Old White Woman Regret

nobledruali said:
:shock: >>>You mean you approve of the way this thread is going Bro SardonicGenie?! That is something because you are hard to please my brotha. You definitely don't like weak-azz stuff coming up on the board. :wink:
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:lol: :lol: :lol: Not to say that I approve, but I like the direction it took without all the 'weak-azz' drama.
 
SardonicGenie said:
nobledruali said:
:shock: >>>You mean you approve of the way this thread is going Bro SardonicGenie?! That is something because you are hard to please my brotha. You definitely don't like weak-azz stuff coming up on the board. :wink:
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:lol: :lol: :lol: Not to say that I approve, but I like the direction it took without all the 'weak-azz' drama.
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:lol: You're always true to form my brotha. :wink:
 
designer said:
I find this interesting...
I don't think that some 40 something white woman liking a black man is a bad thing. I don't believe she is doing it because she can't get a white guy.
I've seen more than a few younger white women on this site talking about their love of black guys...

When I was in my 20's I only dated and was married to a black woman.
Am I into white women because I can't get a black woman as I hit the big 40 in about a month?
I don't think so.

And why does a “plus size” white woman liking black men mean she can't get a white guy because she is fat?
I know many [most] black guys don't like plus size... I get that.
But sometimes it seems like we go out of our way to let big women know “not us.” Almost to the point of being mean about it.

Not good.
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Excuse me but why can't you get a BW because you're almost 40 ? That doesn't make any sense because I just hit 46 last month and I have women from 21 to 50's giving me action.

As for white men not want a plus size white woman, that's a sad reality, most men prefer women that slender or athletic looking so it's not just white men and it's not being mean, it's called preferance.
 
Now as for this subject let me give you my take on this, I'm a 46 yr old black man that looks more like early to mid 30's and I have mix feelings about older white women wanting to be with Black men.

A lot of these white woman wouldn't have given a Black man the time of day when they were younger and had their looks to fall back on but now that time has moved forward on them, the same white men that they fawned over now look at them with distain because these women no longer are physically attractive thus white men are leaving them in great numbers of younger white women 21 to early 30's or Asian women that will look good on their arms.

I remember reading a article written by a 40 plus White woman living in NYC who shared her story of why she was now dating Black men, she talked about being passed over by White men for younger White women so she decided to cross the color line and it seems like she wish she had done it years ago.

She says that she loves the way a Black man's skin feels against her flesh, she loves our conversation, humor, strength, intelligence and yes brothers's she loves the way Black men make love.

She does give her take on how Black women feel about White women like her dating Black men but I love the way she opens up her heart to sistahs by speaking the facts for many many older White women, She goes on to say this

I'm a White women in her 40s that most White men my age are looking for much younger White women so what I'm I suppose to do ? Go without love and companionship ?
 
auburnfanatic said:
well, i haven't been here in a while but i found this post interesting- i guess b/c i'm 32 and for the first time have gotten involved with a bm. i'm seriously trying to figure out why i never dated bm before- and i'm sure subconciously a big part of it was my dad. i'm also in the southeast (alabama!) but grew up in tennessee. it's not that i never gave bm a chance when i was younger- but i honestly don't remember any bm approaching me or asking me out. i didn't run in the same circles- and i was the girl in high school that always had a boyfriend... so maybe i was never approached... who knows. all i can say, from the bottom of my heart is that i'm not turning to bm in my 30's b/c i can't get a white man. and i'm definitely not past my prime or overweight at 5'1 105 lbs! i know this wasn't for all white women but i wanted to put my 2 cents in. and if you really want to know the truth, i wish i had dated bm at an earlier age- somehow i alienated them- almost as if they weren't in my world at all, which is strange. but now it's totally different, my world is very integrated- i'm not so self-centered or exclusive... guess i've matured a little bit...lol

ok, your thoughts???
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I know I should have a regard for human life no matter the circumstance, but it seems to be getting harder for me to accept the compliments and new found interest from people like yourself. Contrariwise I haven't always considered a white woman as a suitable companion, which makes it easier to relate to and not to hold a grudge against them. It would be a double standard, if I did.

However if you're only going for black men because white men no longer want you, it's a different story.
 
Millionareman said:
Excuse me but why can't you get a BW because you're almost 40 ? That doesn't make any sense because I just hit 46 last month and I have women from 21 to 50's giving me action.

As for white men not want a plus size white woman, that's a sad reality, most men prefer women that slender or athletic looking so it's not just white men and it's not being mean, it's called preferance.
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I think you misunderstood me or maybe I did not communicate my thoughts well....

I'm not saying I can't get black women because of my age. No. I was asking a rhetorical question because some folks seem to think that “old” white women are into black men because they are past their prime and can't get white guys.

Also, I was not saying that people [guys] who don't like plus size women are mean. No. I say to each his/her own. I respect that.
I was saying it seems to me that some guys here are going above and beyond to let it be known that they are not into big women because of fear of myths. That they are letting it be known to the point of being mean.

It almost reminds me of white women who'll go out of their way to let “brothas” know that they don't “date down”.
[I placed date down in quotes]
 
it kind of pisses me off that there is an attitude that WW may date BM because they can't get anyone else

especially when I hear BM quoting it..


when I hear it from WM.. I figure it is their own self confidence talking because they were passed over..



I have no problem dating any men. I get hit on by white men, by Latinos and Blk Men. By choice I date BM only.
 
Millionareman said:
As for white men not want a plus size white woman, that's a sad reality, most men prefer women that slender or athletic looking so it's not just white men and it's not being mean, it's called preferance.
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Hmmm...I know this sounds like a terrible cliche, but I really do see a lot of BM with FAT FAT women all over the place...BW as well as WW...I am still seriously wondering what`s the deal with that!

Like Seychelles reminded us again, the Ir scene in the US and in Europe are two different animals...most of the things bruddas here say about WW in America are extremely far from the behavior of non-northern American WW!
Go for foreign girls bruddas, they do not wait until they are 40, or fat or rejected to go for BM!
Don`t believe me? check out this fairy!...yeo she`s the one who stole my heart and...God am I glad she doesn`t intend to return it!! :)
1148104755_l.jpg
 
JREMINATOR said:
Millionareman said:
As for white men not want a plus size white woman, that's a sad reality, most men prefer women that slender or athletic looking so it's not just white men and it's not being mean, it's called preferance.
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Hmmm...I know this sounds like a terrible cliche, but I really do see a lot of BM with FAT FAT women all over the place...BW as well as WW...I am still seriously wondering what`s the deal with that!

Like Seychelles reminded us again, the Ir scene in the US and in Europe are two different animals...most of the things bruddas here say about WW in America are extremely far from the behavior of non-northern American WW!
Go for foreign girls bruddas, they do not wait until they are 40, or fat or rejected to go for BM!
Don`t believe me? check out this fairy!...yeo she`s the one who stole my heart and...God am I glad she doesn`t intend to return it!! :)
1148104755_l.jpg
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From Batman Begins: "You must become more than a man...you must become a symbol." :lol:
 
QSSassy said:
it kind of pisses me off that there is an attitude that WW may date BM because they can't get anyone else
especially when I hear BM quoting it..
when I hear it from WM.. I figure it is their own self confidence talking because they were passed over..
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I believe it is a sign of low self-confidence when it comes from black men as well.

These kind of black men are somehow convinced, due to their own low self-esteem or due to internalized black and white supremacist doctrine, that no "quality" white women would ever be interested in them.

"Tha white man" gets the cream of the crop, the black men only gets the crumbs and left overs - one of the finest examples of plantation mentality.
"UH, she is white and interested in me? There must be something wrong with her!" She is either too fat (because "tha white man" gets the ones with a nice shape), too skinny (because "tha white man" gets the ones with the sexy curves), too old (because "tha white man" gets the young ones), too low class (because "tha white man" gets the rich ones), too stupid (because "tha white man" gets the educated ones), or overrated - afterall, Heidi Klum isn't all that, and Tiger Woods wife isn't all that either and they are probably stupid as dirt anyway ....and blah ... and blah.

There is not much one can do about this kind of mindset but to wait until these men grow up and develop enough selfworth to realize that they are indeed lovable and there are indeed a bunch of wellrounded, educated and nice looking white women out there who could have any "white" man they want but who are in love with black men.
 
QSSassy said:
Thank you for saying that Silver.. it will soften me when I hear such things from a black man.
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Maybe in real life, but just read through these forums, especially in the threads about reality shows.
 
QSSassy said:
it kind of pisses me off that there is an attitude that WW may date BM because they can't get anyone else

especially when I hear BM quoting it..


when I hear it from WM.. I figure it is their own self confidence talking because they were passed over..



I have no problem dating any men. I get hit on by white men, by Latinos and Blk Men. By choice I date BM only.
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:idea: Actually Sassy it's funny in that I hear something similar as has been discussed on this board and in the media about black women saying that that is why they are turning to white men because of the shortage! :shock:
I'm sorry but 40ish and up no longer means the end of the road for any woman or for anybody. It depends on the person regardless of race but usually I've found that older ladies know what they want anyway and play alot less head trips than younger women whether it's about love or just about the sex they seem more upfront about it and I like that! :wink:
 
LaydeezmanCris said:
For a very long time, i've always wondered why a lot of white women, in their youthful years (16-32), will exclusively date white men because their daddy would be mad if they brought home a black man. These women try their best to hide their attraction to black men as possible, which is their own problem. Some of them would marry white men, which is no problem with me but here's the funny bit.... they would seek sex with their "bull" and take "vacations" and "breaks" to Jamaica, Barbados and where have you for reasons you do not need to be a rocket scientist to figure out. . .
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LaydeezmanCris this is soooo true, I have been to Hedonism many times and I have seen white couples looking for Jamaican guys to have sex with their wives. I guess the husband or boyfriend has to fulfull the wife's fantasy of finally having a black man that she wanted and still be in a marriage.

Yes, there are older single white women who come to the Caribbean just for that.
 
I guess the husband or boyfriend has to fulfull the wife's fantasy of finally having a black man that she wanted and still be in a marriage.
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:idea: Also the husbands wouldn't be allowing it or even pushing it if it wasn't a FANTASY OF THEIRS :shock: as well. :wink:
 
Well..I just turned 40 and am now seperated. I went out with one black man when I was younger and stopped because of parental pressure.

I had an affair with a black man and then split up with my husband. Rgith now I am not dating anyone, but am still talking to the man that I had the affair with and I think that we will work our way back together after my divorce, but need to give it time.

Bottom line is that yes as an "older" white woman, I do regret do actin on my preference earlier in my life.
 
bosoxlady said:
Well..I just turned 40 and am now seperated. I went out with one black man when I was younger and stopped because of parental pressure.

I had an affair with a black man and then split up with my husband. Rgith now I am not dating anyone, but am still talking to the man that I had the affair with and I think that we will work our way back together after my divorce, but need to give it time.

Bottom line is that yes as an "older" white woman, I do regret do actin on my preference earlier in my life.
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:idea: Just a thought but don't be too hard on yourself because parental pressure can be a excuse the pun but, a "mother" :!: Especially if you love them and want to do right as their child. :wink:
 
Thanks for the kind words. One thing that I have learned is not to judge the people my own children date.

Despite regretting giving into parental pressure, I am happy now that I still have half of my life left to do what I want.
 
smart...

remember too.. that we can't change our past and choices we made, good or bad. All we can do it take the life we have moving forward and make something of it
 
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