Old Lovers,Good Friends??

Hey!
Was listening to an old Classic Rock song, where there is a line that goes"They say old Lovers can be good Friends".My question: is it possible to be just friends with someone you were in love with,especially if the relationship ended
badly?? And also,how would you feel about your S/O being friends with and old Flame or how would they react if the Situation was reversed.

Surprisingly, I`m pretty good friends with my ex Lady Friend now. Our relationship ended 2 years ago and it was messy. Anyway Inquiring minds would like hear your thoughts.

 

It may depend on what you consider to be friends.

I definitely think it's possible, especially if it's been a long time since you were involved.

Most people would say I'm friends with my ex-husband because we get along and cooperate with each other regarding the children. Sometimes we may talk about business stuff (we owned several businesses together over the years). Or maybe say something if we ran into someone the other knows. We were together for 17 years so there is a lot of history there. There have been times when we have gone to the same events because we know some of the same people, etc.

But it's not like we are going to be hanging out together or looking to socialize with each other.

 

I am good friends with my last s/o. Our relationship ended 4 years ago. It took me a long time to get over him, but we're friends now and it's good.

 

I try to never burn bridges.

 

It's quite possible. I'm friends with 2 ex-S/O. I'm not saying every ex-couple can be friends, but I call BS to those who go around preaching that this isn't possible. It's often the same people who say the female/male platonic relationships cannot exist.

 

I would feel insulted if an ex was just able to look at me as an "friend".

 

I am with all of my Exes good friends, except one. When you get older I assume you have to get over "the romantic thoughts". People make faults, people lose their emotions, love for someone else, because of faults, everyone learns everyday..but that doesn't say that your ex is a bad person.
For me it's important to keep the people I've loved in my life as good friends and confidants

 

Thanks for the replies,especially DudeNY and Christine.I agree.
It`s just a Blessing for me that my Ex would want ANYTHING to do with me after what I put her through,I`m talking to the Point of Stalking ( shame to admit it,but let the truth be told),but that`s the type of Person she is.Still crazy about her,but I`m grateful for her friendship and not hoping for anything beyond that.She has her Peace again.
I guess that old saying is true: Some of us don`t appreciate the People we were blessed to have in our lives until they`re gone

 

If it ended badly , no

If it ended amicably, then yes.
However, the definition of a friend is dependent on the person.

as the philosophers known as Whodini once said...

Now you can look the word up, again and again
But the dictionary doesn't know the meaning of friends

And if you ask me, you know, I couldn't be much help
Because A friend is somebody you judge for yourself

 

The updated post from the OP provides a bit different view.

Given the added information, it may not healthy to be "friends" with someone you are still pining away over and that you once stalked.

You may want to take a hard look at your motives in being friends and if it's something that is honestly going to be beneficial to either of you.

Part of having a healthy friendship (or any type of relationship) is creating and respecting boundaries that work for both people.

 

Absolutely right. And I DID do ALOT of Soul searching before accepting Her offer to come over for coffee ( we both have a mutual friend she hadn`t heard from she is Close too and she knows Me and him are best friends).

It`s better, Feelings-wise now,but I did have have a Hands-off Approach meaning I kept our dealings,conversations etc STRICTLY friendly. It IS better between us. As far as my motives,I guess I feel alot of guilt about how I treated her and my part in destroying our relationship.She lived many Kilometers away( 2hour drive one way) to be with me before finally moving here. I`m just grateful she even wants to be friends with me,considering.
She is a fantastic Person,and I consider it and honor having a Person like her as a friend and I`m not taking it for granted this time.