Ladies: Are You Labled Racist for Being White?

Ladies, those of you who are white here (please no black, hispanic, asian etc..) are you frustrated with your boyfriend's or husband's relatives, friends, and co-workers who automatically label you as a "closet racist" simply because of your skin color? I think whites in general have a case of racial profiling simply because they are white to be called racist. My wife had an altercation recently at work from a black woman who labeled my wife a racist because of a controversial stand my wife had taken on a race issue. By the way, that black woman knows that my wife is married to me, a black man. Ladies, what are your stories? What are your thoughts? I let my wife fight her own battles, but sometimes it's hard for me to ignore the bullshit she have to put up with ignorant people. I guess if all whites are racists, then all blacks must be stupid. Now we know neither is true.

 

I get it quite often, because of my accent. Someone hears a white girl in Texas with a Southern accent and they instantly assume I'm a racist redneck. It's even worse when they find out that I'm from West Virginia.

It's even worse when we discuss any racial issues, or they hear my friends and I joking around. But I try not to let it bother me.

It's usually other white people who assume I'm racist, though. Most black people I meet generally like me.

 

In a sense yes I do get labelled a racist by some closed-minded people. As if I had something directly to do with the oppression of a people or trading of human lives. Sorry it wasn't me, nor my family nor my ancestors. So no because I have white coloured skin does not make me a racist. lol

 

I never experienced this until I came to America. The 2 ladies in the post office I go to every day, one is black, the other hispanic are always really short with me, quite rude. But I just thought it was their personalities, that they didn't like their jobs or something. But then one day a black young girl was in the line a couple of people before me, and I saw her get the star treatment from the hispanic lady, called her sister and everything! And they didn't appear to know eachother. Then she called an old white man up after she finished serving the black girl and was rude as ever to him! I wonder if she expects white people are going to be rude to her and so she feels she has to get the one up... or it could be that she has the shits on the world in general too.

 

BT you seriously need to talk to your wife about having political discussions at work. It can really backfire on a person.

But do I get labeled a racists at work? Nope! Where I work there are plenty of full fledged-card carrying types. The types who stock pile weapons and fertilizer and play war games in the woods on the weekends. I have had to learn to navigate dangerous waters to survive. Which is why I learned quick to avoid political and/or controversial talk with colleagues.

 

Flygirl, I appreciate your opinion, but in my wife's case from what I understand the conversation was initiated from the black female co-worker. Granted, I believe it was started to render a response from my wife. Yes, it may have been a setup to get my wife riled up. My wife does not take shit from nobody, not even from me. She speaks her mind. When she hears B.S. especially about race, no matter who it comes from she will let you know what is on her mind. She does not care. She has more courage than me. I admit it. I guess that is why I love this woman. I would die for her.

 

I know how hard it is not to get drawn in, but you have to realize that at any point the people who goated her into this conversation could claim harassment and bring up this incident. I was a union rep for many years, seen a lot of people get caught up in stuff that they shouldnt have.

 

This should be a very interesting thread.

Props.

 

Getting caught up in controversial talk with a BW in the workplace is a no-win situation. I'm with Fly on this one. Some things you have to let go.

 

I was engaged to a black man from Antigua. His mother loved me but his father (who had never met me) hated me.

We were living together and I helped pay for him to return to school and get a post secondary education. I figured it would benefit the both of us in the long run.

His father referred to me as "THE DEVIL"

I decided not to engage him at all. I would answer the phone when he called and pass it to his son in a very polite manner.

We broke up about 2 months before he graduated. His father flew here to attend the graduation. He wanted to meet me and say thank you for supporting his son through school and paying for most of it.

I decided not to meet him. It was not worth it to me. He was so rude to me over the 3 years we were together that I knew it would just be lip service.

When he was with his ex wife family he realized that they liked me, had accepted me and maybe he had made a mistake.

I don't have time for that stuff.

My ex is now married has kids and is very happy. We still stay in touch about once a year and he always thanks me for helping and supporting him all those years ago. That is more than enough for me

 

vanilla2chai, I'm sorry to hear of your breakup with your ex. If it was as a result of your mate's father, then I would think if he truly loved you (especially as you help to support him thru school) then he would have stood beside you regardless of family pressures. I too ran through much resistence from family members before I married my wife. I lived by my mother's rule "Only you can find happiness for you". God was on my side when I found this woman. I was not about to lose her to anyone. It was hard enough to fight off the competition of other males who wanted her, I was not about to let her slip thru my fingers because of family bias.

 

We broke up for other reasons. His dad had nothing to do with it.