Just sick to death of the same old, same old...

Hang in there DB!
My mom has put me through some craziness over the years too! She's always been a very negative & judgemental person (she was raised by a couple of idiots) and I spent too many years trying to please her. She never could handle anyone who didn't think the way she did about anything. As the family oddball I always had her on my butt about everything. When I went off to school (she didn't want me to do that either because she wanted me to be her clone & marry some jethro & be miserable), I did what I wanted to do! I ended up with 3 black roomates on campus & she wanted me to move--I didn't! When she found out I was seeing black guys, she wanted me to stop--I didn't! Almost a year later I ended up pregnant & the guy was a dick about it, so I got a lot of "I told you so" crap thrown at me. What she didn't get was that he wasn't a dick because he was black; he was a dick because he was a dick! So she really got upset that I didn't stop dating bm!

Over the years, and it hasn't been easy, I've endured & learned a lot about myself & my mother. I learned that I do have the strength to handle the challenges of dating interracially and to keep loving my mother when she's done and said things that hurt me. I've matured enough to realize that no matter how misguided & ignorant my mom's thinking has been, she loves me & I love her. I came to realize that her negativity came from a place of unhappiness & lack of understanding & I had to accept that she is who she is. I've also prayed for her a lot too! After this I was able to be less defensive which made her less defnsive too. I'm happy to say that she started taking notice of the fact that even though she wasn't accepting me I still accepted her for who she is. We are in a much better place now & she's more open to understanding where I'm coming from. She still doesn't agree but she doesn't judge me anymore either.