Picky Picky

When it comes to a girlfriend I think I may be too picky. I was wondering what you guys think of my criteria.
In order from most heavily weighted to least

1. Physically she has to be very cute
2. Has to be intelligent/ open minded I.E. thinks for herself and can carry on a conversation on a variety of topics that are non pop.
3. I like for her to be independent and have her own friends. (Clingers tend to implode a relationship)
4. Takes care of herself. For example isn't a stranger to the gym or works out in some fashion or another.

I don't know if there is a relationship in the weight I place of the criteria or if I'm pulling samples from a bad pools. I always run into two types that have potential. Either type A. Is really intelligent easy to get along with has her own friends, but doesn't place value on working out or physical pursuits and isn't the cutest. Or B. is Very cute and works out but those are the only dimensions to her character. She may not necessarily be unintelligent, but is way into pop culture and has sort of an underdeveloped personality. After some self evaluation it seems to me I should be going after type As but I just dont know if I can settle for an average looking girl when I feel I can get get the same content in a prettier package. Do any of you ladies or fellas have this similar type problem? And are we being picky or diligent?

 

Haha I'm definitely an A!

IME, everyone draws up a neat list of criteria...then promptly abandons them as soon as they fall in love :lol:

I'm currently falling in love with a man who I didn't even fancy when I met him, and he's very short...no high heels for MistressB eh...

 

Well MB you found a good bloke brother instead of a punter. Spendid!

 

Yes, you are very picky. Your most heavily weight criteria is that she has to be very cute. As you know, most women can't control how pretty their faces are. Makeup helps, but you're pretty much stuck with what you got. So for this being the most important thing you look for in a partner, that's kinda not too good...

If you wouldn't be happy with any other girl than the near perfect one you described...wait for her. Do all you can to search her out. Don't mess with a plain girl or dumb girl in the meantime just because that's what you can get. Or if you do, be up front about that.

There's nothing wrong with being picky and having standards but damn, most women aren't physically perfect. The majority aren't. So that leaves you with a pretty small group. Then once you add a sparkling personality, the group gets smaller.

If you can't have exactly what you want, how about a girl who's a little bit of both? Maybe she's plain looking (not ugly) and has a nice personality. Or maybe she's extremely hot but with a plain personality. Basically, it doesn't have to be either beautiful and dumb/crazy or ugly and wonderul.

 

Well, I am picky in terms of how the guy treats me. I think everyone has to be picky about that one. I have had several relationships in which the guy just treated me like I am a ghost, for example we're going to eat outside and then the guys comes out of the car and enters the restaurant by hymself leaving me behind....What's up with that? Imagine how that makes you feel. As the culture that I have that it is not acceptable in a relationship. So, I guess I am going to have to be picky because I am not putting up with that. I dont want the guy to worship me and put a red carpet but the little things sometimes happen to be the BIGGEST THINGS.

Recently I dumped my ex for that and other unfair business: not wanting to hold hands with me at all. Screw him I am getting myself a GOOD man!

If women are not careful in those terms, the guy will end up doing things even worse because he knows he CAN treat us that way. And viceversa too. I have known guys whose girlfriend does not welcome the guy when he comes home (like touching his face and give him a kiss or hug him) or doesn't even let the guys do things for her like carrying heavy stuff. You gotta let your MAN BE THE MAN WHEN HE WANTS TO BE THE MAN! To me is a super turn on when the guy wants to lift things for me.

Anyways, I guess I gotta be picky to be respected.

Jules

 

If I can give you some advice, speaking from 17 wonderful years of marriage, DONT SETTLE. Whatever your criterion may be, just be honest with yourself and have the courage to stick with your guns. I know it is easy for me to say this, because I was lucky enough to meet and marry one of the precious few women out there with brains, beauty and personality, but I have seen waaay to many friends, and some family members, settle for less than they had stated they wanted in a mate, and all of them are miserable now and stuck in their marriages. No way to go through life.

 

Thank you for the encouraging words. I needed it

 

Speaking from personal experience, I got into a marriage with a man that turned out to be very bad. I got out. And if I pass on only one lesson to my child (hopefully I pass on more), it's this: you are NEVER, EVER stuck in a bad relationship.

I agree with Loki, though, don't settle. It doesn't do any involved party any good, and you just end up miserable.

 

Well if she fulfills all criteria except for the working out point it should be fine since that is the point you place lowest in your criteria list.
Other than that don't settle for less than you can be hapy and see yourself in the long run with.