Overcoming Sadness, Hurt, Heartbreak, And Pain: How do you do this?

How do you overcome sadness, hurt, heartbreak, and pain?

I know for a fact that some decide to drink or others decide to smoke in an attempt to deal with pain.:smt028

I however do not drink or smoke because to me it preserves my decency. Others are free to be who they want to be and they may think otherwise.

It may also seem to some that my desire to not drink or smoke is a joy killer or a fun killer and to them may not get me specially selected by some ladies. No matter.

But the reason why I don't drink or smoke happens to be because my older cousin who was 51 was diagnosed with lung cancer, and he was told by the doctor that he had only 3 months to live. His smoking and drinking had caused this illness to develop in his body. After he passed away, I vowed never to drink or smoke even if it must be used to help with pain.

To me there are better alternatives and choices, and I would like to hear from others how they have dealt with their own pain.

 

One nite stands?

Seriously though.

Pain from heartbreak is the worst. I'm a hopeless romantic at heart and absolutely one hundred and sixteen percent cynical. The two don't abide well together so I have lots of issues about men and relationships. Overwhelmingly I stay distant and run away at the first sign of serious. This is an attempt to stay safe. However, I met someone for whom that is not a possibility. I tried. And so now, after four years of being alone I'm slowly opening up to him. It's still very trying at times and the opening up part is painful and uncomfortable at times and I want to run so bad. But I'm coming to realize that it only means what I say it does. And if I can be more open and flowing as a result of working through past hurt, risking new hurt, and not hurting back as a result of that..then it seems successful no matter what hurts in the end.

 

Thanks for sharing. Yes we do put up walls when we get hurt and we are faced with pain but then one day we are challenged to get out from behind those walls and to step into the sunshine.

I will tell you one thing that I can say and that is that the length of time that it has taken us to get out from behind those walls is only a revelation of how deeply we have been hurt in the past.

I feel for women who have been hurt-yes I do have emotions and feelings with a touch of sensitivity for the feelings of ladies who have been hurt in the past but one day the heart heals and the sunshine seems a much more better proposition than staying behind the walls.

It is indeed good to see such openness. Thank you kindly again.

 

Someone has a split personality/intellect.

 

Who has? You think that by opening up and sharing about your pain is having a split personality?

Do you think that when I shared about what happened in my life is having a split personality/intellect?

 

From the way you represent yourself on other posts it may appear so. But I have been accused of the same thing, so carry on.

 

Oh okay for a moment there I thought you fell into that bracket that men from your region like to place women into. They say they are into feminism too much.

I can see you fall into the bracket of being a nice person.

Feel free to carry on being nice as you are.