Happy New Year, WWBM!!! Since we’re getting ready to start the new year, I thought it would be a good time to share some thoughts/concerns/reminders to get 2019 off to a good start. We could definitely use a good year again; it’s been a while since we’ve had one. Yeah, I know this is a long post, but please bear with me...hopefully Tony Soprano won't feel the need to show up with Colin Powell in here. lol Sadly, folks seem to have forgotten what this site is about, and it is way past time to get WWBM back on track. Even though a lot of damage has been done due to the negativity, I think the site still has a chance of being saved if everyone does their part to build it back up. That starts with respect and following Site Guidelines. The rules are in place for a reason, and contrary to what some may think, the guidelines apply to everyone. There have been a multitude of reports for guideline violating posts and threads, and it’s been a lot of work cleaning up the messes. It’s a lot of work sorting through threads when many of the posts involved cross the line. We try to salvage what is salvageable, but sadly there isn’t much worth saving sometimes. Thankfully everything will be caught up soon. Rather than playing catch-up with every individual post warning in the problem threads, consider this a group warning for any guideline violations in those and future threads. The biggest issue is a lack of respect. I know there are some who want to dismiss and twist that into a call for everyone to be PC, but political correctness has nothing to do with it. It’s also important to remember that you disrespect yourself when you disrespect others. Basically, you can’t shit on others without shitting all over yourself in the process. A good place to start is showing respect for the man who owns this site (which includes abiding by his rules), and to appreciate what he has given us. The lack of respect and negativity make the site look bad, which has hurt participation (it’s run off a lot of good men and women), new membership, and business. People get the wrong impression of the place when they check it out, and it’s killing us. From the outside looking in, the site appears to be something it was never intended to be. Instead of a pro-WWBM site, it comes across as some twisted platform used to hate on people folks don’t like or have prejudice against (black/white people in general, black women, white men, women/men in general, LGBTs, Muslims, Asians, Mexicans, feminists, other IR, etc.), which is NOT what this site is about. It is also a violation of the site’s guidelines. Anyone looking for a site that caters to folks who want to engage in that type of thinking and behavior, this site is NOT the one. It’s understandable that people want to share their experiences or even vent from time to time, but it’s has gone beyond that and right into guideline violation via bashing territory. Use of slurs, whether they be racial/ethnic/sexist/homophobic/etc., is uncalled for, and it cancels out any actual valid point being made and discredits those who use them. It makes them (and the site) look bad. It’s downright embarrassing, and it’s bad for membership/participation/business. Slurs and personal attacks violate the site guidelines; that ignorance from trolls isn’t tolerated, and it’s unacceptable from others as well. Another thing the negativity has done is almost completely killed off the family vibe this site used to have an abundance of. Yeah, we’ve all had WWBM “relatives” that worked our nerves, or we didn’t get along with sometimes, but we were still family. Some of us still share that family spirit, but the toxic element makes it hard for us to come together. It’s depressing. The site used to be fun and flirty, and chat was a blast. We used to be able to have actual discussions on just about anything without everything turning into some ridiculous argument for the sake arguing or personal attacks for difference of opinion. We were able to share things about ourselves and our lives. We were able to share our interracial experiences and share pictures of our children, families, and ourselves. We were able to connect on a personal level and establish friendships. There have even been a few who’ve made that love connection after meeting on here back in the day. Enough is enough of toxic people ruining things for everyone else with their trollish behavior. If they want to behave as trolls, they should be treated as such. A few also have this misguided notion that posting anti-WWBM garbage from other sites is somehow pro-WWBM. There is absolutely NOTHING pro-WWBM about that. What it actually does is promote their hateful agenda by spreading it around, and it gives them a voice on a site where it doesn’t belong. It makes no sense to obsess on a bunch of haters this site isn’t even for or about, but for a few of the members here, that seems to be their primary focus. When hater trolls pop up posting the same type of anti-WWBM crap, it gets deleted and they get the ban hammer upside their heads. If it’s not okay when trolls do it, then it’s not okay when anyone else does. Some of the individuals who are so invested in those threads/topics also use them as an excuse to hate on the haters, especially if the haters are black women. It’s like an obsessive need to focus on black women (or whatever else the haters may be), which makes no sense on a site that isn’t for or about them. For example, a few years ago, some of the men were up in arms about black women threads on the site, which the webmaster did away with (that’s how the Women of the World thread came to be, thanks to a suggestion from one of the women). Now some of the same men (some under different names now) who wanted those threads removed, post about black women all the time. If those threads/posts were a problem then, they are a problem now. I know the difference for some of them was the intent behind the old vs. new threads, but that still doesn’t make any guideline violating threads/posts acceptable. This site isn’t intended or destined to be one of the hater sites that people like to complain about. That is why the Webmaster doesn’t want their crap posted on here (which is why I’m not naming them). Racist and other anti-WWBM relationship sites and their propaganda don’t have any place here, and this also isn’t the place for spewing hate in return. When people resort to that, it makes them no different than the ones hating on them. Yes, it can be hurtful and frustrating to be hated on but lashing out and going on the defensive doesn’t accomplish anything but giving the haters the what they want. Any hate and negativity are a reflection on the haters; not on their intended targets. Life is too short to let miserable people make us miserable, so why allow them to power to do so? I say to hell with that. If someone has an issue with me or who I date/marry/have children with, that’s their damn problem. A few other reminders: · This site is not the place for the ‘Us vs Them’ mentality between the men and women as though they’re in some twisted competition. One group does not take precedence over the other, so folks need to stop trying to create that kind of dynamic. · This is not the place for members to air personal beefs with one another. · Lay off the bait posts/threads. · Posts promoting killing people are inappropriate and unacceptable. · There is a forum for politics, and political posts need to be contained to that forum. · Members need to respect each other’s space. The Men’s Locker Room and The Ladies Room are not gender restricted, BUT the opposite gender must respect the other’s space. Both genders should also respect their own spaces by not using them to disrespect others or for any other guideline violations. · Use the Spoiler Tag feature. · Please don’t post links or material from Pay porn sites. · Be careful when posting pics from unsecure sites. Also, do NOT post leaked celebrity photos. · Please try to stay on topic in threads. Dragging politics/gender/race/etc. into every thread regardless of the topic is beyond old. · Please use the Report function when an issue arises (violations/complaints, questions, assistance with editing/deleting, etc.). A big thank you to those of you who use it; it’s a huge help. · Be kind to one another. Even if we’re dysfunctional at times, we’re still family. I also wanted to add that this post comes from a good place. I have much love and appreciation for Webbie, the site, and my WWBM family. This board is very special to me, and I feel blessed to be here. I’ve met many awesome people here, and I just want what’s best for the site and its members, and I hope we can all do our parts to get it back on track and keep it there.