Okay, so dating a white girl whose family is kinda racist...

So recently, i met this girl at my job named Sabrina, she' cute,smart, sexy, fun, really warm and...italian. Her family just doesn't want her dating black guys under no circumstances. And they're crazy as fuck too. So we been doing the creeping around thing and she refers to me as her "friend" to her family. All that creeping around feels so...unmanly. I've dated plenty of WW and always got along good with family members ( of course, they were the liberal, democratic voting kind, not the Sopranos) but this situation feels different.Anybody ever have to deal with this situation before? I'd like to hear some insights.

 

Dump her and find a cute, smart, sexy, fun, really warm woman who can have an adult relationship with you and one regardless of her family's views.

 

Have a talk with her and inform her how you feel. If she can't "Woman-up" to her family and be free to make her own choices then she might not be mature enough for you. You don't sound like you would date an immature woman with beiber fever who is too afraid to talk to mommy and daddy about this great guy she found. So, ask her to stand her grown a little. If she wont, she is a closet immature case (also a closet bieber fan). And if that is the situation, you should find someone better. Remember...

You can get with this



Or you can get with that...


[YOUTUBE]JQ6wGtqKuIw[/YOUTUBE]

 

:-?

[YOUTUBE]qTZ_Xmw-xbg[/YOUTUBE]

 

x1000

Italians stay loving chocolate, don't they?

Seriously, New York, you gotta do better than this

and make her be open, if not, leave!

 

Albeit this girl seems special, you don't need the stress from her family. You don't need to hide in a trunk somewhere. Dump her, find someone who's better worth your time. Life is too short for bullshit.

 

If you have to "creep" around with a grown woman it probably isn't the best start to a relationship. Or only being introduced as a "friend" isn't great either. But, if you like her a lot, then just sit down and tell her how you feel.

 

this

 

This makes it sounds like you're only fucking anyway, which wouldn't be a concern for her parents even if you were as Italian as Garibaldi.

 

Have you met the parents?

 

Dude been there done that and wrote the book. My first girlfriend ever was Italian and trust me I know what you're talking about. If you just want to be beat then beat but anything beyond that isn't worth it. New York Italians are notoriously racist. You hang with them but don't try to be with any of them. The cool thing is you can have as much as you want and always have the racist family card to play when you're done.

 

a few black guys i have known have said they are a big no no when it comes to dating

 

To be fair they usually like to stick with their own like Albanians and Armenians for the most part

 

You are correct.


My sister-in-law is an exception. Her family is from back east in Boston.

Cool people.

 

Notice how she her family lives on the east coast and she lives on the west lol

 

Yep, you gotta let her go bro.

She is using you for some of that black experience and fun.

Cmon brotha unless you are in it just for the piece of ass as well its clear what's up.

Situations like this never play out well, especially when you are her "Friend"

You're a man bro, not a plaything.

Unless you are cool with that, you know what you need to do.

Too many confident, quality, white women in the world to deal with one who devalues you.

 

ROFL. This is 2011, fuck if I'm a black man doing this shit for any woman.

If you are a secure, confident and respectful man you shouldn't have to subject yourself to such mindsets.

As a black man I stay far away from women like that. They are more concerned about perceptions, who is watching them and what is being said about them than being true to themselves.

I understand the family dynamic but insecurity in a woman is not a pretty sight.

 

:smt023

LOL, didn't Spike Lee cover this shit already for us brothas.

That's why I asked Esoterik if he is in it for the serious long haul or a piece of ass.

 

I'm Italian.

I come from a racist family.

This girl needs to put in work, and if she's worth it, a little patience will go a long way on your part.

But none of your part is necessary, if she doesn't put in the work, first. She needs to sit down with them and pretty much say (in a nicer way) "It's 2011. Racism isn't acceptable. Get to know him, and if you won't do that, then that's all we have to say to each other, but I won't not date someone I like a lot simply because you have this stupid idea that skin color indicates the mettle of a man. Put on your big boy and girl pants and deal with it."

Is she willing to do it? Has she done it? Then, all you need to do is be your marvelous, amazing self. Those families DO come around, but it takes time. You might become the exception to the rule. Sometimes, it's a generational thing, too. My mom is 60 years old. My dad is 65 (not Italian). My mom spent her whole life growing up with my grandfather who was so racist, it was insane. He died when he was in his 80s, back in the late 90's. So, he came from a different time, when words like 'mulatto' and 'colored' were acceptable in polite conversation for most of his life. And, because Italians were so hated by many people, they picked on the people at the bottom of the totem pole to try to get a leg up. It doesn't make it right, but that's where some of that comes from. If you get far enough away from that older generation, you start to see some reason.

My mother eventually started to come around, as she saw the people I dated as more than a skin color (she still has her moments, but she's working on it). My dad came from a different place, and not being Italian, his upbringing was a little different. Of course, it's not for everyone. It hurts sometimes. I didn't like telling my mom that if I ever got married, her presence wasn't necessary because she wasn't walking me down the aisle- my father was. So she was welcome to take a step out of my life. That kind of did it. She turned a corner after that. You have to be willing to stand up for yourself.

If this girl you're seeing isn't willing to do that to build a relationship with you, then you should move on.

 

LOL Everytime I see that movie JungleFever, it reminds me to stay away from Italian women. The way they talk about black people is gross and repulsive and the father will beat the shit out of his children if they were to ever cross that line. Quote from the movie, Samuel L Jackson talking to Wesley Snipes "You got yourself a white girl, she must have money. What is she Irish?" Snipes: "No, she's Italian." Jackson: "Shit! You always liked to do things the hard way." Now you see why she say you are just a friend, she doesn't want that ass beat.