mother of columbine shooter puts out her message

i live in colorado so this story although national news was very close to home...i remember where i was that day...in cherry creek working a makeup event at a salon...to say that our city became paralyzed would be an understatement...

here is the article announcing that dylan's mother will for the first time in O magazine tell how heavy her heart has been being the mother of a killer

to start a discussion: how would you feel as a parent if your child killed someone? what if they then killed themselves?

i will watch for the story in O and do a follow up


Liz Neporent

On April 20, 1999, Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris entered Columbine High School in Jefferson County, Colorado, and systematically embarked on a massacre. When their rampage was over, 12 students and one teacher were dead and 24 others were injured. Ultimately, the two turned their guns on themselves and committed suicide

For the first time since the shootings Susan Klebold, Dylan’s mother, is speaking out. When her essay is published in next month’s issue of "O, the Oprah Magazine,"it will be the first time one of the parents of the killers has offered detailed public remarks.

In the essay Klebold says she had "no inkling" of her son's inner turmoil. "For the rest of my life, I will be haunted by the horror and anguish Dylan caused," she writes. "I cannot look at a child in a grocery store or on the street without thinking about how my son's schoolmates spent the last moments of their lives. Dylan changed everything I believed about myself, about God, about family, and about love."

Is it possible a parent could be unaware that her child was so deeply disturbed? “Some people miss the signs while others ignore them,” notes Jeffrey L. Brown, a clinical behavioral psychologist in the department of psychiatry at McLean Hospital in Boston. “But her journey is her journey. Who is to say what she knew and what she didn’t? No one truly knows her experience except her.”

Michelle Bornstein, a licensed clinical psychologist for a New York City school that encompasses all grades, agrees. “I think if a parent is in denial it is possible to miss the signs. They are not always in bright lights.”

When Klebold recalls the last time she spoke to her son, she admits that she was clueless about why he was angry that fateful morning.

"Early on April 20, I was getting dressed for work when I heard Dylan bound down the stairs and open the front door. Wondering why he was in such a hurry when he could have slept another 20 minutes, I poked my head out of the bedroom. 'Dyl?' All he said was 'Bye.' The front door slammed, and his car sped down the driveway. His voice had sounded sharp. I figured he was mad because he'd had to get up early to give someone a lift to class. I had no idea that I had just heard his voice for the last time."

Klebold’s article goes on to say that her son’s participation in the massacre was impossible for her to accept until she read his journals and began to understand his own desire to kill himself. "Once I saw his journals, it was clear to me that Dylan entered the school with the intention of dying there," she writes. But Borstein points out that the impetus for homicide and suicide are very different. “It sounds as if she may be using his suicide to explain what he did to others. It does seem as if he was planning to kill himself afterwards, but it could have been an impulsive act. There is simply no way to know.”

“It is fair to say that many people who kill themselves have given up hope for the future and certainly someone who carries out such a premeditated act would predict the future isn’t going to be hopeful,” Brown adds.

In a news release, Oprah Winfrey also noted that Susan Klebold had previously declined interview requests but then, several months ago, agreed to write about her personal experience. Klebold received no payment for her contribution. Instead, she hoped to "raise suicide awareness and to generate support for organizations such as The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention[/color] and the American Association of Suicidology." A spokesperson for the family said there would be no further comment and there were no plans for Klebold to appear on Oprah’s talk show. The magazine hits the stands Tuesday, October 13.

 

i love my son with all my heart so if he hurt someone i would still love him no matter what...with a heavy heart i would regret not seeing the signs...i would feel remorse...if my son took his own life i fear that i would not be able to go on living...i hope that i never have to go through what a parent of a murdered or suicidal child has to go through

 

I don't even think I could say much to this, I remember this situation very well. I don't have kids so, but it sounds like a very dynamic situation, I could only imagine (which I wish I didn't have to).

What I can say towards the situation is that I fell very strongly about situations like these, where people have been masacered. I would gladly die trying to save my life & the life of others. I'm not goin, not without a fight, nope. I feel bad for this woman though.