Reverse Racism

Hello. I am new to this site, but I am not new to dating bm's. I am a ww who essentially grew up in the southwest and west coast and have been living in the South now for over 5 years and the reverse racism I have experienced takes my breath away. I am currently dating a bm, who had never dated a ww before me, and in the last 9 months I have been the subject of more racist comments than I even care to contemplate. He is a good, strong, ethical, professional man, and we care about each other tremendously but the input he receives from his acquaintances (who interestingly enough don't even know me from a can of paint) is deplorable.

Why in the world is this still going on in 2006? I just don't get it!!! I would love to hear other about other people's experiences regarding the pressure society places on professional bm's and how to handle it.

 

the truth is that that deplorable racism is due to 1)ignorance and a vastly uneducated population 2) blacks have forgotten about what happened to them due to their color--except when they want to use the race card (ala, New Orleans) 3) white liberals let them get away with it because of white guilt and a sense that black people are inferior 4) because, and dont take this the wrong way but--if your man is truly a professional why would he hang around such trash in the first place 5) because the black educators and leaders use reverse racism to play the victim and whine (example tookie williams gets executed and people are protesting while the white men who killed the black man James Byrd gets execution sentence and the same people cheered--thus it was a bunch of crap about being against the death penalty).

the best thing you can do is to sit down and ask your man why he hangs with such people or even listens to it. then decide with each other how to respond to such BS.

good luck and you are Right ON!

 

Thanks for the reply and no offense by the hanging out with trash comment. The only people who are making these ridiculous comments are the rif-raf that he knows from around. His true friends (male and female), on the other hand, are educated professionals as well, and don't have a problem with me being white because we make each other happy. The people who give him the most grief are admittedly only acquaintances who have never actually met me and are quick to give their own personal and racist opinion. I guess I am just surprised that it seems to be OK to be negative about my race but if the tables were turned, there would be hell to pay. I think I just wanted an avenue to discuss this issue and am still open to any comments from any angle. I have been dating bm's for over 17 years now, so none of this makes any sense to me. Aren't we all just humans on the same quest for happiness?

 

it is allowed because it is promoted by our media. check out BET or any black programming--the blacks will make off handed jokes, comments, overtly racist statements about whites and it is accepted but all--i dont hear anyone writing letters to the network about it, but let a white person or programs make steady racist comments about blacks and their is hell to pay to Al Sharptons of this world.

the commentator and author, Larry Elder, wrote a great book a few years back called "10 things you cant say about black people in America" it was a very great attempt to show the double standards and reverse racism in this country and how white guilt and black racism is alive and well.

look at the people who proport to be for diversity and equality, yet would shout anyone down who had a different opinion than them, or who didnt follow the social norms of the majority of the group

 

There is no such thing as reverse racism, JUST RACISM. The monstrosity and stupidity of racism is indifferent to colour.

What you have experienced is "Racism Proxy."


wikipedia describes Racism by proxy is a form of concealed racism. "Instead of openly attacking a hated cultural, ethnic, racial or in some other way distinguishable group, the racist devises a false interpretation of some part of reality, usually human nature, which, if espoused by the group in question, in conjunction with its fundamental values must lead to the dissolution or at least fragmentation and weakening of the group."

 

Eery, I was just going to write that exact thing.

 

sure there is such a thing as reverse racism. racism turned out from the people historically is called reverse racism.

proxy is in place of , which is not the same as reversal. But I accept your right to call it what you like.

I call it reverse racism or reverse discrimination

 

Reverse racism is a joke, racism should be called racism. By putting a special tag on it you're implying that others are naturally racist. And that special tag allows that type of racism to be tolerated. If everyone from all races show racist's that any racism won't be tolerated, we could live in a better society. End all special tags and let us all be treated as equals.

 

silicon, I wholeheartedly agree with you, nice point and way of putting it, thanks.

 

Well put, I could not have said it any other way. By allowing ignorant shit, only begets more ignorant shit. I refuse to believe "whites" are "naturally" racists, whilst "blacks" are only racists because of past endeavours of "whites." Those who make that argument so, use it in ad Ignorantium or Appeal to Ignorance.

The Ad Ignorantium fallacy mimics good reasoning by arguing that a position has not yet been shown to be false, which is a perfectly acceptable argument to make in many cases. However, the Ad Ignorantium fallacy "errs" by trying to make this argument in a context in which the burden of proof falls on the arguer to show that his or her position is actually true, not just that it has not yet been shown false. Since these two issues are closely related, they are easy to confuse.

 

Thank you! Somebody actually gets it.

It may also interested folks to know that whites have been 'reverse racist' ever since 'we' have been. (Well, my ancestors didn't own slaves, affirmative action gave my job away to a Negro, They say the n-word, so we should say it too, blah-blah-blah, etc.)

 

When I argued about how we differ in nature, I wasn't necessarily talking about racism. I was talking about how the racism differs in nature because of our different morals and ethics as blacks from whites. I thought I made that clear.

 

You beat me to it,reverse racism would mean no racism at all, racism is just racism.

 

How does anyone reverse it anyway? :roll:

 

I agree 100% about the fact that racism = racism no matter what race is perpetrating it. I especially liked the comment that "reverse racism" would actually be no racism at all. Dare to dream! I guess the issue that I have been dealing with is the tremendous hatred out there for other people merely because of the color of their skin. Where are people's priorities in determining what makes a human a good person? Of course, I can't even take people seriously who base their decisions primarily on skin color, and after 17 years of dating non-white males I have learned not to give a flying $#&% about what anyone who makes such ignorant and uninformed decisions thinks. I feel like I am seeking some "advice" in this arena, but I am having difficulty verbalizing or pinpointing my issue with respect to my current boyfriend receiving such a backlash from, and I really do hate to say it, primarily black females. I guess the advice I would possibly be searching for is how to handle it with him. I hate that he gets grief over me, we do discuss it, I guess it is probably just one of those things that will just have to play out and it will be what it will be. What are other people's experiences with this type of issue - and I don't mean being the target of racism but rather being with someone who has never dated outside their race and who is getting grief about it. How can I support him while he is in this transition period?

 

yes, dduval, most people to give us the grief will be Black Females and White Males. I dont understand where they feel the need to concern themselves in others business anyhow. Like, when I was single, NOT ONE black woman ever showed interest in me, never gave me the time of day. But as soon as I start dating a nice woman, who happens to be White, all of a sudden I hear crap from black women.

tell us, how is it dating in teh south? what is it like out on the street with people? I grew up there but left due to the fact i could date or have relationship there. what part of the south are you in? I was just down in SC last week and it wasnt too bad.

 

I am in Atlanta and it isn't too bad generally speaking, but he too gets the backlash from black females who would never give him the time of day otherwise, or from ex-girlfriends who catch wind that he is with a ww who suddenly feel the need to voice their unwelcome opinion. When we 1st began dating, I pretty much told him that this would happen, i.e., women coming out of the woodwork with an opinion, and he has seen it first hand and says that none of these women were willing to step up to the plate and be truly good and supportive women to him pre-me, but now they want to talk smack. The main thing is that his friends, both male and female, who have met me are completely supportive of us because, the bottom line is, I make him happy. He is incredibly social, went to undergrad and grad school in Atlanta, and knows a lot of people so there are a lot of opportunities to be exposed to ignorant crap. Inasmuch as I have never been a black professional male in Atlanta, it is difficult for me to truly comprehend what he experiences as a result of this. From what I understand, the pressures are great. He is, fortunately, a very evolved man and I have all the faith in him that he has the personal strength to handle this type of situation. I just want to know what I can do to best support him during this transitional period.

 

interesting, really, as I am a professional black man, having spent most of my life in the south, Atlanta as well as Charleston, New Orleans, Dallas, Nashville, charolotte and I dont know what you mean by pressures?

what pressures?

 

Excellent question...let me see if I can verbalize it. I guess what I am talking about is that there seems to be the issue (stigma) that once a black man becomes successful he "goes out and finds himself a white woman" and the "pressure" that exists by falling into this awful stereotype. Does that make any sense? Again, being that I have never been a bm perhaps that is just my own perception that there is this pressure by society to behave (or not behave) in a particular manner. I am glad you threw the question back to me. It gives me something to think about. Unlike you, I have only lived in the South for 5 years and have only been dating out here for about 9 months. I was in a very long term and long distance relationship prior to that and so dating bm's in the south is very new to me. What problems did you experience when you were dating in the south that contributed to your leaving this region? I am not trying to be nosy, but if you don't mind sharing...I am trying to get an understanding as to what he is going through because from my perspective it is a non-issue. I just don't give a crap what anyone thinks about whom I date

 

Yes, that is one of the stigma's that exist. Denzel Washington can't even get a kiss on the cheek by Julia roberts without black women getting upset.