Post here if you're race-specific in your desiring

I never feel like that, I suspect you see women as "belonging" to men, therefore white women "belong" to white men etc, and so sometimes it makes sense for you to see yourself as getting revenge on white men when you're with a woman.

Me, I don't think of men at all when I'm with a woman, and because I don't think that being the same color as someone makes them have any claim to you, I don't think me making love to a white woman has anything to do with white men.

Also, I know most of you guys are American, but it depresses me actually that the IR scene is so America-dominated, I think the US culture is kind of crap and doesn't do anyone any good. "Black" in American just means Gangsta, Thug, Nigga, Poor etc, and "White" in America just means racist uptight peckerwood.

Britain is different to that, so it's a little difficult for me to put myself in your shoes, we have racism here too but Americans just seem get more into the idea, this "sexing a white woman is revenge on the white man" business is a classic example of what I mean. In Britain people wouldn't bother with that sort of thinking, if you're racist you content yourself with regular normal racism, if your not, you just live your life and to you people are people. America is alot more segregated that way, you guys get very weird about some things.

Also, I don't see what the point of talking about "white" people is when discussing racist history anyway, what have the people of Finland ever done to you or yours? Sure, white Americans, Brits and French and Dutch were racist in history, but whn will America wake up to the fact that all the crap in it's history goes deeper then just skin-color? Not all whites are American and I refuse to accept yopu blaming the people of Estonia for what white Americans have done, same thing black people who have nothing/want nothing to do with the American context.

 

Some excellent points. I didn't know you were in the UK...are you English? I thought maybe you were Nigerian.

The scene here is extremely different, much less "them and us".

 

That first remark was very insensitive, disrespectful, and showed some racism. I mean if a w/w told me she was sleeping with me "because she knew it would make her family pissed off and they have many social problems with black people", I would feel really awkward, used, and probably would avoid any further contact with her even if she was beautiful.

When I see a very attractive BW with a WM, I don't get mad, I actually am happy to see other people feel the same about IR as I do. I mean yea, I wouldn't mind having a relationship with that beautiful BW(which--in my opinion--can be "rare" in certain cities/states), but at the same time, she's obviously doing something that makes her happy and it doesn't make me jealous in any way. If only more b/w had relationships non-black men, maybe there would be more racial tolerance.

 

After re-reading through the thread, I didn't see that post in it. Must've been deleted.

 

I know I am going to get a lot of heat from this. But here it goes.

Maybe some of you had sooo many bad experiences with Black women because of your own attitude and perception.

A woman can sense when they are desired or not. Many of you claimed that you did not have a great physical attraction to Black women in the first place. NOBODY LIKES TO BE SEEN AS SECOND OR THIRD BEST. When you are into a woman it is going to show in your conversation and your actions. Women are good investigators and have that "six" sense. If you knew you were not very interested in Black women, you had no business trying to date them in the first place.

Maybe the BW treated you the way they did b/c they figured out that you weren't really into them from the beginning, and had negative feelings about BW, and,FOR SOME OF YOU NOT ALL, Black people, in general. Thus, they treated you as YOU TREATED YOURSELF.

I am a firm believer that you attract what you expect. If you had a greater appreciation of the physical beauty of Black women and their qualities, you probably would have attracted a positive BW and had a better experience. However, many of you already had a lower viewpoint of BW--physically and quality--from the start. That's probably why you experienced what you did. You zeroed in on their flaws and passed over their beauty.

For example,

I met a Black male who prefferred to physcial attributes of WW and who preferred their qualities over BW. However, he expressed it in an indirect manner. Now, he did date BW, but claimed to have negative experiences with them--referring to their promiscuity, going for the thugs, and the list goes on. He also claimed he was "color-blind", and he got along better with WW. He did a whole BW bashing for the whole first 30 minutes I talked to him. Furthermore, he constantly criticized the Black community as a whole. He would continously tell me I am different from the rest of the BW he has met. Complimenting me. I felt sorry for him that he had such negative experiences, however, I was still irritated. The final blow was when we went out for an early morning breakfast and he complimented me on my looks and put the big one on me--"I HAD GOOD HAIR" because in so many words he claimed didn't look "course or nappy". Lord have mercy on me, I was about to do a "Linda Blair" from the Exorcist. After that, I was through with the man, dating anyway. I did not curse him out, I did not yell at him, but decided that was the end for me. When he did call me later that week--I kindly let him informed him that "we were just different people" and I did not see us being together. It would be best to remain associates or friends. After the turn down, he never called back. I would have loved to be just friends with him b/c he was really a sweet person, he treated me with respect with the exception of the BW bashing, and I think we could have learned a lot from each other. Now, I think with all the insults I received that night, I was pretty good towards him. However, many BW would not have been so kind.

He should have been like my other friend, whom I never had a relationship with but a couple dates, who claimed he was much more physically attracted to light skinned women and made no apologies for it. Even being as bold to say very dark-skinned Black women should find whatever they could get, because they are ugly as Hell. I know it is wrong, but I couldn't help but to be humored. I asked him what about me--being middle brown--he said I was just O.K. At least I knew where I stood, and we could move on from there. HE WAS DIRECT AND HONEST. He had enough respect for me as a person, including my feelings to not straddle me along. Eventually, we did develop a very deep, meaningful and loving bond.

I would hate to to play second fiddle, a constellation prize, or in the meantime till I get a WW role. Alot of BW feel the same way--that's probably one of the reasons why some of you guys got your feelings hurt. Sound like you need "A Waiting To Exhale" movie--male version.

As I was taught there is something good in everybody, and when you put out good energy, good energy will come back to you--this has nothing to do with race or color and everything to do with attitude and perception. If you expect bad from anyone, you will receive it, if you expect goodness, you will get it. If I only focused on all the bad BM I have encountered in my life whether I dated them or in passing, then I would have missed out on MOST of the beautiful BM who has taught me so much about life, spiritual enlightenment, and how to love and be loved. At the end of the day, every bad thing that I have experienced with SOME BM are universal to ALL people regardless of gender and ethnicity. I saw these Black men as a men and a human beings first, not as Black men. I viewed my experiences as just the trials and tribulations of relationships not just Black relationships. All of us are flawed.

Positive people attract positive people regardless of skin color, ethnicity, or religion. All you can do is be righteous, live your life right, treat the other person how you would want to be treated, leave out your pre-conceived notions, and you will be blessed with whoever it may be.

Now, I know some people are going to call me a troll and etc... Fine.

I have enjoyed my run on this site and learned a great deal about IR relationships. Again, your posts were very interesting and I purposely put myself "out there" b/c I wanted to know your responses. Interracial relationships between BM/WW have always interested me b/c these were the IR relationships I have been exposed to the most since I was a child and they are the most controversial. I wanted to know what was in the mind of BM who preferred and/or exclusively dated WW. Instead of asking another BW, I decided to get it from 'the horse's mouth".
Well, hope all of you have wonderful lives filled with joy and it has been an experience being part of this website. I have truly enjoyed it. However, I think it is best that I leave this website to those it is intended. This website is intended for, BLACK MEN AND WHITE WOMEN.

Peace.

Jacklyn

 

That was well said. All of it.
I never viewed you as a troll.

If you did find what you were looking for from the members of this site then that's a good deal but I think the true answers are far too many and far too deep to gather from the random post of any website.

I respect truth seekers because the truth is what we, all of us, should be about.

Good luck to you Jacklyn.

Kevin.

 

:smt006 BYE :!:

 

Why not? No matter how open-minded a person is, or how attracted they may be to someone else of another race, it's normal for him or her to initially date within their own culture. As a white woman, I will never understand what it means to be black. No matter how much I read about it, or how many black friends I have that are willing to discuss the issues they've face in today's society, I can never truly empathize because I don't face those same issues. So, isn't it natural to be with someone who shares your culture, and who understands how you feel when you experience ignorance, stupidity and racism? Yes, i think it is, and I think that is what the BM on this site have tried to do, because I'm sure you've all had issues with your white girlfriend or wife not comprehending issues or feelings that are important to you.

However, the consensus on this forum at least seems to be that the BM did not find the compassion they sought. And, as was numorously stated, their realization of their attraction to ww, and their decision to act on those primal instincts were based on personal experiences, and I certainly can't fault them after reading what I have.

I think there are a lot of proud BM on this forum. They are proud to be black and proud of their culture. Treating a man like crap because he isn't "into you" is a very shallow thing to do. They should have just walked away instead of proceeding to treat these men so deplorably. They say revenge is a dish that is best served cold, but it is the one that dishes it out who will feel the coldness and bitterness in her heart for years to come. It has been my experience that vengeful people can't let go, no matter what they do to assuage their feelings of rejection or betrayal.

Where is the beauty in being rejected by a member of your own race because you value education, and because you are open-minded enough to interact with people of different cultures? Where is the beauty in someone who takes out her feelings on her man and expects him to be her virtual punching bag, or the woman who takes him for everything he's got and then throws him to the curb like a piece of garbage? There is none, and that goes for women of all races. Not all ww are gems of perfection, either.

My feeling is that the BM did endeavour to develop honest, loving relationships with their BW. Am I wrong?

I have to agree with you there. However I also think that BM and BW will never see eye to eye on this issue. There are always going to be BW who feel hurt and rejected by BM because they aren't white women, and there will always be black men who will be criticized by BW because they are viewed as sellouts. It is human nature to judge others, either by what our own experiences teach us or what our family and friends teach us. I think all of us on here were meant in some way, be it divine or natural evolution, to see beyond colour and love those outside our race. I hope one day little white girls and little black boys can accept their preferences without having to question it and without having these negative experiences. Unfortunately, it isn't as accepted in North American culture at least, so there is going to be hurt feelings all round.

Oh but I wish it were so! I am a very positive person--I take pride in myself, i am self-confident and secure, I look for the good in those around me, I treat people with kindness and respect, and I want nothing more from people than to be loved/liked by them, and to give me the opportunity to love and support them in return. Yet I have encountered many people who did not treat me the way I treated them, and who only cared for the tangible, visible substances in life. If I allowed myself to be disrespected, and if I were a negative person, I would probably attract more of these kinds of people. But it's a fact that bad people will take advantage of good ones because, as the saying goes, you can't play a player.

I hope your experience on this site was positive, even though you obviously don't agree with most of the BM on here, and the feeling is returned by some of them. I enjoy your posts, and I do not think you are a troll. Even though I disagreed with almost everything in your post, I still value your opinion because it gives me a different perspective on this issue. If you do decide to leave, I wish you happiness and good health, and if you decide to stay, i look forward to reading future posts and discussing other issues with you.

 

I'm attracted to beautiful girls of all backgrounds but I have a deep aesthetic affinity for white women.

 

Oh, it's the black man's fault. That's a really new way of looking at it. I've never heard that before. I'm gonna do a whole lot of soul-searching over that. Thanks for opening my eyes.

 

That's an awesome way of putting it AquaPeach. I def. agree. I think it takes a really special and unique kind of individual to see things that way and to go against what everybody else/society wants for us. There's not many like us in the entire world. We are unique individuals indeed. :wink:

 

By the way Jacklyn, i really enjoyed reading your posts and hearing some things from your perspective. Best wishes to you! :wink:

 

I am attracted to the features of many white women (which includes their white skin) because they are aesthetically and sexually pleasing to me, not because of their race. The particular women I am attracted to have the most wonderfully inviting personalities as well. The woman of my dreams, for example [she's in my signature]...

Before I met her back in December, she was nameless and faceless to me...she was simply the one I have been fantasizing about all of my life. But she has every conceivable physical feature from head-to-toe that I adore in many white women. I just never thought I could find them ALL in just ONE woman! It's phenomenal! Beyond aesthetics, her personality matches mine in all of the right ways and for all of the right reasons. When God brought us together a couple of months ago, it was the beginning of my life-long heaven.

Bottom line on the physical level, I am attracted to her (which is the understatement of the century) because she is the reason I am attracted to white women mentally, aesthetically, and sexually. I'm an equal opportunity romantic, but there is nothing wrong with preferences. I completely agree with the sentiment that preferences are all good as long as they are based on features and not the race itself.

 

Yes, we are, and everyone has their own reasons why they are attracted to BM or WW. It's unfortunate that people can't accept it for what it is--attraction, physical preference--and just move on instead of trying to blame it on something. A person can't help what he or she is attracted to or why, and he or she shouldn't have to answer for it.

 

Well Aqua in the end it really should come down to each individual however this becomes an issues when some people make big sweeping generalizations about another group of people.

It has been said before that the women on this site don’t put down white guys for the most part but there are some guys here who seem to be harder on black women. I don’t really see it as much as I once did but what some people are saying is “Look if you like white women then that’s fine but don’t toss me under the bus because of it.”
I totally understand that.

If this is a site about black guys and white women then that’s what it should be about.
With the exception of Pearl Jr. and one person named Brownie from a while back, I think the very few black women that have come here or are still here are cool.

As a black guy, I have no problem at all with black women who mate outside of the race BUT when I hear all of the “there are no good black men left because all of the good ones are in jail or gay…” BS – I draw the line.
Well that what other people are doing too.

My attraction to white women has zero to do with black women who I find attractive as well as many other women by the way.

 

Here, here!!! Well said.

I prefer Black men. Pure and simple. I love the way they move. I love that they are so much more comfortable with their sexuality. I love their gentle nature and their sense of social justice. I love their strength in dealing with the b***s*** that they endure on a daily basis. I love their willingness to help out around the house before asked. I love their gratitude when I love on them, rub their back, and let them know that, at least in this house, they are the head of the household. This does not make me passive, dominated, or feeling "less than". This makes me happy because it makes them happy. For everything I do for my man, he returns the favor many times over.

Having said that, I am called, by my white friends, a racist because I am not even interested in looking at a white man. But as the initial post pointed out. I have one friend (white) who will only date white men with "nice teeth, good shoes, and a ton of money", yet she sees nothing wrong with calling ME a racist for my preferences!

One has to be strong to endure societies' reaction to interracial dating but the rewards more than make it worth it!!!

 

Very well put. I appreciate your insight.

 

I agree.

 

Pretty Much

 

The Attraction Between....Post Here if desire is specific.

I am posting in this section because my desire is specific.But may I say, that it's a preferred "dynamic" or "aesthetic," rather than saying it's "race" specific?I say that because I'd be dating an individual, not an entire race. And then, past that, my ideal desire will be a soulmate that relates to me as a person;as I will for them. Thanks.