Post here if you're race-specific in your desiring

I'm tired of all the time having to read the same bullshit about how we are all exactly the same and there are no differences between us and how it's bad and evil and wrong to enjoy being with somebody because you like their skin-color.

Why go to a site that styles itself as for people interested in Interacial Dating or Interracial Sex, and then spend the whole time on it saying how it makes absolutely no difference to you what color a person is, with an air of condascention for those to whome it does matter, as if that makes them commodifiers of humanity?

I agree with this woman quoted on that other thread (I started this one to home in on this particular issue):

Fucking-A. I came to this site because I'm race-specific sexual desire-wise. I don't see how that makes mne a 'bad pewrson', or how people can claim that I therefore don' love my girlfriend or something. Men who like blondes, or women who like tall men, or men who are gay and only date men, or women who have a thing for Italians, none of thesetypes have to put up with the bullshit of being told that because they like what they like and seek it out, that therefore means they don't know the true value of love or are just objectifying people etc.

It's one thing to think that, and fair-play we can all have our opinions, many people have froth-at-the-mouth intolerant how-dare-they! type attitudes to people who are attracted to those of another race, but I think it's even stupider to think that and yet spend your time on a forum called white women and black men. what's weirdest of all, is that this kind of heteroracial unfriendly people who poor scorn on people who specificaly fancy people of a certain race, are actually in the frikkin majority here! How does that make any goddamn sense?

And the quality of conversation is terrible, it's all crap about some celebrity, or blanket terms about white women this or black men that.... for people who are so down on a person for liking a girl because she's (everything she is) AND White or a liking a man because he's (everything he is) AND Black, they sure come out with alot of racial genralisations...

I just like white women because their pale skin gives me the major horn, their silky hair is so sensuous and their eyes can be so purty, and their thin-lips and neat fine-featured faces generaly turn me on... all quite physical sex type reasons basically, I don't credit any deeper differences racially. But it seems to me that many who make a big withering noise about people who are like me, turn out to be the most racially-preoccupied there is, and many seem to be on this here forum.

 

well yeah it matters for me as a preference, based more on how we are similarly matched than on the color, but my first preference is WW

 

Well, I agree with you, but I would describe my preference as a "visual" preference instead as a "racial" preference.

Just like other people might be attracted to blonde hair or red hair, blue or green eyes, I am attracted to curly dark hair, full lips, dark eyes and all the other facial features which are usually considered to be "black" features.

Why I wouldn't describe my preference as a "racial" preference? Well, have a look at this picture:



Now, while I think that Roy Wilkins (left) is incredible handsome and Thurgood Marshall (right) is okay looking, I wouldn't be attracted to Walter Francis White (middle) at all. Yet all 3 of them are considered to be "black" men, or "negros", as it was the common term back in their time.

To me, my visual preference is as normal as any other preference, and I refuse to justify or explain my preference to people who are trying to rape and poison my mind with their racial concepts.

 

I wholehearted agree with you on using the terms you did. My paternal grandparents are whiter than white and all my dads family is. Many dont even know they are negroes but because they are mixed, in the US that means they are negroes not biracial as we know is the correct terminology.

so I have a color preference, too,

 

Yes, it's crazy, isn't it? Racial concepts are so insane, just look at Walter White and think about how he got in trouble for marrying a "white" woman. Ridiculous.

I wonder if people can be just humans one day.

 

Sounds good to me.

 

To me there's a difference between liking someone BECAUSE of their race and liking features OF someones race.

I can say that I like my man's skin and certain features etc, but they're not why I'm with him. I appreciate all the physical attributes that he has, but just as I would any other man. I get turned on when I see the differences between us but it's not a fetish and nor is it a buzz in the form of "Ooooh, I'm with a black man", it's just something I find attractive.

I must also say that I think there's a difference between how IR is viewed depending on what race you are. When a black person, mainly a man, says he likes white skin or even prefers it on a woman, out come the "lost African" and "slave mentality" jibes...in other words people think he is admiring white skin as better than his own. But when a white woman does exactly the same, likes black skin or prefers it in her partners, she is often viewed as racist and her preferences are seen to be demeaning the black man somehow, that she is looking down on him. I know whites have "the power", but I think it's very unfair that EXACTLY the same appreciated is perceived very differently purely because of your race.

 

So far, the only thing I don't agree with is the use of the term 'negro'. I find it demeaning...

and, I understand what Swan is saying here though. But, despite all of the eye-candy celeb threads that people inquire about, there are OTHER threads throughout the forums that are far more thought-provoking, if you take the time to actually go back and read through them, but in this site, we cover it all on black men/ white women relationships, as anyone who doesn't know it yet shall see.

Like I have said before more than once, having a skin preference is fine, but the reasons behind it, depending on you , may NOT be, and a good example of how they may not be would be the ever-popular Personals Section of this site, which 99% of us seem to all be in agreement about.

 

I dont mean to demean you. I am black and we use Negro, though I know some of the younger generation uses African American. I like negro, while I dont like the term the younger generation uses in front of whites even, Nigga!! that to me is demeaning and horrible, but I dont like to censor or be censored,

use the term that you like Sardonic, thats cool with me. I use black and Negro, some times colored if I am talking to other black people who know the history past the politically correct 90s, but i typically use black or negro, i hate African American term. I will use American of African descent though


Peace

 

I don't say the n-word, (or 'nigga') because there is no legitimate reason for any of us to use it, or white people.

I only use black most of the time. To me, that term sounds more like I'm referring to myself as someone who is black, and not some-THING, unlike negro, but hey, that's just me.

 

I, in no way, condone the usage of either word but apparently, there's a difference between "nigger" and "nigga". Nigger is the word created by the white man to refer rudely to blacks. Nigga is the modified word created by blacks as a word of endearment towards each other. As we all know, it is used offensively at times but that was supposedly the initial cause of discovery.
I condone the usage of neither. I find both words as demeaning and cringe when blacks use it to refer to each other. I would never say i haven never used it before but i stopped using it like sometime in 1995, when my father heard me drop the word and called me, sat me down and engaged me in a very serious, heartfelt and candid conversation. I was so moved with remorse and complacence at the same time that i swore never to use the word again. He told me things that just made me look like an utter idiot and i told my friends to try not to use it either. Some still did but the sensible ones heeded my words.
The words should never be, under any circumstances be used. They are derogatory, unjustifiable and racist in itself. Amin, my best friend is very cool with me; we're like brothers but we often argue over the usage of that word. He drops the word like a name and i really dont find it comfortable but i've accepted it as part of him. But he's learnt his lesson when an ex-girlfriend of mine, ironic enough, called him "nigga" to his face. He found it offensive but i told him he is partly to blame. Why? Because the outward and intrepid usage of that word made my girlfriend believe that he was comfortable with being called that. So i told him that i'd make her apologize to you on the condition that you never use that word in her presence, or if you can, ever again. I understood his frustrations but to me, he caused it. When black folks refer to each other like that, they make it seem acceptable to be called the word.
Some say they hate it more when whites use it but i cringe more when blacks use it to refer to each other. Its like two criminals who are being punished for a similar crime and they are beating each other up for the same reason- committing a similar crime. Ponder that analogy and those who are smart would get the picture and see what i am trying to say.
When i want to refer to a black person, i say "brotha" or "sista". I never use the word nigga because there is no explicable reason to.

 

in total agreement, i never use either of those words. But I use the word Negro, just like i use black. I am more offended by the word but essentially they do mean the same thing (black in Spanish is Negro, and as i am a native spanish speaker, i know it is not meant in a demeaning way by the people). so i am more comfortable with the word negro, but black is cool too. just like we still use, United Negro College Fund and the National Assoiciation for the Advancement of Colored People--just semantics, which are still accepted today, whether the PC police like it or not

 

i use the negro word as well as the term black to refer to a black person. Negro means "black" in Spanish and black in Latin is "niger". So when it is used in ordinary terms, i take no offence. But if a white dude came in my face and said, "You damn negro", i swear i'd thump the freaking hell out of him. :lol:

 

oh yeah, i would be popping and locking on him so fast, black folks would be saying, Tuck dont hurt him (too bad). ha ha

 

To add to this (sort of), a few days ago I came across a calendar with very nice photos of semi naked black fella. "This is nice" I thought, until I saw the name of it was "Noir", which I thought made it a bit tacky.

 

Yes, there are definitively major double standards. Everybody is "allowed" to have a preference without being asked to talk to a psychiatrist to find out their "real" motives and without being accused of having a "fetish". Nobody is asking a white man to check if his reasons to be attracted to a blonde woman are the "right" or the "wrong" reasons. But as soon as someone is crossing the (imaginary) "colorline", he or she must have some mental problems, a hidden agenda or must have a "fetish", the word fetish already implying that it's somehow something perverse, like the slave and master nonesense, as if we all are still living on a plantation.

You can't have sex without physical contact. Therefore, naturally, you have to be physically attracted to the persoan you are having sex with. If there is no physical attraction, you will be best "friends" or "buddies", but you will not have a physical relationship with him or her. And what you are attraced to is your very own personal decision and can't be defined or dictated by someone else.

To me it's funny though that these discussions always revolve around the skin color, because this is not my focus. A so called "white" man can develop a deep dark tan when exposed to the sun and is still not attractive to me. Some people from certain countries in Asia naturally have dark skin, sometimes even darker than the average African American, and I'm still not attracted. And I don't think everytime I am with a black man "oh a black man with black skin tocuhing my white skin with a black hand", quite the opposite: it happened that I ceased to "see" the color of my partner, unless we went out and he was standing out against other peoples lighter skin color.

 

I completely agree.

Again, I completely agree and I would even go so far as to say that we have little control over who we are attracted to. I think that attraction to someone or to a particular feature on someone (hair colour, height, weight and yes... skin colour, even gender) is rarely a conscious decision.

My mother keeps asking me "why do you like the black boys so much?? (with that "you're breaking my heart" tone) Is it just because of the sex? Is it because they have bigger penises?" I get so completely insulted infuriated by this... but, the problem is that I don't have a rational explanation. It just is what it is. I am attracted to black men, that's all. Nothing else to say about it.

I have often told her to let it go and that if I told her that I was attracted to women she would understand that is not something you can't change... because our society views homosexuality not as a choice but as "something that happens" to people. It seems to me that with some people (like my mother) it would be more acceptable to have a lesbian daughter than to have a daughter who dates black men. argh!!

Same here. The fact that a man is black may spark the INITIAL attraction... but he had better also be a darn good person for me to date him!! And of course, I am not attracted to ALL black men! I also don't see the colour of my partner... I see him as a person that I care about deeply. End of story.

 

So why don't you like women from spain? An awful lot of them have the same skin and the same hair as white women you know. Are you attracted to albino women? Sure, they don't have the hair, but they definitely have the pale skin. If you're attracted to women with white skin and long hair, that means that you're gonna have to be attracted to many women who have the same looks, but who aren't caucasian in race. There are too many things that don't make any sense when you say that you're only attracted to pale skin and small lips because an awful lot of people in the world, who aren't caucasian, have some of those same physical features.

 

I don't really like it when i'm called a black guy because anyone can see that my skin is middle brown and not black in color. Why are we all called black when we all have varying skin colors? I don't understand. Why can't we be called brown people or people of color or something? That sounds a lot better to me than being called black all the time, but that's just me.

 

Black and white are mere abstractions. There are no white or black skinned people. I guess pink and brown would be closer to the truth. But I don't think white folk would like to be called pink