Mom's letter to Princeton women urges them to find husbands

Discussion in 'Conversations Between White Women and Black Men' started by goodlove, Apr 2, 2013.

  1. The Dark King

    The Dark King Well-Known Member

    At least you're honest.

    Does make me wish I had buckled down more. Maybe wouldn't have gotten into an ivy but I would have gotten some scholarships and wouldn't have any debt. Should have listened to my parents more than my damn friends :(
     
  2. pettyofficerj

    pettyofficerj New Member

    at least YOU'RE honest

    :p

    on the real though...i believe that with enough work and dedication, many of us could have gone anywhere...if we REALLY wanted to

    there's nothing 'genius' about studying more, doing homework and conducting independent research to supplement what you already receive
     
  3. The Dark King

    The Dark King Well-Known Member

    very true. Maybe its not too late
     
  4. pettyofficerj

    pettyofficerj New Member

    it's not, stop trippin

    sure some doors have closed as we've gotten older, but some are still open

    you just need to stop bullshittin and apply yourself

    there's a lot you could be doing right now
     
  5. Gorath

    Gorath Well-Known Member

    A human being, no matter what stage they are in life, never stops learning. Education is your salvation.
     
  6. pettyofficerj

    pettyofficerj New Member

    Well in that case praise the lord and pass the cornbread cuz we gone learn today
     
  7. KWillo

    KWillo Active Member

    Ha marriages stopped being about "love" when medical and financial benefits get involved.Though, "arranged" marriages like many of them over in the far East last much longer than the ones in this country unfortunately.
     
  8. stiletoes

    stiletoes Well-Known Member

    It is difficult to find the teamwork element, but it is there :)
     
  9. stiletoes

    stiletoes Well-Known Member

    Agreed, hence why I will most likely not remarry. I have been in love and have had a much better relationship outside of marriage.
     
  10. pettyofficerj

    pettyofficerj New Member

    love is love

    the institution of marriage is overrated (as a symbol of commitment), unless you count the financial benefits

    statistics on marriage are shit...many people don't really believe in that 'til death do us part' at all
     
  11. RaiderLL

    RaiderLL Well-Known Member

    Agree 100%. "Marriage" is a piece if paper...it doesn't make a relationship valid. And with marriage stats as ridiculously depressing as they are, it's hard to view it as a forever endeavor.
     
  12. pettyofficerj

    pettyofficerj New Member

    it's not

    people are treating marriage like a joke more and more as time goes on

    some social theorists believe it's due to the changing culture of America, where individualism is becoming more prominent. no longer are people willing to weather fire and ice with tremendous gut and endless resolve. more people are like shit, once this life gets tough or boring, i'm out for something better.

    which is odd considering 'marriage' is supposed to represent a family. how many people do you know 'divorced' their cousin..or brother..or sister...or mother...for whatever fucking reason? from my understanding, marriage was supposed to be like adding more family to the one you already have.
     
  13. stiletoes

    stiletoes Well-Known Member

    I think it is easier to weather the storm out when not married because to choose to be with the person noncontractually.
     
  14. The Dark King

    The Dark King Well-Known Member

    He is right though there is this stark individualism that makes people rather selfish where sticking something out doesn't seem in their best interest. People feel like they don't need other people anymore and you can see it relationships. Maybe marriage/relationships need to be more open because for a lot of people who step out or just plain leave its sense of feeling trapped and/or a need to experience other people.
     
  15. stiletoes

    stiletoes Well-Known Member

    I think it has more to do with how personal values change as you get older.
     
  16. The Dark King

    The Dark King Well-Known Member

    possibly or people have just think about themselves more than ever.
    I noticed that women on here who talked about getting divorced and being annoyed at how their exes still pined for them. Its like there is zero compassion because it didn't dawn on them that these are men that they started families with and spent a large chunk of their lives with yet it was surprising dudes were quick to hold on. Its this culture of not only do my needs come first but its pretty much all that matters. I'm not judging these women because I personally didn't live their lives but there's far more me me me than we we we going on in this world now.
     
  17. RaiderLL

    RaiderLL Well-Known Member

    You say you're not judging, but you are. Pretty easy to do considering you've never been married.

    There's a difference between being pined for, and being stalked; Being still cared for, and being harrassed. Until you live in those shoes, don't pretend to understand. I think it's really easy to sit on the sidelines and judge others, but try talking to me when you've played the game, struggled every second with your decision to get out, then get judged by others for doing what you think is best for you/yours.

    People act like getting out of a marriage is a ho-hum decision, based on purely selfish needs. I'm sure there are some youngins who do that, but for most adults it's an incredibly painful decision, which is not taken lightly. Ending a partnership that was intended to be for life is the hardest decision one may ever make. IMO, your post seems to trivialize that.
     
  18. The Dark King

    The Dark King Well-Known Member

    By your own admission you said you had never considered part of the reason he was holding on so tightly was because of how long you'd been together and what you had built and I never said it was easy but lack of certain considerations does illustrate a growing meme/cultural perspective of what's best for me above all else. Not saying its wrong, not saying you aren't with in your right to think that way but it does speak to yet another reason why this marriage thing is going down in flames.
     
  19. RaiderLL

    RaiderLL Well-Known Member

    Who the fuck cares why he's still holding on? At the end of the day, his reasons for holding on don't change the fact that the marriage is over. At a certain point, showing too much "consideration" can give a false sense of hope that something may be able to be salvaged.

    You don't get it...and you won't get it because you've not been through it. I'll refrain from making any additional comments because I have no desire to argue with you about something you have no experience in.
     
  20. pettyofficerj

    pettyofficerj New Member

    oh now she went and done it

    it's going to be a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooong night folks

    [​IMG]
     

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