Question for White women

My question is, how do you expect a black male to introduce himself to you in public???..

Ive noticed that women, expect blacks do behave a certain way.

You can be dressed in a 3 piece suit smelling like Cool Water....you sit next to them and they'll squirm in the chair, sigh, look at the time and pop right up within 2 minutes.

But some fool with zig-zag braids in his head rapping to himself and walking crazy sits next to them and they'll start asking him where they can get some good weed....lol...or what's the deal with P.Diddy.

Is this true with most white women?

It didn't make any sense to see these things at first, but then I realized.........

Racism has been so ingrained in our society that all races have been conditioned to be somewhat racist and expect certain behavior from certain people, especially blacks

It's as if women put black MEN in a box and EXPECT us to behave a certain way and regardless of whether we behave good, bad, intelligently, or stupidly.....as long as we behave how they expect us to they often feel more comfortable.....

The minute we shake up thier misconcieved foundations....they no longer feel comfortable and would rather not deal with us at all

whats up with that??

 

My husband is black and in public I expect him to be himself, which is to: walk with dignity, speak properly, open doors and pull out chairs for me, have a pleasant conversation with me, look at me with adoring eyes, smile at me like an angel, and pay no mind to any silliness going on around us... and if he's gonna check out somebody's booty, to do it DISCREETLY.

 

I think it really depends on what kind of woman you are approaching. If you are going for the wannabe black/ Hip Hop chick I am certain she would like all that talk. But for the rest of us I think we just want to be approached with respect, class and a bit of humor to break the ice. There is not one universal recipe but I think checking for non verbal feedback from her, a smile from you and a simple "hi my name is so and so, how are you?" Would do it for me if I am interested.

 

Just be yourself. Try to make eye contact, see if they are interested. Approach them, start a conversation. If they seem extremely nervous because you're black, move on. Some women, and men too, just don't get it, and if they're going to stereotype you, they aren't worth talking to.

 

With respect. And humor never hurts either.

If you come across and spitting lines, I will not give you a second chance. Be yourself, be confident and have fun.

The last guy I dated never had problems. Women approached him constantly, even when I was with him. And he was not rocking baggy jeans and zig zag corn rows. His style was more sporty casual. But, he was seriously good looking, built and funny. Something to think about.

 

Not me.. I'd much rather site next to a man in a business suit who would like to converse.. over the other


I think your reactions are going to be more what the white women is looking for.. the white women who has no black friends, has never dated a BM, may have 'fears' from racists upbringing.. she might get up and move no matter how you are dressed..

A woman who does date BM isn't going to run. If you start up a decent conversation, she'll share it with you.

 

I've had this happen to me and aseen it occur so many times. But I've come to realize that there are two types of WW that will hook up with a BM - you have the WW who are just looking to satisfy her curiosity with the flavor of the century (us), or you have WW who are really serious about wanting to be with a BM for whatever reason. The ones that are just looking to make us their "diversity fuck" of the year are the ones who have those racist expectations that we should look, walk, talk, and act like every BM they've seen on primetime TV. They're excited by the idea of hooking up with a "Lil John" or a "Denzel" or a "Taye Diggs" because that's all they believe we represent and that's all they're looking for...which is actually the same thing many BM do to WW if you're honest. I know BM that don't want a WW unless she is a "Paris Hilton" or a "Rachel Ray". They either want the high-class, skinny slut or the hometown girl model of WW because they are looking to live out a fantasy. Maybe that's what it all comes down to: WW who go after the thuggish guy you mentioned are looking to fulfill a fantasy, not really for love or meaning beyond being able to say, 'I fucked a Black dude one time!" The same with BM who go after stereotypical WW exclusively - they are looking to fulfill a fantasy and not really connect with a WW because of anything more than being able to say, "I fucked a White girl!"

My 2 cents for what they worth.
Peace.

 

This is very true, and honestly this has been my major issue with IR. I haven't had any serious relationships before my husband, but when men noticed me, if it was a white guy at least I knew it wasn't because I was white. It was because he liked something about ME. With black guys I just never knew, and I was always very guarded. VERY guarded. Until you two start talking, of course, and things become more or less clear. Most of the black men I met were African, and a lot of them just wanted that notch on their belt (or a few) before they got married. It's the truth, and with some guys it's just so damn obvious. One dear nineteen-year-old Ghanaian I worked with (and I was a few years older), all of a sudden asked me if I wanted to go on a date. I was like, when did you break up with your girlfriend (she was also Ghanaian)? He's like, nah I just want to go out with a white girl, to see what it's like. :? Thanks sweetie for choosing me as your guinea pig, since I'm the only white girl you know.

But either way, things become obvious pretty early in the game, if you're smart. Just keep your eyes and ears open.

I would like to thank life, and God, whatever he is, because I really did find a rare, special man in my husband. It's ME he came to love when he got to know me, not just some external attributes. It's so amazing to be loved. And (judging by his porn collection) he doesn't discriminate and has no problem with any shade of that ass! :lol:

 

>>> :!:

 

Thank you Moskvichka. I've been hit on solely for being white too - if I had a penny for everytime someone has said "hey white girl"... So don't think as BM you're the only ones looked at as fantasy objects. As for the topic itself, just smile and be polite and respectful, but hold eye contact to show interest. Pretty much the same as talking to any woman. If she's obviously uncomfortable, then clearly she's not for you, so move on.

Also, logically, if a gorgeous, well dressed person comes and sits near you, of course you're going to feel nervous and shy, because of how attracted you are to them - not because of race. So don't automatically think if she's acting a bit uncomfortable, it's because she's racist.

 

I liked the comments. I do try to meet WW in Europe instead of the US. They have less scruples. For me it takes a lot of work.

 

Hi Soul, haven't heard from you in a while, hope you're doing well, you should visit London again soon!

 

And how are WW in North America supposed to improve their attitudes if BM avoid them for Euros? :x All I've seen lately on here are Euro WW's are better than American ones, and I guess that means Canadians too since we pretty much share the same culture. Perhaps Euros are more progressive, I can't really argue that point since i've never been there, but I am sure there are some American WW's who have just as few racial inhibitions, you just gotta find them!

 

I certainly will Ellahara. Loved my visit last September and looking forward to 07.

 

AquaP, I had to admit I have not set foot in Canada and the only Canadians I saw were in London. I thought of visiting the country but changed my mind since it is next to the US and believed the attitudes are the same as well. Also,Canada is not euro enough even if Quebec becomes a country if Harper has his way.

 

I won't deny that many attitudes are similar, but I have had American BM tell me they saw a difference. Still, if ever you change your mind, you would be welcome. Stick to the cities like Toronto or Vancouver and you're fine. Canadians are not like Americans, not completely, but we are the only ones in North America who know that or care.

 

I agree. I generally prefer Canadians to Americans in terms of behavior and personality. Canada is the place to be if you wanna get hooked up with some really nice white women. I've come to Canada a lot and i love it there. No doubt there is still racism there but America makes the individuals of Canada seem like a bunch of civil rights activists. Even the rural areas are seemingly liberal when compared to American rural areas. Canadians are much more friendly which is one of the reasons i prefer them.

 

AquaP you are a good representative for the Great White North. The hearts of WW are warm inspite of the weather.

 

Canadians are OK.

Coming from me, that means they're fantastic people. I'm not one for hype!!!

I've met plenty of nice Americans but they are a product of their history and shouldn't be judged as one massive group.

 

I hate all the comparisons of American Women to other countries. America to begin with is very vast and we are all different right here in the states. I was raised just south of the Canadian border and yet because I'm American it means I'm not as sweet and kind and caring?