Last Names and Marriage

Now you're projecting.

 

I don't do hysterical. I do do angry, and you wouldn't like to see me that way. It's a cold, very cold thing.

But you haven't even irritated me enough to make me scratch. At my advanced and senile age, don't you think the discussion about whether to change one's name or not is something I've done a time or seventy five million??

 

You talk about marriage as though it's a gift men give to women. I surely would never want to be with a man who thought he was doing me a favor to be there.

 

I guess there's 3 of us. After my dad died, I took care of the kids, the house and got dinner on the table. I practically raised my little sister, who was only 7 at the time. I spent my teenage years cooking, cleaning and doing childcare.

When I divorced, I knew very quickly that my ex had no intention of paying anything in child support (he defaulted on his first two payments), so I knew I had to find a job I could build into a career. Unfortunately, flexibility wasn't part of the gig. I'm really glad that you two were able to have a bit more of that than I did.

 

Both Curley and Jordan agree that a woman should take her husband's name, but I am the focus of your rage. You even called me a neanderthal in rep. LOL Hilarious.

Sorry I'm not some young dude pretending to agree with your feminist BS so I can maybe have sex with you. Any man worth his salt who is marrying to make a family wouldn't kowtow to such nonsense.

Again, remain single, you keep your name, problem solved.

BTW ladies, I didn't even notice this topic was in the Ladies Room, sorry about that.

 

I'm not opposed to the idea of making sacrifices for love, but I don't see why one party should sacrifice and not the other. I think there is a name for that (and it isn't "happy marriage").

 

I'm not raging, dear. Thanks for the negative rep. Seems like this has all upset you way more than it has me, and it's in the ladies room.

Curley and Jordan are adult women who are more than welcome to make whatever choices they want.

I've noted that if you dont want to marry a woman who won't take your name, you're entitled to do that.

Your judgementalism about other men is noted. Your opinions don't rule the world, or other men. Plenty of men "worth their salt" have married women who have kept their own names - most of the IR couples you rave over in the celebrity thread have done just that when they married.

Seems like you're the one having an issue with emotionalism, not me. I'm not running around negative repping people for disagreeing with me. I haven't handed out a single one since I got here.

 

Yeah, my job comes with the flexibility, buts also low paying, no sick pay or holiday pay, so the 2 weeks I had off sick resulted in 0 dollars. Not complaining though as I enjoy my job and as stated I'm there for my kids which is the mod important thing

 

Right to work state. :-( One of the reasons I got on the track that I did was that it provided me and my son with health insurance. And once I worked my way up to officer level, I got 4 weeks vacation, which gave me a *little* flexibility. When he was in grade school, I planned a day every year that he took off from school and I took off from work to spend in museums.

Childcare in the summer was a nightmare, often patched together on a week to week basis, sometimes day to day, so having extra vacation time gave me an emergency bank of days to draw on if I care fell through.

 

Did not read all the replys, sorry.

I am with FG, JC & Curley-I would like the woman that I am going to marry to take my last name. But if she desire to keep her last name for professional reason or what not, that's kool. But I would really like her to take mine, that's all.

 

The change of a woman's last name in the case of marriage is a non-issue for me. I'd be more focused on trying to create the most loving and secure relationship with my partner. If she insisted on taking my last name, I wouldn't object, but I would never ask any woman to take my name as a condition of a marriage. I've just never found that ultimatums lead to the best result, in any kind of relationship in society, let alone one you want to share with someone throughout your lifetime.

Btw. I'm speaking from experience in marriage and not some imagined position...

 

I didn't think that they allowed enlightened men who treat women with respect onto this forum. :smt058

 

I didnt have family help, which made it tough, but I had a wonderful babysitter/fill in child care woman who became another grandmother to my son. I'd known her since I was a teen, her daughter was a good friend, and I'd dated one of her sons for awhile. She was a lifesaver, literally on more days than I could count. Since I was in New England, we had "snow days" where school and day care were cancelled, but not work.