just a thought

Like that chick from England I can't help but be surprised by this website. First of all, I live in a "southern" state, I'm black (pure african) and the question is, while I think we should as individuals be open to interracial relationships I think deliberately seeking them out because one likes "white women" or "black men" is a bit disgusting and closed minded.

I think we should be open to PEOPLE. Have you seen that one Kevin Smith movie "chasing amy?" In it a lesbian character who falls in love with a guy ultimately confesses why she let a man into her life:

"And while I was falling for you I put a ceiling on that, because you *were* a guy. Until I remembered why I opened the door to women in the first place: to not limit the likelihood of finding that one person who'd complement me so completely. So here we are. I was thorough when I looked for you. And I feel justified lying in your arms, 'cause I got here on my own terms, and I have no question there was some place I didn't look. And for me that makes all the difference. "

Are we limiting the likelihood of finding the one person who compliments by exclusively dating one race--even if it's an interracial one?

Me personally, an adorable cute anglo chick has developed a crush on me after I made repeated efforts to flirt with her. I'm taking her out pretty soon. I would like to think that I am attracted her because she's a woman--not because she's white or anything. She's not loud, she's not obnoxious, she's pretty and charming--ultimately, in my opinion, those qualities are more important than race.

Saying you'd only date white chicks or black men is freaky as shit, in my humble opinion.[/code][/quote]

 

I don't think anyone is saying you should only date a certain type, but some people are saying that they have a preference for a certain type, or at least that they're open to it.

If you read many of the posts on here, lots of people say that the colour of their partner isn't important but the character is. It's only outsiders who are making an issue of the IR factor, not the people involved in the relationship.

 

Well Bill look at it this way..

Why be with a BW if you're attracted to WW?

How is that fair to her??

A woman that prefers WM is not a good match for a BM..or visa versa

 

Well said, flaming and Iffy. Most people who are new in here, only read the posts/threads that they can get to right away, and have the most interest in.

 

Very well said, Iffy'swifey. Its the people who arent involved in it that make such a big issue out of it. Those involved in it know that its not as difficult as it seems. In my opinion, those who arent involved kind of see it as a socio-economical denigration if you know where im going.

 

Bill, that is funny that you say that. do you know that 90% of marriages are between Same Race couples? most of these marriage are between people who have exclusively dated and chose their mates partly because they were of the same race, culture, ethnic group.

so if the 10% of the population dates IR, and probably 3% at most date exclusively Interracially--how is that any more disgusting than the 90% of the people who date and marry exclusively Same RACE???

Hmmmmm, ponder before answering---it is sad to hear a fellow Southern say that, especially with the history of the South the way it is, with exclusion being the norm there.

 

Something interesting which occurred to me recently is this. It is proven fact that when searching for a mate, most people will stick to what they know - a mate who will make them feel at home (provided they had a good home, in which case, I guess they'll make one!)

I had a think about that and realised that, yes, in the main my partners have been from similar upbringings as me - not necessarily talking about money or class or certainly not race, but they have grown up with the same kind of values instilled in them, and in the same kind of loving family environment. Now, my current partner, for instance, has the same kind of values that I do even though we come from different parts of the globe (because after all some things are universal, of course!): the same work ethic, the same views on families and children, on religion, towards other people and so on. These things don't materialise by accident, and I think you could explain most relationships, full stop, down to people finding people whose views on life and upbringing accords with their own (in terms of these key values at least), but this attraction like any other is capable of transcending race boundaries.

What do people think?

 

[/quote]

This is an interesting comment. I agree with the idea that one should not limit ones choices when looking for the perfect mate, however, one usually has to accept that he/she is attracted to a certain type of person.

Some guys are mainly attracted to brunettes, for some guys it's redheads, some guys like big girls, some guys like slim girls. Some girls are mainly attracted to tall guys and some girls like bald men. AND some people are mainly attracted to people of another race.

I am mainly attracted to BM. They are who I find beautiful and they are the ones who turn me on the most. That's that and it has taken me some time to accept that - mainly because of the all of the negative stereotypes associated to WW who mainly date BM (all of which my mother happens to believe.... but that's a whole other topic!)

I do not exclude the possibility of dating/loving/being involved with someone from another race... but considering the fact that the attraction to BM is soooo great... I doubt that will happen any time soon.

 

I couldn't agree more with all of you, except Bill.

 

I think I understand Bill's view. I have no preference really, I prefere to think of everybody as people also. Everybody here has said "but why be with a bw if you like ww" but Bill did not say you must date the opposite of your preference, he said he thinks people should be open to everyone, not this race or that one.

 

[quote='Sup.]I think I understand Bill's view. I have no preference really, I prefere to think of everybody as people also. Everybody here has said "but why be with a bw if you like ww" but Bill did not say you must date the opposite of your preference, he said he thinks people should be open to everyone, not this race or that one.[/quote]

Regardless, a preference is still a preference, and just because you have one, doesn't make you any less open-minded than someone who supposedly doesn't.

 

Question...

If a white person says they only date white or a black person says they only date black, does that freak you out too? Or is this a one way street...

 

Yep. Note that bill has no answers yet.

---

...And Bill, since you cite the "Chasing Amy" argument...

...do you also date guys?

 

[quote='Sup]I think I understand Bill's view. I have no preference really, I prefere to think of everybody as people also.[/quote]

One thing I can't relate to is "having no preferences"... Where there are differences, there are preferences... Sup, can you think of any other aspect of your life where you're confronted with two distinct options, yet you have no preference?

...But since men generally do the pursuing & "courting", it's a little -- er -- "hard" to genuinely court a woman without that attraction there... Not to mention insulting to the woman... :mrgreen: And where I come from, the woman's sure not going to pursue the guy...

 

Damn good post is what I think. :smt038 Shared values are the meat, though different "colors" can be the spice...

 

couldn't agree with you more .... it is all about personal preference. For example: I drive a mustang ..... love them .... would love to have a new 06 ... black, GT .... It just happens my preference in men is exclusively black men, tall, educated and sexy. :smt007 [/quote]

 

Yo sunstorm,

I have a question: Is there really such as thing as having no preference? I just don't buy it, especially since those who argue that, tend to ONLY prefer their own color of women or men.

 

thank you sunstorm and vikvaliant, that is some real intelligent thinking! funny bill hasnt an answer for that--probably because bill is a white guy, racist trying to stir the pot

they love to criticize what we do but wont critically look at the segregation they created in far greater numbers than our 10% IR coupling--funny i see more WM/WW and BM/BF couples on television and in the movies than any combination of IR couples

so stop yer whining bill and look around you--esp in the south where IR couples are very small numbers indeed



PS--did yall see how he was so proud to right that he is ALL BLACK?? so clearly he doesnt mind his single race status

 

I'm most certainly not a white guy. I looked up the subject of interracial dating because I may very well soon be involved in one and came upon this site. At any rate, only one poster has understood my position so far. I'm not saying it's wrong to date interracially but just that it's a bit misguided to have an open, strong racial preference. It's like a fetish. I very well understand that MOST people will date people like them because of upbringing and such...people they're most comfortable with...and that's inevitable. The problem is when we conciously limit ourselves to one race. I mean, this "white women are the best" bullshit. Give me a break. :roll:

 

Are you kidding? I date nothing but!

*gays out*