Question: BM always ask have you ever dated a BM

Maybe- I am not sure. There is a hard competition between wm/bm, but really hard between bm/bm, from friend to friend. My experience with meeting the mens friends wasn´t nice to be honest. Phone calls from them with the intention to get a dating, till serious threats, if they didn´t get their will.

 

I have never encountered a girl pose such a question despite the hue difference in terms of complexion. The person sounds inexperience cutipye. Any man with experience would not care if you embarked an interracial relationship in your lifetime. Only the inexperience will “test the waters” with such propaganda

Cheers!

 

Then why have you dated more wm than bm?

That right there is part of it, we never know what ya'll want.
If you what of told a black man that without adding the last part,
could you blame him for asking? Could you blame anyone for thinking
that you maybe into wm more by you being with white men more?

I think alot of the brothas is right, we are a phase & fad to some ww out there. I remember when Michael Strahan or Amani Toomer I think it was
got a divorce from their white wife and they had mention in court that the wife wasnt really interest in bm like that. The media has a strangle hold on alot of women's thoughts on what is sexy in a man and ALOT of it is in favor to white men. But with that being said I wouldnt ask I would just see how the relationship go to give the benefit of doubt and If I see
things like she is not that interested in me whether its because Im black or not I would bring up where are we going in this relationship, and If I dont like her answer we are done. So I wouldnt ask because Im experienced in the dating world enough to know if someone is not fully in this relationship.

 

When I was in my late teen years and early 20s, I was asked if I had dated bm before by some. It seems like now that I normally get asked 'why I date bm.' I really hate being asked that question. I understand why they ask it, but why do I date a man of any race? It's because there is an attraction there physically and mentally and because he seems like someone that I would like to get to know better. I do have a natural preference for black men, but I don't see it as any different as having a preference for hair or eye color. If you have a natural preference for blondes but you meet a great brunette, are you going to pass on a wonderful opportunity just because he/she doesn't fit your natural preference? I hope the answer is no, and that is the way that I feel. When I meet a good man, his skin color doesn't matter to me.

 

well i asked few times in the chat but usualy because nothing else to talk and maybe start talking lol
but i dont think i will ask anyone in person maybe after a long time.. i dont see it bad if people ask either ..

but asking why i dont think i will ask this .. like many said its a preference..we all have... my most preference is blond and blue eyes and if i said this then most people cant understand how can i like a bm...

now if they ask me what i like about bm thats something i can not answer as not sure myself yet ...and i dont think i will now, as i see no point .

anyway like i said its not bad to ask i guess more is when to ask this questions..

 

Well I think good is automatic just like nice, honesty, ambitous, so
I dont think that would fit in with other preferences unless someone would want a bad guy that treats them horribly. Like I prefer a big booty girl, but of course I would want them to be nice good girl that would do me right, Im not looking for a big booty girl to do me wrong.

I think people are looking at this preference thing especially when it
comes to race as shallow more then it actually is. I think when its heard
everybody first reaction is to think shallowness not really knowing that person and not knowing maybe their preference is only one of the things
they look for in a person.... Instead they probably thinking they hear somethin like they only like bm, so they automatically think that is the only thing they look for in a person.

Remember we all know somebody that has a type and have always dated
that type and does alright in their dating life. Celebrities like hugh hefner has been dating blondes for yrs, nicole ritchie likes em pasty white and tatted up, she married with kids with her type, carmello anthony likes latinas and redbones(lightskinned black women) he and lala have a child together and married or engaged(i think) Doutzen Kroes & Khloe Kardashian prefers black men and obviously they arent missing anything they are happy.

 

I'm gonna co-sign Tuck on this one.

Why wouldn't we ask?

It's not the first question I have, but when I first meet a prospect ww, it's certainly in the back of my mind. Especially considering the women I'm attracted to....the more "suburbia" type of woman.

Black men are the most stigmatized, reviled, despised race of man on this planet...rarely projected in a positive light.

When I meet Ms. Suburbia...

Is she looking to satisfy some fetish?
Is she rebelling for selfish reasons?
Is she experimenting?

...or is does she genuinely appreciate a progressive, intelligent, refined urban male? Does she peer through the smoke and propaganda of mainstream media respresentations of bm to see whom we really are?

...so why wouldn't I eventually want to know more about your dating background? I want to know what I'm dealing with.

It's only natural.

 

I wasn't meaning that a person being 'a good person' is a preference. I was just saying that my mind is open to endless possibilities for mates. I don't have one particular type and ignore all other men that don't fit that mold. Most of my close friends tell me that they never know what to expect when I tell them that I'm dating someone new. I enjoy a variety of men. There is nothing wrong with having a preference and sticking with that type. I wasn't meaning to knock anyone for doing that if it makes them happy. I just hate having to explain why I like bm to bm that have just introduced themselves to me. It's not a fetish or sexual thing. I've just met some really great bm in my life that I wanted to get to know on a more personal level. It wasn't because they were black. It was because they were great human beings, who happened to be black.

As far as wanting to date a good person is a given, have you never known a guy that dated a complete bitch just because she was hot or a woman that dated a man that was an asshole because he had a nice car or money? I think for the most of us we are looking for a person that is going to treat us right, but different people have different ideas of what it takes to be treated right. Some people can be bought with money and others can be bought with great sex. It's all in that individual person's perception. It doesn't necessarily mean that the person they are with is nice, honest or good.

By the way...Happy Birthday, Kenny. I hope you have a great one. artyman:

 

I think that is the key to all this. I don't mind answering questions about who I have dated in the past, but it doesn't need to be the second question after 'What's your name?' If you want to ask me after we've gone out a few times, feel free. I'll be more than happy to answer your questions.

We've missed you, Intrique.

 

:smt060...aawww, my lil'boo-boo bear....we're never far apart, after all, we are fraternal twins:smt004

When we ask, it's not meant to be an interrogation and I can fully understand how it may seem disingenuous.

However, many bruthas like myself have experienced women with hollow goals and insincere interests to satisfy some superficial selfish desire....it seems I've recently experienced this again myself.

Now, being the nasty-dude I am...and I've done plenty of nasty-things, no doubt...an insincere romp in the hay is certainly apart of my track-record.

However, the mature-side of me(believe it or not,...I'm a grown-up..it sucks:sad yearns for something of substance...a woman who looks beyond the facade and perceptions to seek out whom I really am (good luck with that mission).

So, it's not that we want a detailed account of your dating record, we're just looking to piece together what your true interests and intentions are...and that usually starts with "what is your experience with the most reviled yet celebrated man on earth"...the black-dude:smt004

When we figure that out, we can then decide if we want to put on the Mandingo-Cape, or let the "Cliff Huxtable" inside of us to shine and become the model husband/companion.

 

Aww, you always know how to make a lady feel special. That's why we adore you. :smt055

I understand what you are saying, and I understand why you would want to know. You don't want to be treated as a sexual object. However, isn't this something that you will find out during the course of dating someone and not a question that is required to be asked in the first few minutes of meeting? As a female, I think that we go through some of the same things when we first meet a man. Is he looking for someone to connect with and have a relationship, or is he just looking for a good time? When you first meet someone, you never truly know what his/her intentions are. If his/her intentions aren't honorable, it will be revealed very quickly. How would you feel if after walking up to a lady and saying 'Hello, my name is Intrigued, and I would love to get to know you better', she replied 'so, are you just wanting to fuck me?' I'm thinking that an honorable man like yourself would be insulted that she would even assume all you wanted was sex. I always feel after being asked why I date bm immediately after meeting that he is assuming it is just for sexual reasons, which I find insulting.

 

:smt025...my lil' lil rosey buttered-biscuit, you bring up a very valid point. I, myself, personally, am always cognizant of this. This is the last thing that I want - definitely don't want her to feel pigeon-holed either. It's a direct relationship to the very thing that I attempt to avoid, so I must be conscientious of this. Hence, it's never my first question.

She needs to get a feel for me first, so she understands that my intellect is beyond just XXX. However, at some point, I need to be able to flesh her out and discern what her objective is.

I know a lot of guys on here prefer that a woman has 'experience' when they get involved with them. However, I don't mind if she's never been with a bm, that's not the issue. It's her goal and intentions that I'm concerned about. It's all about balance.

Now if I can find a sincere Snowbunny with the 'freakousity' level of a GirlieGirl (Conservative/educated woman during the day - my nasty lil' subserviant mistress during the night).....then I can die in peace.

 

Oh okay, I just you know it would sound alot better if people talk about pertaining to their own dating life because for an example just because this type will make you happy doesnt mean it will make somebody else.
All I can say about black men asking you this is.. they probably dont want to get hurt and know that you are in it for the right reasons just as MANY women wants a man who doesnt cheats, I brotha that dates ww wants a ww who isnt dating him JUST because he is black. Because those types who dates people based on one thing usually fizzles out and they go look for what they are REALLY attracted to. Because they have nothing else to go by other than he is black and thats all. And I have seen black men do the same thing with white women as well. People just want to date people that are down... if thats what they want cant blame them too much for asking, because thats what THEY want for THEIR dating life. Like me I want to date a down ass whitegirl, who got flavor, street smart, fly... So if I ask someone how down she is and what not, thats me trying to figure out if she is my type thats all, and that maybe happening with alot of you on here.

People who want to be treated bad or dont want a nice person is the ones always saying where are all the good men/women at? And I say you wouldnt have to say that if you would date one. I think those people get caught up in the fascination instead of the attraction. Like I said before people get fascination mixed up with attraction alot and thats what you get, people going towards people they wouldnt really deep down date.

Oh and thanks for the birthday wishes.