Minnesota Interracial Dating/Marriage (article)

Here's an article from the Star Tribune (Minneapolis) newspaper about BM/WF IR:

Three and a half years ago, I wrote a Single Life column that was headlined: "A black woman wonders: What's up with the Minnesota dating game?" Well, I'm still wondering.

In particular, I wondered what was up with all the couples comprising black men and white women. It seemed so predominant and a cause for concern. Now, census figures prove what I and many other black women in Minnesota -- single or married -- had figured out: Many black men here are not dating or marrying black women. Add that to the fact that men of other races don't seem interested in black women, either, and it's downright scary!

A front-page story in last Sunday's Star Tribune said "blacks and Asians in Minnesota are much likelier than their counterparts nationally to marry outside their own race."

No kidding!

The census data involving blacks is the most startling: Among married black men in Minnesota, 44 percent have wives who are not black; among married black women in the state, 14 percent have husbands who are not black. Nationally, the figures are 7 percent for men and 3 percent for women. So again I ask, what's up with this?

If 44 percent of married black men in Minnesota are going over to the white side, compared with only 14 percent of married black women, what does this mean?

It means a lot of lonely weekends for a lot of black women.

As I said in the previous column, I am not opposed to interracial dating and marriage. Not at all. But only if people date for the right reasons: compatibility, attraction, similar interests -- the reasons you would date anyone. But I've met quite a few black men -- and some white women -- who date only outside their race.

What's that about? Does it mean a kind of self-hatred, a discomfort around people who look like you? It seems fairly obvious that some brothers are looking only for a trophy, a hey-look-at-what-I've-got date. And my white sisters may be still acting out a rebelliousness that should have gone by the wayside in their teens, an in-your-face-mom-and-dad-and-society attitude.

But the census figures raise the question: Why is the interracial marriage scenario in Minnesota so one-sided? There are more women than men in the United States -- in the world, for that matter. So there is really no necessity for white men to deliberately seek out black women. Even after the married brothers -- 44 percent, remember -- have made a dent in the white female population, there are still plenty of white women to choose from.

That leaves a lot of black women alone.

It also explains the malevolent stares that couples made up of black men and white women sometimes receive from black women. That's not right; these couples may be together for all the right reasons, but it is understandable.

Brothers who date exclusively outside their race often justify their actions by saying black women are difficult, indifferent and hard to get along with. Did they ever stop to think it's a chicken-and-egg situation? Which came first, black women's supposed difficulty, or their often shabby treatment by black men who should cherish them?

The Kid Rasta 8)

 

Listen, all this about BW not getting this and that; they probably are not that attractive to begin with. Attractive BW have no problems finding men who are attracted to them. Point blank.

Now, if these when are not attractive, then they have to be the aggressors. But wait, BW are way too above that. I mean, even WW do that. :lol:

 

They blame their lonely nights on the BM who date IR. I mean, who else do women blame their problems on? Of course it's men. It can, in no way possible, be women. Perhaps, these 'lonely women' should look at their-selves in the mirror, and say what is wrong with me, instead of putting the blame on men, particularly BM.

 

wowsa

I live in Minnesota and i know why this is. There are many sides to this. White woman tend to be extra nurturing. Meaning some like to pay for bills for men and all kinds of crazy stuff. I know a few black woman so now i am not speaking for all of them but alot of the men here have dogged out the black woman and they are like forget it i wont deal with your crap. So since this is the case they go over to the white woman who put up with everything under the sun. Now again not all white woman are like this.

However the article wasn't completely true the ratio of black woman dating white woman is huge in fact its as common as black men with white woman if not more common so this article is completely inaccurate.
A lot of good white woman find it hard to find the good black men. In fact i find it easier to date men who are not from here originally. I will not date black men who have lived in Minnesota all of there lives as they have no clue how to treat a woman.
Just my 2 cents.

 

Re: wowsa

It is like I said attractive BW have NO PROBLEMS finding men who are attracted to them and will purse them. Listen, this is coming from a BM. Men will only purse attractive women, personalty and all that other rubbish, is just that rubbish.

 

Thank you

I agree and besides who needs a man to be happy. If you are happy and confident in your life men will come. I have plenty of men trying to talk to me even a few who want relationships.. However i don't want just anyone.

Black woman need to stop sitting at home crying and winning being angry and get out there be successful happy and men will come flocking.
And if these stupid white woman would stop paying for men's bills and forgiving after her man has cheated on her over and over men would stop the games.. But i am opening a can of worms so ill stop now.

 

Re: Thank you

:lol: Thank you! I saw this coming the whole time.

You prove my point. Women are stupid. But hey, if they want to continue to make pain and sorrow their foundation then that is on them. It is simple, these women are not attractive. Point black.

There are no white men coming to the rescue of these women either. Why? Why have an hooked up civic, when you have an exotic car, or maybe you are not that fancy and prefer the BMW M3. It is SIMPLE socialbiology really. Gotta love natural selection. But wait, I'm an angry, bitter, sexist pig for pointing it out. Right?

I do not know ANY attractive BW who limits her dating options to just BM. That is just moronic.

 

Re: wowsa

Not necessarily Seven. Well, not for me at least. As a matter of fact, i mostly overlook the very attractive women and instead focus on the ones who are maybe a bit lower in overall looks. I do notice the attractive women just like everyone else, but i won't pursue a girl just cause she's hot you know. Of course, she has to have some kind of attractiveness to her, but a really sweet girl with a big smile will win me over way before really good looks will. I don't think it's rubbish at all.

 

Re: wowsa

Of course, of course she does not have to be a bombshell for her to be attractive TO YOU. This is common knowledge. Some men often DATE DOWN. I really do not see what the problem is. I guess you can you can say ALL women date down, because it is impossible to meet their standards.

 

Re: Just my 2 cents

Ahhhhh yes.......equality? What women wants equality when it does not favour her? :lol:

Can a women even survive an open debate? :lol:

 

Minnesota...

Just goes to show you, every place develops its own cultural dynamic... From workplaces to cities, everywhere has it's own culture... Without national media to 'coordinate the hate,' who knows what interesting things might happen nationwide!

Anyway, women who live in San Francisco have some of the same complaints: the absence of eligible bachelors. Best bet is for them to move elsewhere... Minnesota sounds like a good thing going on...

If only my city ("nazi york") could be as free-minded as minnesota.

----

Anyway, what I really want to say is this: The author, as is typical, ascribes negative motives for the bm and ww who hook up...

...Same old, tired "white women as trophies" nonsense that says more about her admiration for white women than it does about black men's *real* motives...

Later, she comes back down to earth...

She gets points for being among the few bw authors who acknowledge that "the attitude" might be more than a figment of bm's imaginations.

Of course, she'll never understand that most of the brothers dishing out that "shabby treatment" she mentions mostly go from bw to bw to bw. The ones going for white women exclusively are often guys who are first alienated by "the attitude"...

---

If interracial dating bugs you, what should be "cherished" is the basic congeniality toward one another that is a necessary precursor for any black on black romance. This is something that was in very short supply in my day...

 

Re: Thank you

BW pay bills for WM and mexicans like you'd never believe..

Don't believe that strong BW bullshit..they're like Geisha girls around WM and Non BM..

 

Well well

Hum well actualy i prefer traditionaly households. I dont need complete equality however i need a man who is going to at least take care of his own responsibilities. Sometimes problems arrise and you have to pick up the slack no big deal. However when a woman is taking care financially for 100 % of everything that is a problem.



Hey flirtymomma,

What's wrong with women being extra nurturing? I like a woman who is extra nurturing. Many men do also. In fact, I won't date a woman who is not extra nurturing. Just my 2 cents.

As for women paying the bills for men ... there are many more men paying for women's bills in every state of the USA (than the reverse). Are these men crazy for supporting their women? Or are they just considered men? Are these men considered "extra nurturing" just because they pay women's bills? Or are they just considered men?

By the way, many men are cheated on by women these days. Are these men crazy if they forgive their wayward wives or girlfriends? Women don't play games on men these days?

What's wrong with women taking on bread-winning roles? What's wrong with real equality, for a change?

Peace,
chili-out

 

Re: Well well

I'm starting to get the idea that the 'independent women' is quite the myth. What 'independent women' wants to be an traditional housewife? What is wrong with an women paying all her man's bills, if she is 'independent?'

This is where 'independent women' is quite the oxymoron. She may be excelling career wise; but, she still expects her future husband to make equal or more then she does. Thus, depending quite HEAVILY on her man near future. This is not 'independent' at all. In fact, it is quite DEPENDENT. Dating, women still expect men to court them. Of course, I have no problem doing the courting, because well......I'M THE MAN, but I do not want to hear i'm 'independent,' when you EXPECT the man to ALWAYS court the bill. Again this is DEPENDENT. Any man who actually believes a women is 'independent' is quite the fool. Socialbiology tells us, that women will always see men as the providers. Thus, becoming DEPENDENT in marriage.

So women who keep crying out loud 'i'm independent' are only fooling themselves. :lol: Of course, i'm angry and bitter for point it out.

 

You do appear to be angry and bitter,

but there is some truth in what you are saying. The Women's liberation movement stormed the doors of patriarchy but failed to clearly define what they meant by independence.

Is it independence to still wait for a man to ask you out? or have him pay the bills?

I have found that Independent women of all races have the same notions and definitions of what is required of the man in a relationship and most of it sounds pretty traditional.

Me i want want my woman working.

 

Perhaps it is my business like no nonsense attitude. But, there is only 2 things women can do about it. Nothing and like it.

By the very defintion of independent, not subject to authority or control, not belonging to or supported by a party, ungoverned not being politically supported by one party. By its very meaning women are not independent. Now, you want to talk about walking contradictions, this my friend is an contradiction.

I agree, a women should work. I do not want, I refuse to pay alimony for some traditional crazed women, who will soon dump my sorry arse for not being perfect. :lol:

 

SHOCK HORROR!!!!!!!! You're NOT perfect??????? :smt005 (Sorry, I couldn't resist! LOL - I AM just kidding!)

 

LOL perfect? Do you enjoy provoking me? :lol: Yummmmm............yes physically perfect yep. It is only possible for me to pass on my superior genetic code to the women whom I see most fit. I hope it is a boy, because I will raise him in my likeness. I will take under my wing, he will understand my values through my virtues in which I will teach. He will understand my business like mentality about life, doing so he will become razor sharp. He will understand the evil and corruption inside of humans hearts, with this he will become extra cunning and aware of human manipulation. And no female will tell me how to raise him otherwise.

 

You are absolutely TOO much!!! Provoking you? No, I just enjoy the verbal exchanges. :wink:

 

really now

So because I'm independent and have a great career and want a traditional houshold.. Funny how you assume traditionally means money.. But whatever.
Traditional household to me means the man is the head of the household. But I'm guessing you wont get that cause everything is about money right.
I have been in multiple relationships where i made more money than my man or husband. Big whoop. Money isn't what i am talking about. Having a man who is ambitious and successful in his career even if its general manager at a McDonald's the ambition is attractive to me. Being about something. Funny what assumptions do to you. Being an independent woman and having equal rights and paying a mans bills don't all have to go hand in hand. In today's society 99 % of the woman have to work then come home clean cook do laundry and take care of the kids. Where some of the men do not help in this when it comes to household duties.. The problem in America appears to be some obvious and i don't have to say what it is for anyone to have a clue. And this ac cross the board as i have dated all races creeds and cultures. This message board is a trip. People don't ask they just go off about nothing and anything. Ignorance is bliss. So independent career woman have to take care of there man. Id rather be a single happy independent career woman going on trips to Jamaica with my daughter then be with someone who would want to have any woman pay there bills.. Says a lot about you playas.