Oh, hey!

I had (what I thought) was an interesting conversation with a friend the other day.

In it, we were discussing the types of men I tend to choose and how that brings a lot of dissatisfaction. And suffering (he is a buddhist lama, and this was really the crux of the matter). He told me at one point:
"You need to find a white man, with a good job that has respect for you and is into you."

The "you need to find a white man" thing threw me off, because I know for a fact that this person is not biggoted toward race.

When I asked him to clarify that response, he further told me:

"yes a white man. You are getting to old to be a trophy wife anymore and black men tend to look at younger white females as such. No more cross-cultural bullshit."
He then added the thing about me being too old to be a trophy (sobs) and continued:
"And how white men view women from other cultures. I'm generalising, but this is widely true. Lizard brain stuff."

I would like peoples opinions on this please. And while I know that the tone is about racial differences, I would like to steer it away from "that's racist, this is racist, youre a racist, we are all racists" if at all possible.

I really just want to hear opinons on the whole trophy wife thing.

While I wait, I'll be crying into my gin and cranberry at the loss of my trophy wife status. :smt012

 

Interesting comments. I'm a black man, and my wife wasn't a trophy wife, so I'm not sure I understand what he was getting at. My wife and I had culture as our primary commonality, not her looks. It sounds like he's making gross generalizations based on popular images of black men in the media, generally athletes and musicians, who, regardless of race, often parade around with physically attractive women on their arm. That statement is no less true of Tom Brady than it is of Michael Vick.

 

Co-sign this.

 

But he must realize that an everyday black man isn't an everyday Michael Vick.

I can see how the exotic nature of a different culture or race may lead to searching for one that would be considered a trophy wife..but, well, it was really a slap in the face to be reminded of my age in all honesty.

Which, reminds me, are their such things as trophy husbands? And can I get one, please? Heh heh...

 

Someone forgot to inform the "Housewives" ...

 

If you can take care of one I'm sure you can your trophy boo lol. Is your friend single? Does he date alot?

 

That's the problem with racial stereotypes: they often cloud perceptions and make real analysis and understanding difficult if not impossible. And people hold onto them no matter how much real life and experience contradict them. And judging from his comments, it didn't sound like he was so much reminding you of your age, as implying that interracial relationships are some sort of childish foolishness that white girls engage in, but not adult women. Like he's telling you to "grow up".

And on another note, I wish there was such a thing as a trophy husband, because I would get in shape and try to become one. LOL.

 

well, now that's just stupid..if I didn't want to be grown up in a relationship...it wouldn't be an issue of I was dating a black guy who saw me as a trophy wife.

Well, Im looking...so go ahead and get in shape...heh...:smt077

 

Hey, whoever said this craziness was supposed to make sense?

Okay, heading to the gym in a sec!

 

You should otta hurry it up a bit...another two seconds and I will be long past being a trophy wife. I'll just be a bitch...

Oh...wait...that's the same thing, isn't it? :smt110

 

Their certainly is...where have you been?

 

I like 'em that way.

 

Not married to one???

 

That's good to know. Imma fiesty bitch most of the time, regardless of my wifey status as trophy or not.

Tee-hee

 

They out living life because they know they have options.

 

I like a little spirit.

 

uh...im just going to assume that didnt mean that i dont have one because i wouldnt be an option for them.

I live my life...and have options...i just don't like any of them..very much.
One in particular is very yummy...and it's a viable option. The only one so far that's even remotely tempting..but also a bonus because it's the only option i have really wanted for a long time.