their open mindness over the board? I don't want to offend anyone. How should i say it without having them think i'll invite them to be part of some immoral thing?

 

You can't. Now such a suggestion wouldn't bother me, I'd just politely decline and go about my merry way with my clothes on. However, pretty much anyone who is opposed to being naked in public, or who views that as kinky, freaky, or whatever, is going to feel real uncomfortable with the idea of a nude beach. Were I you, I'd plan one outing to the nude beach, and then one to a clothed beach. This allows you to tell the members that you are making both options available in an attempt to accommodate everyone's preferences without making anyone uncomfortable, and that they should only participate in things that they are comfortable with.

Some folks are just real sensitive about everything. So by presenting the nude beach option only, those that don't feel comfortable participating get completely left out, and then you run the risk of them feelin' left out and being upset or pissed off about that, which in turn may affect their future participation in anything. If you have two outings though, they can decline the one that doesn't interest them and instead of feelin' left out they view it as I'll catch the next one. Basically you should always give people a choice, even if it's between what they'd consider bad and worse, they get the illusion that they had control and chose, which eliminates that backed into a corner with only one way out feelin' that most people really don't care for.

On a side note, I don't think being open minded has anything to do with any of this. I don't view IR dating as open minded, that seems to indicate you view it as something you have to convince people of, and I think more like why wouldn't you be open to dating IR, hell why wouldn't you be open to dating anyone that you were interested in regardless? Also, though I do believe myself to be open minded, I'm not going to a nude beach ever. That has less to do with me being uncomfortable nude in public, and more to do with the fact that I don't enjoy random full on nudity. Pretty much the only person I want to see full on nude is someone I feel a strong attraction to, otherwise I'm just not interested. And before someone brings it up, no seeing them nude would not allow me to better judge if I was attracted to them, I need to talk to them to figure that out, and I'm going to have trouble carrying on a worthwhile conversation with a nekked man I don't know.

 

Hello Maddy.

In my previous reply, you will notice I stated complexion, pigmentation in addition to hue.

As you are new to these forums, I would imagine you would assume the obvious based on the title of the website. However, many of the older members have heard me mention numerous times, I do not limit myself to a particular skin tone when dating.

Although, there are other members on this board who offer a different opinion than I.

Might I suggest, making those who are most curious, your primary target to bring forth prosperity in your organization?

Bear in mind, most successful interracial relationships never began from seeking a particular person based on skin type. It always stems from the same traits those who prefer to stay within their own race encounter.

Do keep that in mind.

Cheers!

 

Maddy are you from the city?

 

I attended a private, elementary school, junior and senior high school, and university. I've been in relationships with WW as long as I can remember. When I graduated from college, I discovered that white men and black women hated me because I "seemed to be the type that likes white women". So then, perhaps WW and BM are drawn to each other not only for natural attraction - but also because our desire for each other causes us to be rejected by our own. In other words, we have many things in common BECAUSE we are BM and WW...

 

The same way people have goals of making monoracial babies.

You know, like those millions of people that do it worldwide, even on your street that you live. Possibly, the same way your parents have done.

And yes, many people do it with intentions and not just preferences.

What's so funny???

Think about it.....

 

what makes you think europeans hang about on nudey beaches?

the number of folks i know who go those kind of places is zero

if anyone suggested a trip to one i would be dashing off in the oposite direction