Men, women and lies

I have to say, I agree with this. There are tons and tons and tons of threads on this forum, and most likely, what you want to talk about has already been put out there, so why not bump an old thread and give it new life?

I always try to do a search for the topic (current events notwithstanding) I'm about to post about before I start a thread.

 

I have created new threads, they were just not that negative, so I guess they didn't interest you.

I will sit down and think of something that you might like.
Since my "friend" post caught your eye immediately, maybe something about friendship and those people who are just faking it?
I know people love drama.

 

I don't see these topics as negative, I just see these as deeper darker adult discussions. Many times when I bump threads I had an experience so I use the search function to seek answers or elaborate on my personal experience which has occurred.

Sorry I'm not into rainbows and unicorns but if I find your topic intertesting I'll most certainly drop a dime as I have in the past. Plus don't you get sick of seeing 4north1side2 all over the place, I know I sure do lol.

 

Since my recent rejoining of the whole dating crap thing after 13 yrs of being with one liar since I was 14, I've yet to meet any other man who didn't lie his ass off. It's really sickening. The last one who underestimated my Nancy Drew abilities lied to me about his name and being in prison for aggravated domestic battery. Then he tried to say I'm on BS and doing too much, LoL, right.
Another fake bitch bites the dust.
Lucky for me, I've finally realized that the whole "one and only", "happily ever after", "true love", "soul mate", "the one" and monogamy are nothing more than little girl childish fantasies and I need to grow the fuck up and face reality.
Another eye opener for me is this married guy who fucks me (and others) sometimes and I see his wife all on her Facebook posting about how wonderful and trustworthy he is, and how lucky and blessed she is to have found him, and how "rare" her husband is and all that kind of shit. My heart goes out to her and I'm glad I'm not going to be in her place ever again because I know it's all crap, all BS. Just fuck 'em when you're horny, use protection because he's lying anyway, and let that be it and all you expect and you won't get hurt or be looking like a stupid fool wife when the other women he's fucking see all the mushy crap you say about him and your phony relationship.

 

Lying is never "necessary". However, it happens all.the.time. IMO, people can either be cognizant of that fact and live/act accordingly, or they can sit back and naively trust that their relationship is based solely on honesty. Humans are imperfect beings so to trust wholely seems a bit misguided to me. Doesn't mean you can't let people in, while still protecting yourself on some level.

 

I'm trying to stop lying myself but its hard. It seems that everyone likes to be pacified with lies. I know women for one love adseums like "I rather you hurt me with the truth, than make me feel good with a lie" BULLCRAP! The truth has always slapped the fuck out of me and made the relationship turn toxic but when I lie my ass off, we are on the best of terms not surprisingly. This goes for jobs and even my children too.

 

Ok, I might as well put my 2 cents in here....

I HATE LYING.

The worst was one guy who said he would never lie to me and than lied his fucking black ass off later on.
If you want to be a good liar you need a very good memory and that's one thing he doesn't have.
So if you don't realize that you are totally contradicting yourself with your lies, you are in trouble sooner or later (plus you look like a damn fool).

I have been raised that lying is the worst you can do.
My Dad always said that he would forgive everything but lying.
I tried to live that in my relationship but since the guy didn't mind lying, of course it didn't work.
I started lying myself and turned into a person that I couldn't stand no more.

Question to the other forum members:
Is lying and not telling EVERYTHING about your life the same thing?

I'm not talking about hiding that you have been to prison, or you are HIV positive, or you have slept with your man's best friend.
I'm talking about small things like you met an ex at the supermarket and you talked for 5 minutes.
You know your man hates your ex and would go ballistic if he knew.
Is not telling him lying?

Or maybe some guy approached you and asked for a date.
You turned it down cause you are into a relationship, but you don't tell your man about since he is madly jealous and would give you a hard time, even if you turned the guy down. Is that lying?

I'm really curious about this, because it's something I had to do a lot to keep the peace.
I didn't like it, but it was neccessary, until I got tired of it and realized that what's really neccessary is a break up.

 

To answer your questions in those two situation, no, I don't believe that's lying. If your partner ASKED you if saw your ex or if someone asked you out, and you told him no, that's lying. But simply not offering that information is not lying. You can't control circumstances, you can only control your response to them. If you did right by your partner then your conscience is clear and you have no more reason to tell him about those two things than you do anything else that happened in your day. JMO.

 

Whether lying is right or not, in my estimation, is all contingent upon the context of the situation.

 

Even tho withholding certain types of information can be devious as lying, but that's not lying tho... but your boyfriend doesn't need to know everything that goes on in your daily life either. Yeah I used to think my significant other meant my best friend I could confide everything to.... wasn't the cast.

This is lying to keep the peace.

My sons are well behaved boys for the most part but when I go to the barbershop and have to sit their lil butts down till I get finished, they get really antsy n fidgety during all that waiting. Since I'm stuck in the chair they'll keep doing lil shit that pisses me off but I can bark sit down, be good...after a while that shit is tiring... so I lie to them with hallow promise, "stay still and I'll buy you a new game, candy, etc" they finally sit the fuck down and cause me no more grief.

 

The Lying Game

There are some dam good men out there and some dam good women as well.

Behind every great man is a great woman....now this can be there mom, grandmother, sister, wife, mistress, or girlfriend.

I prefer to give men the benefit of the doubt as well as women, but let's face it, no matter what lie is told or truth never surfaced here are 2 things I know;

-Men as well as women want to be needed.
-Women tend to be much more emotional then men

Men like to get down, women do as well, they just tend to get more attached quicker than a man does...

Men and women lie. Now, not mentioning something is not a lie. Something may be better left unsaid. If noone asks then a person doesn't tell but if you are asked and backed in a corner they feel like a cat and crap falls out the mouth.

I think confidence within ourselves provide the tools to be truthful. When a person truly matters (guy or girl) lies rarely surface, things are just not brought up.

 

So today my ex lies to me about being broken up with his girlfriend for the last week and about his father dying the day before yesterday, all so he could get $30 "for him and I to go to his dad's wake because even though we're broken up, I'm the closest person to him and he needs me to be there for him because his father just died". He even cried and stuff. Yep.

 

its all just playing games, and why bother with all of that just to get a bit of ass, or to trap someone into what you believe is a relationship?
if you are lying to someone, then the ''relationship'' isn't real anyway, its just a pretense. why would anyone be so desperate to have someone that they want to do that?
and if men (or lets be straight, in a lot of cases too...but yeah, sorry guys, it really is usually men) just want to get laid there are plenty of people out there only to happy to go to bed with you just on that simple basis without more games.
I feel sorry for anyone who feels they have to lie to hold on to something that was never really there in the first place, not truly anyway.

 

Prostitutes can become expensive.

 

haha yes, but there really are women who just want to get laid without anything else involved, where no money has to change hands, maybe just a drink or two and a taxi home lol.

 

It's not always just "playing games".
Sometimes theres more to the story.
Relationships and people can be complicated cause we all got our fears and scars from the past.
I don't believe in lies, but I will always look for the reason a person did it and what the lie was about.
Sometimes people are scared to tell the truth or embarrassed.

 

U4E, I was going to write up a long response but Ches just about summed it up. As long as you're not doing wrong or being deceptive there's no need to your s/o every itty bitty detail.

If I was speeding and a police officer pulled me over and asked "Were you speeding?" I'm going to lie and say no to avoid a ticket or jail. Sometimes it's necessary. But I'm never going to lie about who I am,or about shit I don't have to make myself look good in front of people. Accept me as I am or don't fuck with me.

 

There's so much truth to this. It is sad that sometimes our hurts/fears force people to lie to us and vice versa.

 

Iz callin the popo and tellin them. What beach do you live on?!

 

Yeah, yeah exceptions to the rule blah blah blah. Only select men got it like that...