Hello everyone. First of all...i'm a white women....19 yrs old. Here's my situation: I got my first kiss from a black guy my age at 15. i had the BIGGEST crush on him for a long time. we have been through alot together since then. We never actually dated until a couple months ago after graduation. so for like 3 years we just "liked" each other and we made out a few times here and there but no one ever knew about it. it was always so secretive. we went to a very small christian school so word travels fast and we didnt want the pastor or our parents to find out that we were occacionally making out. During this time i have had a white boyfriend that everyone knew about....but no matter what i do i cant seem to stop liking this black guy. so i broke up with the white guy after graduation because i wanted to see if the black guy would finally ask me to be his girlfriend.... so....he did. and we went to the movies together once. and i went on his lunch break at work a few times...and we made out ALOT...i love kissing him so much. he's awesome. but then he just stopped text messaging me and stopped sending me messages on myspace. i thought it was weird and i was getting mad that he wasnt talking to me anymore. this went on for a few weeks. so i finally sent him a message and said.... "well, i'm not your girlfriend anymore since we dont talk anyway." then he asked if we could still be friends. My PROBLEM: i cant just be friends with him. i just cant. i love him. this is kinda personal but here is an actual conversation i had with him over the past few days on myspace messaging: i told him the other night that he is a really good guy and very sexy. ( and he knows that i miss him and want him back) then he told our friend nick that i told him he was sexy...and then he told him he was having a great day until he heard that comment from me... so ....... ME(white girl): sorry for everything i've put u thru. sorry for all the nice things i've said to u. sorry for wanting to be with you so badly even tho i know we cant ever be. sorry for giving u my first kiss. sorry for giving u my heart. sorry for everything. i'm just.....sorry. dont worry...i'll never bother u again. HIM: r u mad at me? ME: no. nick said u had a great day at bg until u talked to me at night. so i'm just gonna leave u alone. i dont wanna ruin ur life anymore. HIM: omg u didn't ruin my life c. i had fun that day. it's true that i want u to stop saying stuff like that but thats only because sometimes i cant control my body and thats when we end up doing stuff. and in the end u always end up hurt. and i dont wanna hurt u anymore. i hope u dont want me out of ur life cause that would suck ME: dont want u out of my life. but everytime i see you i cant control my feelings. its really hard. i want to just forget about u but i cant. i wont say stuff like that to you anymore...but sometimes i just wanna tell u how i feel. i'm sorry for all the drama. i'm trying really hard to move on. I KNOW THIS WAS VERY LONG...SO IF U READ IT ALL....THANK U. PLEASE GIVE ME ANY COMMENTS YOU HAVE ABOUT THIS SITUATION. AND ANY ADVICE WOULD HELP. I WANT HIM BACK BUT I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO.
young love...so precious and fragile...this young man obviously likes you but can't see past what he considers an unworkable relationship...he is holding back and showing self control...it could be any number of things...his parents could have said something...one of his friends...your pastor...if he is looking for guidance he may not be hearing what he wants to hear...he may believe he is doing the right thing by not being with you...there are some big "WHYS" here that have not been answered...you must go to the source and find out the why??? it may not be what you want to hear...have you told your parents about him? if not, he may think you want to keep him a secret...miscommunication happens with email, text etc...face to face is the best way to go... good luck!
I don't think you should be so dramatic with it. That might have also pushed him away. And hopefully you weren't all about making out because sometimes that turns people off believe it or not. I'm afraid you might just have to leave him alone. If he loves you the way you love him he may eventually come back to you. But sadly if he decides to love another you might just have to move on, hon. It's ok to find love somewhere else.
