Ladies I have a question . could you be the .........

Did you read definition in your own post. It says the word community.. Not just household. Do you see that. Definition number 2 in the first set and definition 1 under the British definition.

 

Here...I said they are half way right....let's roll with that.

 

Let me help you. There you go.

 

If I'm not mistaken MC stated something about not being a true matriarchy if the women ate in control of the community.

 

"There are several types of matriarchal societies, including the matrifocal family, or mother-centered families. Fathers may not always play a role in the upbringing of children. There are also matrilineal societies, in which ancestral lineage is traced through the mother’s line. Also characteristic of this type of society is that property is passed down through the mother’s line. These families also center on the mother’s side of the family, with men sometimes leaving their own family units to join their mother’s. The matriclan includes multiple generations of the mother’s line, as well as her male family members.

None of these types of societies necessarily involve a matriarch in the sense of a woman as political leader, and is not necessarily in opposition to patriarchy. Instead, the term matriarchy can be used to define woman- or mother-centered societies that are based on maternal values and principles, like nurturing and caretaking. Matriarchies can be found at the social level, the economical level, the political level, the spiritual and cultural level.

Matriarch is defined as follows –
Matriarch (noun): a woman who rules or dominates a family, group, or state; specifically: a mother who is head and ruler of her family and descendants (Merriam-Webster)..."

http://www.mapsofworld.com/around-the-world/matriarchy.html (the arcticle goes into detail of existing matriarchal societies)

 

Well, I guess it's rather pointless now. I've posted a bunch of info which really could be used to argue both sides. If "they" aren't going to engage in the discussion....it's not going to go anywhere. Even if they do engage, I don't know that it would be productive.

I really don't know that the whole fight over Matriarchal/Patriarchal community/society is the crux of it all, or what will solve any issues.

We are where we are at this very moment. How do we move forward and make things better?

 

Ok, but again....that's really not the point.

What are the solutions?

 

For one...what I've been saying for awhile....Learn the divorce court obstacles and win.

What I mean is that men need to get access to their kids. Divorce is here and there will always be single mother homes. So dudes need to be present in their kids lives.

Women need to stop being asses when men want to see the kids.

Women need to get off the feminism kick when they get home. Its not working.

Women/men choose wisely.

Dudes need to learn to be leaders not dictators.

Women need to be team players.

That's just on the top of my head

 

The last 4 points were about being in the marriage

 

Ok...and how are those things really going to come about?

I think people can sit all day talking about what other people need to be doing, but they have no control over other people. The focus needs to be on what YOU (general you) and each individual can do.

You keep saying men need to step up, what can and should they be doing specifically to create change?

 

Do you think people should be marrying? Do you think it would be more beneficial if they shifted to marrying again? If so, in what ways? If not, in what ways?

 

Well like I said in the first part of it all when it comes to the divorce thing we need to sit around and talk about how they can efficiently get access to the kids and divorce court. Like for example where are the resources to find out information if you want to represent yourself partly or fully or at least educate yourself when dealing with an Atty.

Dudes need to sit around and give some good advice .

That's to start.

 

Yes, i believe in marriage but its not for everyone.
You have to marry the right person and you yourself (people in general including myself) be the right person.

Everyone always saying I can't find the right person. I would also say "are you the right person for that right person you are looking for?"

 

Marriage has great benefits if it is a healthy one. Its good financially, spiritually and for the kids

 

Ok....there is information online for the various local departments, as well as "how to" information for those who want to do it themselves, no cost/low cost seminars and services available. Many law schools will help people fill out forms and walk thru the process for free. Libraries have the NOLO press books/kits as well as other sources of information.

Maybe it's not that there is a lack of information and resources.

Many weren't married though. Do you think those who were married have a leg up on those who were not?

 

Well see I didn't know that.

When I was going through my divorce I represented myself. I had talked to different agencies and I didn't qualify so I grabbed a book. I did pretty well. I hired an attorney three months before the trial and I ended up spending about 3,000. Can you imagine if I went with him from the beginning?

 

Most people are afraid of the court system. I had an attorney I used for business matters. I handled my own personal stuff. I had a judge tell me that I was more thorough than any attorney he had ever seen. Once I realized how many times they make mistakes and how shotty their work can be, I said forget that!

Some things I think you really need one for, but not many. Often you can get free consults too which can help you on your way. Depending on where you are at, paralegals can help with things. Also, even for those who make too much to get free legal help, some places will do a sliding scale. Also, sometimes you can fill out the paperwork yourself and there are those who will look it over for you to make sure it's right (even if they charge, it's much less than paying an attorney to do it all).

For divorce, restraining orders, child support (and some other things) many of the local courts offer seminars/workshops to help you file on your own. Some have all that online too. They also may have mediators available to help settle issues.

Sometimes it can be beneficial to have an attorney's name on things...it can intimidate the other side and help keep them in check. Sometimes it can create more issues though and turn things into a mess when it didn't need to be.

 

Now this is the kind of stuff I'm talking about. If people knew that then they would use it and wouldn't go broke.

That's why a lot of guys walk away from their kids cause of the drain on their pocket and spirit

 

In an ideal case for me personally, neither is extremely dominant,yet he being slightly more.
Also in an ideal case scenario when one person has some type of issues, the other person should be willing to support and may in such a situation become the more dominant one when usually they may not be.