Long Distance Relationships

Hi,

This is the first time I have ever posted in a forum, so please forgive me if I disregard "forum etiquette". I am a quick study.


My boyfriend is in Iraq and will not come home for vacation until Summer 2006, and won't be home permanently until the end of the year. To make matters worse, every time there is an attack threat the internet and phones are turned off. I am not able to hear from him very often, I am in a constant state of worry, and I am about to go crazy!

If anyone has any long distance relationship advice they would like to share, I would appreciate hearing it.

Thanks.

 

My question is, is 2 hours away by car a long distance relationship????

 

You could get a satellite phone. That always works but it's a tad bit expensive.

 

no it is not just drive your lazy ass over there If you lover or you can both meet in the middle.

 

I feel your pain. I was in a long distance relationship with a man from Ghana for 2 years (I live in Canada). I met him while volunteering there and we formed a very close bond but when I had to come home, it was very, very stressful and lonely at times. If you think he is worth it though, you will continue to try as I did.

Communication is the key, so keep doing your best to do that. What ended it for me is that I felt like the relationship was one sided. I was giving and giving and felt as if I was not receiving. Just make sure he is putting in the effort as much as you are and hopefully time will fly by and you'll see him again soon.

 

I have been in several long distance relationships in the past. It all depends on if you are in a casual or serious relationship. My grandmother and mother waited for their boyfriends who became their husbands to come home from war. I have found that if you truly love someone then there must be:

Patience
sacrifice
respect for what the other has to do
understanding
and thought for the needs of the other person

I wrote letters every other day for 3 years
I got involved in civic organisations
active in helping the military families here at home
active in church
volunteering
take up a hobby

these will help you through the long lonely periods, but keep the faith and if you truly love him you will have patience and wait

 

I believe that a long distance love affair should be looked at as a test of true love. If you can go through a long period of time waiting for a soldier to come home or for someone to finish doing time in jail and you can do it without getting involved with someone else, you must really love that person. The dilemma of it all is this: if you do by chance have sex with someone else during this time and you aren't married to the person you were waiting on (or even if you are married), is this cheating? That's a tough question if you don't know when or if you'll see that personal again.

Peace.
________
"I dislike feeling at home when I am abroad."

 

Is it cheating?

Funny you should say that because this is also why it ended. He cheated. However, it's funny because although we were in a very committed (or so I thought) I would have understood if he caved and met someone on a casual basis. The fact that I asked him several times throughout our relationship if he was sure he wanted to continue and if he was seeing someone else and he flat out lied to me - that is when you define it as cheating. That is what hurt me and disappointed me the most and in the end...ended the relationship.

Like I said, it's all about communication...but also honesty, when it comes to long distance.

 

were you in a truly committed relationship? were you engaged to be married? see today people assume committed is that one is in love and sleeping together, but that doesnt mean true committment. If he is willing to seriously make it official, to care for you, to committ to only you then he would marry you first and then. . .

 

Yup, he told me he wanted to marry me and was to come in february (last year) to visit me and was going to stay for as long as he could. We talked of marriage and children...the whole works.

 

i am really sorry to hear this, but you sound strong and confident--dont let one bad apple spoil your belief that there is a good man out there though.

 

Thank you very much. I try not to let it spoil things. I know there is someone out there that is right for me I'm just a little shy when it comes to long distance now, that's all....

Now looking for someone a little closer to home...Ontario, Canada!