Pops

I wish I have a father. It pains me a lot, especially when I see highly acheived kids call their daddys to bail them out or give them guidance every time they screw up. Where I went to school & worked, lots of Jews, East Indians, Asians and some whites have their dads come by to mentor them and open door for them, it is not like these kids really needed it in the 1st place. Oh! the journey of life, my teacher was right, life is a bitch and you die. Oh well, at least I got Christ in my life.

 

I never knew him. It doesn't bother me because I don't know any different anyway, so :smt102.
All I know is that my mom told me once that she told him that if he'd be in the lives of me and my twin sister then she wouldn't have him pay child support or anything if he'd just let us know he was there and he didn't go for it. I think he's pretty much just a whore because he's also got 5 sons with different women floating around out there too (I don't know their names or anything). And he didn't stop paying child support until a few years ago (he didn't start when he was supposed to so he was paying the arrears) so it's not like he didn't know where we were or how to find us up until a few years ago. So fuck 'em. But there have been times when I've wanted to know about other members of my family on his side. I grew up with my mom, a twin sister, two older half brothers, one aunt, one grandmother, two uncles, and two cousins. My grandfather died before I was born. Now my grandmother and aunt are passed on as well. And there have been times I've wondered about other aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents. Hm. But it seems kind of pointless now. I got my family.

My man. His mother was murdered when he was 9 months old and his father wasn't in the picture either. So he was adopted by his grandparents. His grandfather was abusive, my man is not. My man also has godparents, his godfather and godmother are both preachers and very nice people, he refers to his godfather as his dad and calls his biological father pops. Several years ago my man reunited with his biological father and I got to spend time with his father too. His father is something else, in a good way. I miss him but we've lost him again and don't know how to get a hold of him. His godparents said he's somewhere in Tennessee. But I've used all my Nancy Drew abilities and haven't been able to locate him yet. I hope we do.

So, that's my story about me and my father, I don't know if my man is like my father, because I don't know what my father is like. And I haven't spent much time with my man's father, grandfather, or godfather, in order to know if he's much like them. I have long distance relationships with his family so I've only spent a few days at a time with them a few times.

I hope I answered the question, I got a little sidetracked. I'm easily distracted. I'm not ADD, I'm - Oh look! Cookies!!

 

Hmm...tough question.

My dad was a good man and a great dad, but probably not a great husband(in fairness, my mother was probably a terrible wife and is not a good parent). He died when I was 18.

He was terrible with money and didn't have a real job from when I was around 9 or 10 years old that I remember. There's other financial stuff too that I won't tell here that my mum talked about after he'd died. Both my parents drank heavily every night and almost constantly if they had friends visiting. Myself, my sister and my friends were allowed to drink in our home from as early as I can remember, every guest in our home was offered alcohol.

My parents fought constantly and my dad would 'leave' frequently, always coming back after a few hours and once(that I remember at least) taking myself and my sister with him. One of my earliest memories it sitting at the top of our stairs listening to them fight and wishing they'd just get divorced.

He was however, great fun and had an infectious laugh. He rarely if ever shouted at us and when he did, it was because we had done something very bad or upset my mum in some way. He was always telling jokes and making people laugh and was kind and caring. In my teenage years we spent a lot of time together as I was home from school pretty often(some recurring health issues and my dad letting me take the whole day off for orthodontic treatments) and he had various work-from-home jobs where you work hard as hell trying to sell people things they don't need and barely scrape a few quid profit. He put up with a lot of crap from my mum throughout the years and still stayed. Despite us having no money, if he saw something small you'd like, he'd buy it for you. He loved computers and video games and had numerous spectrums throughout the years and an ancient computer with green text named "Ethel" He didn't approve of a single guy I brought home in my youth(very few but all typical teenage boys) and even my male friends were nervous about setting foot in our house when he was home(he wasn't angry and never shouted, he was just quietly disapproving and I think word spread).

I loved him very much and miss him all the time. There are many people in my life I wish he'd met and many experiences I wish he'd been able to share; my sister bought her wedding forward in hope he'd make it, but he died a month or so before the big day after being hospitalised for some months.

I don't want to go on and on, but he was an enormous influence in my life, musically, socially, etc.

 

as soon as i started to read your wonderful words about your da, i was transported back to "my" bedroom and your dad who oversaw me every night :smt003

 

i have a wonderful relationship with my father now. i see him every friday & speak at least twice a week on the phone. my mother and i are estranged and my dad often says that he feels like he can't give me all the love and support that i deserve and would get if my mother and i were still in contact, which is complete rubbish. he's always there with open ears and an open heart...always supportive and loving and thoughtful. my children also adore him as he adores them. i am very fortunate to have him in my life.
i love our friday afternoons after the kids go with their father & dad & i sit on the balcony, have a drink and he tells me stories of his life growing up in england and all the trouble he got up to when he was in the army. he makes me laugh. we share the same dry and dirty sense of humour and we often say that i am a mini him only in a female body. i love my daddy :smt049