Looks or Personality?

I think as you mature you realize what you wanted is as available as you once did and you change your mind. I think heartbreak does teach you that, numerous disappointments to show you what works and what doesn't.

 

LOL There are plenty of women who are just looking to play. They play with one type of guy and marry another....much like men do. It's one of the best kept secrets out there.

When I used to play with pretty boys...I had no interest in a relationship with them. I've had many friends over the years who have done the same.

 

That's a huge rarity
Women fundamentally don't work the way we do when it comes to sex. There are chemicals that bond you to a person after you have sex that men don't have.
It's to keep them from having children by other men.
Not saying it never happens but its from the norm.
Like there are men who are probably better nurturers than some women but its an instinct that you have stronger in you than we do on the regular

 

I agree with you. However, I think it's changing more and more. In many ways women are becoming more like men. And in some ways men are becoming more like women.

Just like more and more women are cheating in relationships. It used to be thought it was all about looking for the emotional connection and so forth. But more and more are doing it for sex.

I think with longer life expectancy, women making their own money and many out there having children and feeling they don't "need" a man, etc things have changed and will continue to do so.

 

Completely wrong... wouldn't have the phrase "can't turn a ho into a housewife" if it wasn't true

 

Lol a secret to lames and dudes wet behind the ears maybe....

 

I would really think men would realize this and that it would not be a secret. However, it seems to come up often. It just goes to show that women have been very good at it.

 

Unless you are asexual, sapiosexual, or blind, don't lie to yourself and say that personality matters exclusively, as a means to bend over your own reality. Looks do matter, to an extent, while personality goes a long way. However, a certain level of physical appeal would have to be factored into what you desire in someone, upon initial contact. From there, let words and intellect sway the minds, unless the walls are still up.

 

Maybe. Dating profiles and what women actually say begs to differ not to mention all the biological drives we've had for over 200 years

 

I've always heard that woman were good at lying and cheating, that's a joke. Woman are horrible at it and just as messy as men. The only difference is women settle with sucka ass dudes who are just happy she looked his direction so he isn't worried about sneakiness.

 

This is very true. I think both a necessary for full attraction.

 

I've been saying this for the past 10 years... roles definitely have changed.

 

Maybe. It's not my experience or that which I've seen from women in my life but I'm sure it's the case for some.

Yup. Pretty boys are good for a few phases in life, but looks alone wouldn't get them any real effort on my part. The few guys I've put effort into had looks and personality. If you're going to make something long term, I think you truly need both. Good looks would always get my attention but that alone would never keep my attention.

 

I was once a pretty boy that was capable of bringing what was needed to the table. I've retired the pretty boy status.

 

You are just one of the rare ones that bring it all.

 

OH geeze you really believe dating profiles? I would think you have dated enough to know how much bullshit they are.

You happen to be in the age range where women are wanting to have kids and are more focused on finding the man to marry and have kids with.

There are those out there who aren't into all that and they would rather play. There are those who are into all that (or have been at one point) but they aren't in that at the moment and are out to play. Take a hard look at the clubs and all the party girls around. The young ones who aren't ready or looking to settle down (yet). Those who just got divorced and are out to play. Those who did the settle down thing and it wasn't their thing so they ran off to play. Older women who have no interest in ever settling down again and who are out playing. And on and on it goes.

You may not be aware of it as much because you may be more the type they want to marry.

When I went through times in life that I thought I just wanted to play, it didn't work too well for me....mostly because I'm one they want to marry. So even if I went into it as hey we are just playing, they'd start talking life plans, try to get me to meet the family, and lock things up.

Funny thing is that I now hear a lot of men (45-55) talking about how the women aren't wanting relationships and are just out looking to play. Maybe cause they are the type of man women just want to play with and not settle down with. IDK

 

Interesting.

Maybe part of it is that there is still a thing where people don't expect women to be out cheating too.

 

well stated

 

Fair assessment, guess the down to play types aren't in my orbit

 

We've discussed this guy a few times during our football Sundays at the football spot. All of us are in the 44-55 age group, but we all seem to take it as it comes. Probably why we get along so well.