Random Conversation 2.0

There is no pm on here.

 

It's the whole fairy tale/fantasy aspect of it. We didn't do the fancy engagement ring or wedding when we got married because my wife wanted to be able to have the nice house more than she wanted the big ring and wedding. And she's the kind of woman who has always loved that kind of stuff and wanted to have it when she got married.

 

I'm on the fence about engagement rings but weddings really seem like a waste. The money would be better spent on the honeymoon.

 

In some ways I think the whole fancy engagement ring /wedding deal is akin to the love of and desire by some women to have kids. My wife also is one of those types as well. She always wanted kids from a very early age and was always doing babysitting or some such as a teen because she liked being around kids and she initially went to collage with the intention of becoming a teacher. She's still fascinated by all things wedding & baby related even after going through both herself. Now that's weird to me...

 

We can not forget that this is also a culture thing. Back home, an engagement ring is a plain gold band for both, with date and name on the inside. Big wedding are very rare. Weddings are usually intimate affairs, and much less money spent on it compared to here... Blingy stuff, big cars etc is not in our culture it's rather frowned upon generally to show off money in any way.

 

True. But some us have learned to be practical. Not enough of us however it seems.

 

For me, I think it's a combination of both being bright I up in a culture that really don't focus on big rings and weddings, and being practical. I just don't get either, never have. I rather spend the money on house, retirement, investments and travel than on a big, expensive ring/wedding. I never dreamt of a big wedding, even as a little child but I was a tomboy anyways.

Also, before I got into big pharma, I couldn't wear jewelry at work anyways because working as a scientist, you will sooner or later ruin your ring or collect lab stuff in it, and you wear latex gloves anyways.

 

70k on a wedding is down right irresponsible! I had a coworker who spent that on her daghters wedding a few years ago. I thought she was insane.in agree, a small intimate affair seems more memorable and appropriate anyhow.if I would have married, it would have been a few family/friends on a beautiful beech or something.

 

Especially if the marriage ends up in divorce!

 

70,000 for a wedding is insane. I can't imagine how the money made any difference. Can't even remember who got married at the last wedding I went to. What a waste of money.

 

This conversation prompted me to talk to my gf about her thoughts about engagement rings.
I told her I don't get it and really don't like the idea of spending thousands of dollars on jewelry. Well needless to say that shit did not go over well in the Knight household lol.
All she kept saying but its tradition its tradition. I would have been more open if she simply said it's just something she wanted but just saying it's tradition is lame. She made it clear no ring, no marriage. I don't want this to be a deal breaker but am I wrong for favoring financial responsibility. What if I lose my job then that's thousands of dollars that could have been spent on food and living expenses. It's not like a car that has utility or at the very least a vacation where its for both of us. I'm beginning to see this whole engagement ring thing is incredibly selfish on the female's part because there will never come a time where a woman can reciprocate in the same way. I seriously don't get it.

 

70k would be better spent on something I can live in and/or drive at least there is some type of utility. My God people are just weird.

 

I see where you coming from when you say it would have been better if she said it was just something that she wanted. Don't really see why it should be a deal breaker tho. If you did lose your job then wouldn't she have your back? If not then that should be the deal breaker.

 

I have no doubt she would, I just like to think ahead financially. Things are good today but doesn't mean they always will be and I think more about need than want. Even shit I want has some utility, like that dream machine the Tesla S. Yeah its a high ass price tag but you spend about 300 to 400 bucks on energy and it can't be charged at home. At least for that high price tag I save in other ways. I just don't get why jewelry means so damn much, it makes no sense. I'd rather her push for something expensive that makes sense and that we both get to use. I'd rather write a check to kill her student loans than the ring thing.

 

Lol@ it makes no sense. You right about that. I guess the difference is that I don't have the expectation of logic in relationships. (or when dealing with people at all for that matter.) I just see an area where I can compromise and another area where I cant, but Im no expert in the matter.

 

That's actually a very insightful way to look at things.