Lookism? Beauty Standards?

Found these clips.

this is a 20/20 special.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GaLKIB7s-oY

this is a gentleman who saw the special talks about lookism and

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICmGXnC6Axs&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P8E6cp-QgYA&feature=related


being that there are international people here as well as American and we have a mix a WW and brown people who are men, how do folks here feel about this issue?

this is another clip here. but its something to think about.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPbP4dCIuok

i feel its much harder on women because they suffer from beauty pressure but it clearly deeply affects men too.

this is a french actress named irene jacob and her husband jerome kirscher.

they just did a film called rio sex comedy. its a french/english film. filmed in brazil.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVvmxKd6H1I&feature=related

and clearly she is a pretty woman but i know of several attractive french actresses that are married to average looking men and they're very happy. so clearly culture plays a role.





http://www.tribute.ca/tiff/index.php/2010/09/16/bill-pullman-irene-jacob-rio-sex-comedy-interview/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNOLOPpNp1I

 

Interesting thread fam. Hope the haters don't kill it though.

[YOUTUBE]GaLKIB7s-oY[/YOUTUBE]

[YOUTUBE]ICmGXnC6Axs[/YOUTUBE]

 

thanks for the compliments. its just that i had an negative encounter with a person today and it really hurt me alot. it hit me real hard.:smt010:smt010:smt010

and it made me very upset and look back on my life and realize that life is not fair. And i try to use negative experiences as motivation to do something positive. i like to exercise. it helps release tension. when more time and money opens up, i will train harder and achieve my goal. in the form i'm in, i feel good about myself, but i'm nowhere near where i'd like to be.

but sometimes certain things get under your skin. sometimes thoughtless people can do things that break thru you armor of self-confidene that you work so hard to build up.

its like a children playing around in the sandbox and another child destroys your sandcastle you worked so hard to build out of just childish cruelty. that's how i felt.

And right now its lookism. I was angry an hour ago. but i have calmed down now. i feel better when i see tv specials and reseach that supports what we already know.

i personally feel greatful to arnold scharznegger and joe wieder because men like them brought bodybuilding into the mainstream and made it available to the ugly-average looking man. we have a chance now. i don't know what men did in the 70's before the fitness craze happened. its a shame. too bad for them.





atleast for men, if you don't have the super pretty face, you can train real hard and be a bodybuilder and you have a better chance of things working out for you. other than that (depending on the environment) you are really screwed. you might as well execute yourself or accept the fact that you will be overlooked and that people will not love you.

but i also realize that beauty standards differ around the world. what is considered average-passable here is considered exotic somewhere else.

But while i'm still here int he U.S. i have to deal with what we know as extreme lookism. the guy who does the commentary is correct and i'm glad he looked at the 20/20 special and broke thing down. after hearing his comments, i now have a new perspective on things.

and i have a strong desire to make people care about me as opposed to being a person who people like because of looks. this is why i feel charity work will be of great use to me. i have learned the hard way that average people sometimes have to give love in order to get it back. its a law of nature.

but atleast i have some goals. i'm proud of myself and i have come along way. thanks for listening to my useless rant.

peace!

 

this is slyvester stallone's trainer. and there is a moment in the interview where he talks about how life is not fair but weight training for men atleast is something that is fair. If you put 100% into it you will get back what you put in. He is right.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OlYc0fGRQlc

 

Here you go. Dude find some self esteem keep your chin up. Change your attitude change your life.
[YOUTUBE]OlYc0fGRQlc[/YOUTUBE]

 

Thanks for the encouragement but its hard to just FORGET all the emotional wounds over the years. i know i sound like a complainer, but its hard.

i still see things everyday that remind me about how lookism, materialism and yes even narcissism affects the friendship game and the dating game and the family game in my environment, which is in a big city in the U.S..

Extreme lookism destroys alot of people lives. Why? because we are constantly reminded that we aren't good enough. We try and we push. And we complain that we want to be treated better, but we get reminders of how it is.

Its harder on women but as i said it hurts alot men too. that woman out there who has an ugly body, with ugly breasts and an ugly face who is aging badly. i feel bad for her. when i see people struggling like this (male and female), i now try to reach out to them and talk to them and be their friend.

its hard to act like people don't treat you like crap because they don't respect your looks. Its hard to forget the hard times. luckily i'm in school and some opportunities will open for me and i can pay off some debts and leave the U.S. in a few years. i know that i'll be happy somewhere else.

the french actress irene jacob i metioned above and even another favorite of mine,

fanny ardant and juliette binoche

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x47tf8_fanny-ardant-la-femme-d-a-cote-fran_creation

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JcOzeDPtg3U

and a new actress Marina Hands

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-fws5xWfTM

are all attractive (not necessaily exotic looking but attractive) WW from france who in reality date and marry very average looking men. in most of their movie roles they tend to play the nice, caring, loving woman who looks at the average looking man and looks at his potential and tries to inspire him to be all that he can be.

in most their movies they play this type of character. If i hadn't discovered foreign movies and these actresses 4 years ago, i would feel very lost as a man.


being in an environment where you are dealing with women who suffer from beauty pressure and men who feel pressure to have a "dime honey" and then you get told all your life "your're not handsome enough" and then you grow up and you actually get your shit together and put on some muscle - and then you still get reminded that " hey you've come along way but you're still not handsome enough to get away with that" hurts.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4yIhib6Pr0Y

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-cwGBTcZlc&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2ENkPq2kEM


but thanks for the positive comments and listening to my useless rants. peace.

 

lippy works in the industry and what i will tell you is the same thing i tell my clients/customers...brush yourself off...put all of this negative back story behind you...workout if it makes you feel better and increases the endorphins in your body...take a look in the mirror and own yourself...i think men need to figure out what their personal style is and then go after it...the right hair cut...proper fitting clothes (start with one great outfit)...a good pair of shoes...the million dollar answer though is how you carry yourself and confidence...there is nothing sexier than a man with confidence...

:smt058

 

thanks for the encouragement. i appreciate it.

 

Just how ugly are you?

 

:-D:

Funny. Well let me say this. i see that beauty standards differ depending on the environment you are in. i have learned this. i would post a pic but this is the internet so i cannot.

In the environment i was raised in (african-american) standards are too high.

take someone like michael jackson before his surgery. he IMO was a pretty boy. but his father taught him to hate himself so he did what he did. he is a perfect example of black lookism turned into black self-hatred.



i have had people say they think i'm a very handsome man. And i had people say that i'm average but not ugly and others say that i'm ugly. I personally feel that i was a beautiful child but i aged badly and when i started having issues in my life started eating compulsively and was alittle chubby. after hardwork and exercise and aging nicely, i'm decent looking now. But because of the abuse i have taken but being compared to and then left out,

i always have this feeling like i'm not good enough and that i could be better. And i think this fear is a good thing and a bad thing.

but the same time i know that i'm too hard on myself. but i can't help it.


the ideal pretty man are black/brown men that have caucasian features.



Somebody like Derek Jeter is the ideal pretty man. that is the standard.




but take men like terry crews or


Even Daniel Craig from the bond movies.


these are not pretty faced men but they take very good care of themselves and they are aging nicely and look at how successful they are. so i try to focus on that.

i'm glad that men like that rise to success because it motivates me. thanks to bodybuilding the average-ugly man has a chance not just the pretty faced man!

 

Ever hear of body dismorphia?
You focus way too much on the way you look. You know what makes a man desirable? Confodence. Find some.

 

I agree. Focus on your fitness and inner development. Everything else will follow.

 

you are right. i agree that i'm screwed up. but i'm getting better everyday. nobody is perfect.

 

[YOUTUBE]UFhFaRKVpTY[/YOUTUBE]

 

They have some confidence on sale right now for only $9.99.


You should look into buying bulk.

 

I don't know how these dudes with low self esteem expect to get a quality girl if they don't think they deserve it.

Here's a secret women are more insecure than you are so stop putting them on a pedestal.

 

I think they both look weird.

Too many people subconsciously allow the media to influence what they find attractive because it's thrown in our faces.

My roommate is obsessed with this guy:


I think he's a good actor but I honestly don't think he's that cute. He looks completely generic to me.



this guy is completely gorgeous, though.

It comes down to personal preference...and how much each individual actually allows what other people think to influence them. People are weak minded, in general, and find it easier to allow others to think for them, so when they're handing the definition of "beauty" on a platter they'll blindly accept it. In my eclectic social circle I have never seen everyone agree on what beauty truly is, though.

I feel that personality, charisma, and confidence goes a lot further than looks. How one appears on the outside can only help so much...when you've got that "spark" it takes you further.

Case in point: I have a friend at school. He's about 6'0 and has to be at least bordering on 300lbs. If he never opened his mouth people would probably just think he's another fat guy...but he's constantly talking and laughing and smiling, and people are way more receptive to him than the slim little fashion girls who have bad attitudes. This guy has a fantastic attitude and is extremely confident in himself, and the way people react to him is impacted greatly by it.

I have personally seen him on the elevator stealing all the attention with a well timed, witty joke, or interesting observation, while everyone ignored a chick looking like a model standing right beside him. If looks were truly -that- important than no one would've given him any attention at all and instead ignored him to engage the model-looking chick.

I have a friend who is an average looking girl. She's got a great personality, though, and she always seems to be getting discounts on things you'd normally think only hot girls would get. There's something about her that transcends physical appearance. She gets attention and pleasant responses where ever she goes.

There's a girl in my classes who I'd say, according to what the media considers attractive, is actually a little cuter than my friend. She's also socially awkward and not very confident, and people pick up on that and don't spend as much time on her as others.

Then there's a ditzy redhead everyone can't stand, and it has nothing to do with how cute she is. She's very cute physically, but most people who encounter her think she's annoying and disregard her moments after she opens her mouth.


I don't care about dateline, and I don't care how many times people judge based on looks in reality...it may affect things sometimes but, in the end, how you react to situations and the things you say and do seem to impact people's feelings way more.

Or at least in a more meaningful way. I've seen men of average intelligence acting stupid over cute girls...but to me there's no substance and nothing to worry about, because I have little respect for people who treat others based solely on how they look. The people I care to interact with aren't that shallow, and the people that have always mattered in my life are smarter than that.

It's important to remember that confidence often equates with better receptions and interest than lack of it. Confidence in yourself colours others perceptions and causes them to see you as more attractive, plain and simple. People who believe they're just average and/or ugly tend to have less confidence, and I think that has a bigger impact on the reception they receive from others. Someone that considers themself beautiful, or knows it, obviously is going to have more confidence and it's going to show.

 

It doesn't matter what complexion you are. It doesn't matter what hair color or eye color you have.

There is a general consensus on what most people find attractive and it has to do with overall facial structure and body type.

 

Chiseled

 

smartass.