Lookism? Beauty Standards?

whoa apparently pretty/beautiful people get depressed too for good reason.

http://www.hulu.com/watch/2997/the-art-of-seduction-not-pretty-really

but if that's the case what happens to the average - ugly person?

what is considered -pretty-average-ugly is relevant to the culture but what happens?

 

In regard to look and things in life that we are born with, there are only few things that you can change and buy.

If you're worried about your appearance, go to the gym to improve your body. If concerned about your skin, look into some great skin care lines available all over the internet.

If you want to alter your facial appearance, you can make a permanent and highly unrecommended change by getting plastic surgery. Unfortunately, it will make you exactly that. Plastic. Do you want to be that?

If you're concerned about not having enough money or a good enough education, get a tutor. Study more. Set yourself up for some of the best universities in the nation and work towards getting a scholarship to pay for it.

If you're concerned about money, look into jobs that pay well and interest you as well opening an account to begin investing in securities and commodities. Find ways to make your money grow so that you will become wealthy and maybe that will attract women more "pretty" than you.

Become successful in all aspects of your life. Seek spiritual guidance if you feel emotionally distressed and have some sort of faith in a higher power. Seek peace and happiness and most of all seek success.

Don't worry about what you can change and get your ass out there and change what you can. Stop talking about it and DO IT.

DO IT. Actions speak louder than words so let your actions speak for them self.

 

good points. that''s part of the point i'm making. the work a person has to do in comparison i hard and discouraging at times.

 

you can't take stuff like this serious my friend........it's superficial stuff, beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. different things are attractive to different ppl.

 

good point. you are correct

 

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whoever makes you happy is the most beautiful person in the world.

 

Exactly! Very well put. Bitchin' won't achieve jack.

 

If your facial symmetry is bothering you that much, that is the sense I am getting here (I could be wrong), then call your local plastic surgeon office and talk to them. Most have free consultation for 30-45 mins. Make sure that office has done numerous work on ethinic faces especially on blks. Don't go the cheap route and get a botched work. Go to an excellent doc, one with lots of +ive reps, someone like that pompous Dr. Rey and so forth from Dr. 90210 show. Otherwise, if it is your body or pocket that is bothering you that much, then follow what others recommended.

 

funny stuff! i just might do that.

 

I completely agree with you. In fact, when I look at those couples, I see people who are equally attractive. I don't view those women as being more attractive than their partners.

 

Inherent in your comment is the fact that people who have esteem issues will have them, regardless. It may start with physicality but inevitably another issue will take its place. If your self esteem is high, then you do view yourself differently, have a positive outlook that can contribute toward goal attainment -finding a better job or completing an education.

Too often, I believe that we are affected by marketing. Television, print ads all tell us that we should have the "best" of everything. But, that's no more realistic than everyone thinking they should be homeowners, as the real estate meltdown showed us.

IMO, you have start from a position of being happy about yourself and always work toward self-improvement in every way. However, you should but be self aware of your "good" and "bad" points. Realism with ourselves should allow us to be grounded and happy, and that's the goal in life, isn't it, to be happy and not always have wanderlust for things that we can't attain.

 

Bhayes, you're full of shit and this is your muse.


Take a hike!!

 

First off, i want to apologize to the board members that felt offended or annoyed by this thread.

but i needed to both vent and pose some questions. again, im very greatful to the international female presence here. thank you for reaching out and sharing with us BM here.

today, i just returned from a apple store in wealthy predominantly white area of town to have my ipod repaired and all the greeters at the door were all super model women wearing the standard company attire but the actual people who answer the phones and the nerds who actually help you are way in the back.

and its amazing because it sort was like a metaphor for life. the pretty people are the ones in the front but the people really pushing the bus are way in the back where you can't really see them.

and its amazing because everything i have been saying is more confirmed and the video clips, interviews, news specials are so on are confirmed visually just now.

i happen to live in new town house area near the new redskin stadium and the area i live in is mostly middle class. when i ride the train i look at the people getting on at each train stop. there are about 13 stops. the further i get into the city the more attractive the people, espcially the women get.

the more wealthy the area is economically, the more attactive almost super model types i see. when i return home on the train its the reverse the further i get away from the city the more average looking the people get.

but it has all made me realize that while awareness is very crucial in life. letting this issue dominate my focus is not healthy. i have to move on.

and i'm sorry for making people here focus on this too much. i see now how uncomfortable people are with talking about this issue. Because we are all guilty. its just question of how cruel have we been.

and that having postive outlets, and creating a positive self-image and surrounding yourself with men, women and children who appreciate you for more than just looks, is important in life.

it just that because i'm in a somewhat bad situation socially its hard to build all this up in the environment i'm in. like i said i like to exercise and train. that's how i release tension

one of the members here has seen what i look like, no i don't consider myself ugly. i'm decent looking-average. No i don't hate myself but i used to hate myself. no I don't plan on having surgery either like Unchosen1 has suggested. i hope he was joking by the way.

i can only hope and pray that somebody out there can understand my pain and understand where i 'm coming from. maybe that's unrealistic to ask of somebody in todays diverse world of different opinions but that's my only reason for sharing these links.

But we are all guilty of lookism in some way. we all do it. Pretty people as we saw in the last clip we posted get depressed too. but again

life is not fair and having awareness of how it is unfair is important.

but i'm glad to see that the grass is greener on the other side for a BM but he has to be smart enough to walk across the bridge.

i'm glad to see BM in other cultures especially places like Germany, France, Sweden, Italy and other places doing well there. those men inspire me in a great way.

 

I have no been offended by anything you have said here. I believe that you do feel exactly as you have stated you do. There is some truth in what you say, but in your case it seems very exaggerated. If you have blinders on, expecting to see only one thing, you will see that, regardless of the reality of a situation.

I saw the example of the couples that you posted and, personally, I didn't find those women to be more attractive than their partners. I have visited Apple stores in very affluent areas in different cities and I have not witnessed the "super model" types as greeters. They were average men and women assisting customers questions and sales. It would be difficult for the "geeks" to repair products at the front of the stores as that area is reserved for product display.

I have worked in ultra wealthy areas near Chicago and in Southern Florida. While I was in Florida I visited a great number of homes, personally, that ranged from several million dollars to tens of millions of dollars. I saw no correlation between attractiveness and those areas. That's not to say that the night life in South Beach doesn't attract models and other "pretty" people. But, in general, in the day to day living I never saw it.

Again, I think that if you look hard enough for something you will see it. Focus on those things that you can change, be the best you can be, and try to be at ease with the rest, because you won't change it, and it only serves to frustrate you and make like unhappy for you. That's just my opinion and I hope that you learn to be happy with yourself.

 

good post.

 

don't worry about it....we all have our issues we have to overcome, just remember beauty is in the eye of the beholder....

 

Seen that, it is a marketing ploy. The Apple stores and Phone stores I go to always have attractive model looking female greeters. I have an aquitance who runs business and when I went to his spot, I noticed his receptionist, secretary, and office ladies being real hot. I asked him point blank about it, he told me it's all about eye candy attracting business, there is definately truth to that.

 

Good points. you are about 50% correct. And you are lucky that you have the mindset you have. You haven't been "exposed" but i do agree that you are right about focus.

I wish i had your mindset. I'm getting better everyday at focusing on things that lift me up.

but i know that i'm not crazy. i'm not exaggerating anything. trust me.

Irene jacob's husband

is not a handsome man. he is very average looking guy.



while she is now in 40's and aging nicely, she was said to be a classic beauty about 15 years ago.

fanny ardant was also a super beauty from france and had a child with francois trauffaut the famous director. he was not exactly a tall handsome man. infact he was a short balding old guy. but she loved him. she talks in interviews about how much she looked up to him.

take a look.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cIdQubrQFd0

there are other examples i could give.

i'm not saying that all apple stores all have super models as greeters. But the one i was at today did. and beleieve me the place was packed with men with smiley faces.

i can't help but notice that when i'm an exclusive area in maryland that is doing well economically and has nice cars and big houses and nice apartment condos, that there are lots of pretty to exotic ladies parading around. maybe i'm only glancing at what i SEE everyday. Maybe if i did a statistical research i would probably come up with figure that reflect what you are saying.

but those are just numbers.

Like i said, on my train route the closer in the city i get the finer the women get. and when i'm leaving the city its the reverse of that.

and there is one particular stop where ALL of the fine women get on and off. And that particular spot is a business district, with alot of nice resturants, night clubs and a stadium where games are at and other venues. So i may be off but i'm not exagerrating and i know that i'm not crazy.

but thanks for the positive advice. i appreciate it.

 

you are right. i'm glad i have the option of traveling around. i hope by the time i'm 40 i'l be living in germnay. preferably berlin or frankfurt. we will see how things work out