Relationship is Key

This recession that we are in is a test for a great many relationships. It does takes two to tango as that old expression once reminded us. In todays reality in which both husband and wife or boyfriend and girlfriend realize that the income of one is not enough anymore. To build a substainable future requires teamwork between the two. I have been studying the most successful people in history. In most cases the ones who have been most successful were those in stable relationships in which in most cases there was a hidden person in the background. In most of those cases it was a strong woman for a man and likewise for successful women.

In my case my wife is a multi-tasker, excellent in finances and has an ability to get along with people regardless of who they are. With my own hard driving aggressive approach to use a system approach to solve problems as a manager we work well as a team. We take the same approaches in the home outside of our jobs. Relationship is the key to gain wealth, accomplish goals, and to be the best that each of us can be whether it's her getting that PH.d that I will help her get or getting my own private practice or business someday that she want me to achieve. This only sex thing is a thing of the past. It is now in this new century to forge a new relationship between men and women based on mutual respect, understanding and trust. I do see this more and more with other couples right now that it appears as the economy contracts people in family and couples in relationships seem to be getting closer to each other. A see a mutual bond to work closer together whether to share more of what each other have and to help each other in these hard times.

The man and woman in an IR relationship is most interesting to study. Adversity and challenge is no stranger to them. What I notice in my own situation is that we talk and plan more with each other. There is more give and take. What we do have is a family mission statement to deal with current challenges and to forcast for the future, from dealing with debt and getting out it together, to restructuring our finances and planning for retirement thirty to forty years from now.

Relationship is the key in building for each of us. For those who say sex is the only thing. Wake up.

 

I agree that the current recession has proven to be a test for many couples. At this point you all must work together to conquer any debts or expenses, and the income of one, within a relationship, is not enough. I do not agree that one must be in a relationship to be successful.

I am currently working on my master's degree, and after I graduate in December, I will apply for a doctorate program which will begin the summer of 2010. I have been working toward this all on my own, no long-term boyfriend (although plenty of dates). I do wonder what dating and relationships will be like after I get my Ph.D. It is not easy for many women to find a man who will be a "hidden person in the background." Any man I've met who has been equally as accomplished or more accomplished than me automatically assumes that his professional agenda should come before mine.

As for your comment about the most successful people being in stable relationships, there are plenty of examples of these people cheating on their spouses. There is also a stigma in American society that our most successful people should be married. We've had one bachelor president. Could you imagine if Hillary Clinton had divorced Bill and went back to using her maiden name? She wouldn't have even been considered to run for the presidency. This seems strange since most people know their marriage is a sham, but it's true!

 

Yes, this has been proven over time in many different societies. Furthermore, it has been proven that children raised in such an environment have a better chance to succeed in life.

It is easy to see then, why many nations, including the US, have taken measures to encourage (through tax incentives, property rights, marriage laws, etc) to maintain, protect and promote the institution of traditional marriage.

 

I think the current economy will be a trial for many marriages, but I disagree with some of what you are saying. People can sustain on one income. It is all a matter of priorities. Ultimately, those who built their lives on attaining, will be disappointed and unhappy. More than half of our close married friends live on one income. And some even live on under $40K, happily. :smt102

Also, I disagree with the whole "traditional marriage" being the key to success. We are so short sighted. There are many successful, happy communities who do not follow our traditional marriage rules. If you look beyond the societies tainted with colonialism, you will find many who live traditionally and are happy. This whole idea that our ways are the only way is too confining and intolerant.

 

It has also been proven that children raised by two, lesbian parents fare well, but the U.S. is not allowing them to marry. A child's success is dependent upon the involvement of the adults in their lives (such as grandparents, aunts, uncles, etcetera).

Most studies that favor "traditional" families are examining a two-parent, middle-income household vs. a poverty-stricken, single-parent household. Given the limited amount of money and time a single parent has to dedicate to their child or children, it is not surprising that these are the findings. Unfortunately, many people leap on these studies and incorrectly assess that these findings must also mean that "traditional" families are better than any family that presents itself as an alternative.

It has been discovered by one researcher, in "Flexibility in Parental Unions and Children's Time Involvement with Parents" that children in step-families receive the same parental involvement as children in "traditional" families. I urge you to look beyond what has been prescribed to you as the best family make-up by the government and religious organizations, and perhaps, better research this topic.

Read the section "Traditional Families as the Gold Standard"
http://books.google.com/books?id=kN...yqm7Bw&sa=X&oi=book_result&resnum=8&ct=result

 

Very good post!

 

Thank you!

 

Hmmm. I'd like to see that proof. Although you may be absolutely right, I don't think there is much empirical evidence to validate. Over the next years we surely will have a better idea of how children raised in lesbian households fare.

 

I believe we are human beings (OMG! No way! :smt036) and we need the help of other human beings to accomplish countless different things. Period.
I know, because I have no person who can help me do a single thing at all, or whatsoever. Well, besides food, shelter, and my other most necessary commodities, which my survival constantly demands. Minus any form of healthcare, "extra" education, and transportation.
Anyone can pride themselves in being "independent" all they want to, but the truth is you need other people no matter what or where you may be in your life. There is no such thing as an "independent person". Plus, everyone has something they can contribute to your gradual improvement, development, growth, etc, and so I think being "independent" and refusing someone's aid, just for the sake of being so, is just obstructive. JMO
I don't think that makes a romantic relationship the only key though. Well, for one, I'm in a relationship, but my partner is kind of "incapacitated". He tries to help me the best he can with what he has, but there's just not much he can do because of his own situation, circumstances, and things he has to deal with. So it doesn't matter that I am in a relationship as far as accomplishing things that require money.
I think having any entity willing to help, encourage, and guide you is the key. Always is, has been, and ever shall be. :smt023