My Father Disowned Me For Marrying A Nigerian - American Woman

My Father Disowned Me For Marrying A Nigerian - American Woman
August 31, 2012



Crystal Ellis Owonubi lives in Jos with her family. She has been sharing her story with other Americans and people from other parts of the world via a popular Facebook page which has more than 23,000 likes, ‘Mixed and Happy: I support mixed-raced families!” Here’s something she wrote.

“I am a white American that married a Nigerian. I grew up in Bauxite, Arkansas. I have lived in Nigeria for the past 7 years with my husband. We have two children together. We have been married for 12 years now. My father has never met my husband and has refused to accept my children also.

When I had my first baby, a little girl that is now 12 years old. I called my father and said that I wanted to come and see him for Christmas with my baby. He said, “I don’t want any black people in my home!” and hung up the phone!

I grew up in an all white school with only one mixed girl in the school. I was treated horribly in school because I dated a black boy that lived in the next town at the age of 16. My father told me that he would disown me and to this day, I have never received a phone call from him.

I was called nigger lover in school and nobody wanted to sit by me. I knew what it felt like to be rejected. I was sent away to several different homes for troubled children because my mother did not want me to be with a black person. She would lock the phone up in her room. But, today I live in the blackest nation, Nigeria. And today I am happy that I did not end up racist like them or should I say ignorant.”I am holding back my tears.

“I thank God that he gave me a family of my own! He has blessed me with a wonderful man that understands me and loves me for who I am. He has blessed me with a wonderful family that accepts me regardless of my skin color and regardless of where I come from. Even though my mother and father in law are both deceased now, I thank God for their lives and how they were able to show me love before they went on to be with the Lord.

Crystal Ellis Owonubi

 

There's always a happy ending in the midst of it all. Though she lost one family (stupid bastards), she has gained two: her husband's family as well as her own. And I wish those two the best of luck.

 

'Disowning' your daughter is so 1950s. I know it happens but I have to believe some women must think even the attempt by a parent to tell THEIR CHILD they are no longer one of their own is laughable.

Just some mean shit to say to hurt someone's feelings IMO.:smt014

 

How tragically sad. What a loss for them. They will never know her incredible family which carries their blood along with his family's. Thankfully the power of love :smt049 overcame the power of their hate.

And look at that bay-beee!!! :smt007 :smt060

 

I wish that could be me. I would gladly go to another world to be the bearer of a man's children... if that man would devote his love to me... I would devote my life to him. I wouldn't care how crazy my family thought I was.

 

Interesting story naija, goes to show raw ignorance and bigotry courses through the veins of some people to a degree which rots their core character.

Nice to see that she is strong and confident enough to follow her heart, despite the personal vulgarity of her parents rancid views.

Takes a very strong woman to not succumb to that dilemma in her personal life.

 

:smt045

Well said.

She could have said originally this is too much and followed a different path to appease her parents at the cost of her personal happiness.

But as you said she gained her husband's family and created her own as well that will no doubt be raised void of those foul views of other human beings that her parents attempted to instill in her.

 

ghee, I remember reading a post of dude saying that the white women have the most to lose when they date IR because they can get cut off from the family thus if you date a ww you better be honest with her about what you are about....that dude got dogged in this forum for saying that. HHHMMM I wonder who posted that dumb shit

 

:smt043:smt043:smt043

I see what you did there. :smt071

No doubt this shit is not a game though, recognize if you're black some folks just don't like your ass, no matter how respectful, well spoken and dignified you carry yourself.

Some folks are still jacked up mentally in 2012. Issues.

 

busted

 

:smt043:smt043:smt043

 

her parents are stuck in that stubborn cycle of misery and hate and the daughter is happy with her family, that's the way it will be these days, people cant keep on sacrificing their happiness for other peoples fear and stupidity

 

Exactly.

 

A touching story

I strongly believe that your Dad is going to one day call to say he's sorry for neglecting you.

Mean while I got my own problem and implore any well meaning human being to proffer solutions for me.
Ever since I was a little boy,I'v this explosive and irresistible desire for white ladies and still do till today. I told myself I wasn't going to date any girl till I graduate from the university and possibly travel out to the West for my MSc then get myself a lovely white girl for marriage. I kept to my promise of graduation and not having a girl friend in campus,but my desire of travelling out to the white man's world to get my second degree and meeting my long awaited pretty white lady seems a mirage.
Out frustration I decided to accept my fate and stop floundering in fantasy island. I tried dating some babes withing my confine but the relationship doesn't last for a month or two.I just quit each time I state any believing that one day am going to leave the country any time soon and will encourage myself to wait for my so-called better days. Relationship with my fellow black ladies don't just work. My obsession with white ladies scares me some times to the extend that I some time reason if am really normal.
I really need your help cos I don't wanna remain single for the rest of my life.

 

I Married A Nigerian, The Best Descision I've Ever Made

[YOUTUBE]GHYRgjdrR5w[/YOUTUBE]

 

For anybody that's interested, the Facebook page mentioned in the opening post is here. There's quiet a few interesting stories.

 

People talk bad about BM but we don't do shit like this....though part of me wish we did.

Getting disowned is something BW don't ever have to worry about.

If anybody gets shunned in our community it will be a BM.
Just look at the Black actors like Tyreese CRYING because BW have SHUNNED them for dating WW.

Brothers have turned down prominent roles from fear of offending BW.

You don't see BW turning down IR roles from fear of a BM backlash..as a matter of fact...the BW is the ONLY female on the planet that doesn't face a backlash from her male counterpart or community.

You sure as hell don't see white male actors crawling and crying to WW because they shook hands with a sister in a movie...let alone dated one.

I believe in equality.

If BM get stomped in the streets for dating non-black women then they should be stomped as well.

If WW...Latinas....Arab women...ect ect... get shunned and disowned for dating BM them BW should get the same treatment.

WM and BW should not be exempt.

They should be looiking over their shoulders just as much as BM/WW.

Call me wrong or cold....but you see...unlike most BM...I understand the POLITICS of SEX and RACE.

BM live in a sexist sisterhood and they don't even know it..:smt006

 

I was on hater site the other day, they posted a story on Eve announcing her and white boyfriend's wedding location. Black women were congratulating her in the comment section, saying "love has no color", "I love a white man who appreciates black women" and other types of shit. hater site posted a story on Taye Diggs new girlfriend, I seen comments like "he has self hate", "this man is colorstruck".
One BW even threatened to cut her support of Jamie Foxx's movies because he dates white women. Most of the time the women that complain about a BM celeb dating white women, are not even attracted to that particular BM. Reminds of the scene from 'Higher Learning' where Malik asks Deja if it pisses her off to see Morris Chestnut's character with a white woman. She gave the perfect response "I don't want him".

Sick of the hypocrisy.

 

The blatant hypocrisy is made even more annoying when they boldly admit to it. I've heard on more than one occasion a bw say it's ok for them to date wm but not ok for bm to date ww, because "it's the males responsibility to uplift the bw".... if that's true; What's the female's responsibility?

 

Without a doubt the dumbest shit I've heard all year. Its so stupid its not even funny.