public display of affection

OK, advice please (Don't laugh iffey'swifey - need help!)
my fella does not hold my hand or put his arm around me when we are out in public. what do i do?
have talked bout it but he says he just never has.
what throws me is when we go out at night - he does!
it's really bugging me - so what do i do?
thanks

 

I love PDA, perhaps becuase of being around the latino culture. your BF is proudly trying to keep you safe from people who hate IR couples and if they think you are together and really lovers not just friends, skin heads and racists might attack you

 

As if I'd laugh! Sorry but I really don't have any advice, and who'd take relationship advice from a divorcee anyway!

Everyone's different, some see public displays of affection as tacky, while other don't bat an eyelid...I'm somewhere in the middle. I dislike seeing excess kissing, you know the sloppy teenage grope style. And also the possessive, marking your territory stuff. But normal natural affection giving is OK.

Your man probably feels more of a need to protect you n the evening, hence the arm around the shoulder etc. And I agree with the above post, he may be concerned about racists etc so doesn't want to draw attention to you both. But maybe (as he said) he's just not like that. I used to be the same, but have gradually warmed to it.

 

As outsiders, all of us in this forum can only speculate on the reasons he doesn't show you the affection you desire in public... We can relate our personal experiences and offer advice, which may or may not help you. I would suggest you address your feelings, impressions and questions directly to your man... Tell him what you are experiencing, how you feel when it happens, what you would really desire in said situations. You also need to understand how he feels about the subject and what he is experiencing in the same situations. The only way to bridge the gap you describe is talk about it with the source...

... ain't understanding mellow?....

 

i have spoken to him bout it, and he just says that it isn't something he's done for anyone - it just doesn't occur to him. so i say if he realised how important it was for me, he'd do it.
but then he just never does.

 

That guy should get loose. Also,I would never be so reticent towards my girlfriend especially in the UK.

 

I think he is worried about the anti-IR individuals roaming about too, and part of it could be a 'macho guy' thing...

but, I guess you can talk with him more about it, and try to work out some sort of compromise. I can't say that he's ashamed to be with you, because it doesn't seem that way to me.

Tash, are you getting a divorce?

 

Some guys like it others dont... personally PDA doesnt bother me... dont date someone you arent proud enough of to hold their hand in the first place.

 

Right on, Civic.

 

Too much of anything is bad. While I don't do the sloppy kissing in public, I have done other things that can certainly qualify as affection. For example, I often play with my ex- girlfriend lips and sometimes kiss her cute little nose. (in public). She loved it and I love the way it made her feel. Hence, I did it in public. I did have a long french kiss (longest for me) in public once. There was an older lady frantically staring at my girlfriend and I in a restaurant. I said "why don't we give her something to think about". I pulled her closer and stuck my tongue in her mouth and just kept going and going and going! ( Like that energizer battery commercial). The lady blushed and couldn't bring herself to look at us again.