I don't accept the premise. This type of talk bothers me because I think that one should marry/be with whoever they love regardless of color. If a black man is with a black woman, and they love each other, that is great. If a black woman is with a white man, and they love each ... wonderful! And so on. Likewise if a black man is with a white woman and they love each other, they should be given the same benefit. I don't like it when it is assumed that a black man is only with a white woman as some last resort. The default is that a black man is supposed to be with a black woman. From my observations, anything outside of that is portrayed as unnatural in the black community. Something has gone wrong. It simply cannot be that he loves that woman and she loves him. He must be "tired" of black women or hate them or had bad experiences, so he decided to try white women. "I had to go to white women because black women are [enter sterotype here]" Several books have been written portraying white women as scandalous money hungry whores taking the good educated black men (One of these books states that 50% of black doctors marry a non-black woman) and by perpetuating this, it creates a ton of animosity for white women from black women. A black woman can see 100 bm/bw couples and think nothing of it, but the time she sees a bm/wm couple, she thinks -because of these films, talk shows and books- that white women are stealing "their" men. Even some mainstream films have subtlely perpetuated this in the smallest of ways. A couple of examples that come to mind are in "Trading Places", the white woman whispering something in Eddie Murphy's ear and winking at him, "The Toy" with the nanny and Blazing Saddles' Madeline Kahn. There are others that I can't think of right now that make the subtle point My point is that this type of thing only creates more animosity toward white women.
And, so do I, that's why I support the film... and, another example of the movie's message is: the conversations you would read in BET.com, blackplanet, and especially in the movie's forum also, the ones you would read in here :roll:
And your points are taken, since they are all well-written and profound, but still support the movie because I still believe that this flim could be used as a way of fighting fire with fire against the mainstream media. Sorry, but I still believe this, even though you're absolutely right about it all.
I can see your point, but I just feel that they are taking the wrong angle here. "I am resorting to white women, because I am 'tired' of black women" I feel that that cheapens interracial relationships and white women. The frame of debate is messed up from the start. This is what makes some black women feel angry when she sees a white woman who has "stolen my man" and point her outraged finger at the white interloper and assume that if "that white bitch" hadn't taken that prospective mate, he would have been hers for the taking. I would be interested in knowing if this "tired black man" in this movie "sees the light" and returns to black women This propagation, I feel, also makes this issue complicated because of the fact that this is said so often there are non-black women that believe this too. I was reading once where a Latina has told her black husband (an MIT grad) repeatedly that if she is to die first, he is not to marry a black woman but instead should "go out hunting for an Asian or a white girl, because they know how to appreciate and love a good black man." Then of course, you have black men who date white women, who get a kick out of "sticking it to black women" by rubbing their noses in those arguments ("you don't know how to treat me") in their face, just to see them get angry. I've seen it
But consider this.... How often do we see and read about wealthy educated black men with wealthy educated white women of similar background versus wealthy educated black women of similar background? And then, how often do see and read about these same black men with white women with lesser education and wealth versus black women with lesser education and wealth? I believe the common belief is that a upper/middle income white women would be far less likely inclined to pursue a black man than a working-class white woman. Afterall, there seems not much to be found, in statistics or everyday observances, that disproves this belief.
I can understand how you feel, but without controversy brought to the attention of John Q. Public, no social issues of any kind will ever get resolved, in fact, they worsen overtime if they are NOT addressed. Look how long it took for the media to actually feature black men and white women together as a bonafide couple on screen (even WITH the negative aspects of it :roll: ) Still, that message in the movie has a point to consider. It may not be the best route to take against the intolerance of black women who disapprove the relationships, but it's start, no doubt, and don't get me started on 'Something New.' (if anyone can call it that) This is very true, but there are black women who would watch this movie and think to themselves that he was 'stolen by a white girl' for a reason. LOL... Really? She told him that? Well, if he married HER, then he's probably stupid enough to believe it also. Sounds like a good plot for Tired Black Man 2?
actually, i believe that for some people going IR because of their experience with some people of their own race is a very valid point. everyone being an individual, if a certain person has been rejected by say, BW and treated badly by them, why shouldnt they try others? I would agree to their choice in loved ones. just my 2 cents